Chinese Girl Takes Care of Paralyzed Boyfriend for 3 Years

Yang Na is getting Yan Hongbo dressed up.

From QQ:

Post-90s Generation Girl Looks after Paralyzed Boyfriend for 3 Years

February 18 report, Chengdu — 3 years ago, Yang Na, a post-90s generation girl from Qionglai, without hesitation gave up her job in Suzhou, and went back to her hometown to be with her paralyzed boyfriend Yan Hongbo. Her parents made a pact with her: if within 3 years he can stand up again, they would give their blessing. Now that 3 years have passed, hope for the boy to stand up again remains uncertain. Her parents reminded her to move back home, which put Yang Na in a dilemma. In the end, Yang Na made a hard decision, declaring that she is willing to “extend” this relationship another 6 months and if after 6 months he still hasn’t made a change for the better, she will obey her parents, and gradually leave him. Meanwhile, Yan Hongbo is also in a dilemma: he wants her to stay, but also wants to let her go to pursue her own happiness. (Photographed by Liu Chang)

Yang Na and her paralyzed boyfriend Yan Hongbo.

“I have no choice, my parents are old, and I have to think of them too,” says Yang Na. To sum up her relationship over the past 3 years, it was half sweet, and half bitter. Both her parents and her friends all believe Yan Hongbo is a burden on her, but she doesn’t thinks so. “It’s like looking after a little kid, he never causes me any trouble. He never gets angry with me even though sometimes my tone is harsh.” She says there are many things she can’t let go of, that even if she does leave, she wants to make sure his life is taken care of first, to get him a motorized wheelchair, to raise money to renovate his house. Even if he doesn’t live in the house, renting it out would be economic income for him. “Only when he can live well can I be at ease. I won’t leave him immediately. I’m afraid that he wouldn’t be able to cope, so I will leave him gradually. I hope he won’t blame me.”

Yan Hongbo.

“Some loss is destined, and some relationships will never have any result. I’m afraid that one day I may lose you. I want to cherish you so much; I simply cannot be without you. But I’m also afraid that my choice is wrong.” Yan Hongbo knows in his heart too that the “3-year pact” between Yang Na and her mother has already come due, but perhaps out of fear of facing the fact, he and Yang Na haven’t talked about this topic. Knowing the decision Yang Na has made, he isn’t surprised, only saying after a long pause, “In fact, I want her to stay, but I also want her to leave and be happy– I’ve been very conflicted, about this problem.” He says he can understand any decision Yang Na makes, and no matter what, he will never blame her. “I don’t want to let her go, but what else can I do?”

Yang Na and her paralyzed boyfriend Yan Hongbo.

Na Na’s mother says: “Our home is in the countryside, where men should be the backbone of the family, to farm the fields, to support the family. But Na Na can never depend on the man she is with now. We can’t help but worry. Her father is already 50 years old, and is not well. If for some reason we’re gone, how are they supposed to live? I worry that she may suffer. In the past 3 years, we often had to send her rice and cooking oil. Whenever we slaughtered a chicken or fish, we’d also bring some to them. In the past at home, she rarely did any housework, but now she must do everything herself. Over 3 years ago, she told me about Yan Hongbo’s condition. I tried to talk her out of putting herself into this bad situation. If she wanted to help, she could give him money and encouragement, but she must never invest too much feelings for him. But she was persistent, saying he had promised her that he would stand up in 2 years and give her happiness.”

Yang Na and her paralyzed boyfriend Yan Hongbo.

2014 February 16, Sichuan Chengdu Qionglai, Yang Na pushing Yan Hongdong in his wheelchair.

Comments from QQ:

没心没肺:

Being moved so early in the morning [by this news]. Whether you stay or leave, I wish you the best, girl. I also hope the boy can stay strong. Let go of the girl. If you can’t stand up, then no matter how hard it is, no matter how unwillingly you are, you must grit your teeth and let go! Letting go is the only way to be responsible for both yourself and her.

挪葳特林地板:

It is this kind of girl that can be called a beauty!

飞哥们:

I’m also paraplegic. My wife has been taking care of me for almost 7 years now.

环城:

Post a bank account! Let’s all donate, and give some support. Those who agree, raise your hands! A post-90s generation girl like her is too rare. [29,399 upvotes at time of translation]

党需要你:

Is Lin Zhiling a goddess [a beautiful woman]? No. Is Fan Bingbing a goddess? No. They only have beautiful skin and appearances that arouse sexual desire, whereas this girl is a goddess, beautiful both inside and out.

~Q~:

Good girls who commit themselves to a relationship and keep a promise are rare. Bless you two. Keep fighting!

流浪叼民:

Those who agree to dub her a goddess, raise your hands. Anyone? [6,914 upvotes at time of translation]

Comments from NetEase:

网易四川省巴中市手机网友 ip:171.208.*.*:

Positive energy. So good. You are the most beautiful woman.

网易江苏省扬州市手机网友 ip:112.84.*.*:

You are the most beautiful girlfriend! Bless you!

网易辽宁省抚顺市手机网友 ip:61.137.*.*:

Girl, well done. But if the boy can do some business with a computer, he should be able to make money, and live a fuller life.

LUCK霞霞的爹 [网易广东省深圳市手机网友]:

The best woman, the most beautiful woman.
Whoever has her is blessed for a lifetime!

网易山西省长治市手机网友 ip:171.123.*.*:

You make me believe in love again!

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  • ESL Ninja

    Her parents sound like right cunts.

    • ESL Ninja

      Actually, they sound quite reasonable I guess. I just wanted the sofa.

    • Terrik

      Better a right cunt..than…a….wrong…cu…meh.

    • Mighty曹

      Her parents sound like any normal parents concerned for their daughter’s future.

  • markus peg

    Quote from another site “she signed a contract drafted by her parents stating that she would take
    care of her paraplegic boyfriend for three years. If he was able to
    stand up by the time the contract ended, the couple would get her
    parent’s blessing. If not, she would have to leave him.”

    “While reports haven’t stated when the man became wheelchair-bound or
    for how long the couple had been dating prior to the contract, the end
    of the three years is approaching and doctors say that there’s no chance
    the man will walk again.

    The young woman’s parents desperately want their daughter to come home.”

    “he said that while it’s been tiring taking care of her boyfriend every
    day for years, it’s been worth it. She doesn’t want to leave his side
    and has made an agreement with her parents that she will definitely
    leave him in six months if his condition doesn’t improve. ”

    My question was – “”What would happen if she broke her contract?”
    Site: http://tinyurl.com/psmsesr

    • Irvin

      To answer your question: her “contract” isn’t enforced by law or punishment.

      She is honouring the agreement by her own choice because of her upbringing. Family in china is very important and approach very differently than the west.

      In america for example if you’re an adult and still live with your parents then it is something to be ashamed of and shun upon. In china however, one is expected to take care of their parents when they come of age, if they live in as well then it’s something chinese will find respectable.

      Just a difference in culture, society and indoctrination when we were young.

    • Mighty曹

      That headline sounds as though the parents were the ones who wanted her to do this.

    • Kai

      Shanghaiist didn’t give a source for their information. I was under the impression that it was simply a verbal agreement, that she had talked with her parents and this is what they agreed upon, not an actual written contract drafted and thus enforceable by actual law. NetEase’s story also says the 3 years is ALREADY up as opposed to “approaching”.

  • Guest23

    The boyfriend looks pretty miserable and depressed, any other sources that can say that he’s in some physical rehab program? because this is gonna sad in the end if his condition is permanent.

    • xuedi

      The worst thing in China is, that disabled people are more or less cast out, seldom leave home, and give up all hope. Its the mentality that has to change

      • Guest23

        A sad reality, there’s no social safety net for disability and there’s still plenty of stigmatization in China. Agreed that people should really change that mentality that disability means you’re a burden to everyone.

        • Dick Leigh

          Whenever I notice a “blind walkway” on the sidewalk, I try and follow it to see what happens. They’re hardly ever finished and most of them lead right into poles, or open manholes.

          China’s too dangerous for a disabled person to be out and about without people to help them.

      • Insomnicide

        Well that’s not the case all the time. I have some relatives living in China who are disabled, and they gather sometimes with fellow disabled friends. They aren’t exactly living any worse than before their disability impaired them. But then again, they’re living in the larger cities so they do have it better than the rural or small town counterparts.

  • UserID01

    Is there any reasonable expectation that he’ll be able to walk again, though? Like a doctor’s diagnosis? Very often, people who become paralyzed don’t ever get to walk again. I’d love to know if there’s some reasoning behind the whole “three years” thing.

    The best of luck to them both. I understand the decision she has to make, whether to stay with him or leave him, is very difficult. She’s a young woman and should be able to fully enjoy life. And so should he. But they love each other and the breakup would be difficult for them both.

    • Mighty曹

      Really. I’m starting to suspect it was the boyfriend’s ploy to keep her around for a while.

  • commander

    I hope she will not make a decions to stay with him out of any kind of sense of obligation toward her boyfriend.

    If she continue to get along with him because she loves him, it’s ok.

    But if the idea that her departure could leave him miserable and languish in desperation obligates her to stay the course, she should not stay in his side.

    It would be good to stay away from him for a while if she want to figure out what her mind is like about him.

    • Mighty曹

      She may have done more harm by staying with him for 3.5 years. Instead of learning to be on his own during that time he was completely dependent on her. It’ll be even harder to cope with now when she leaves, even if ‘gradually’.

      • linette lee

        In China or in any countries that is not first world country, being handicapped means you have no future and no hope. Their system and society don’t give support to the old, poor, and handicapped people. That is why it is so important to have welfare in a country. Everybody pay a percentage of tax based on their income. Those money can be used to help the poor, old, and handicapped. The children from the poor families too get an equal chance to go to school and live, so they too can become successful and contribute back into the society when they grow up. People don’t have to worry all the time afraid if one day something happens and they become disabled unable to work, they too will get financial support because there is welfare. You will feel safer living in a country with welfare system for the poor, old, and disabled.

        • hess

          “In China or in any countries that is not first world country, being handicapped means you have no future and no hope. Their system and society don’t give support to the old, poor, and handicapped people.”
          I was born and bred in a third world country, and the welfare here is top notch, and im pretty sure my european bro’s in switzerland will agree with me.
          Tip to not to just Linette, but everyone, everywhere; 1st world = nations allied to NATO. 2nd world = communist countries. 3rd world = non-alligned countries.
          developing country =/= 3rd world
          developed country =/= 1st world

          • David

            That would be the original meaning of the term Hess, but with the closing of the cold war, 1st world has come to mean developed countries and 3rd world undeveloped. However, I think you already know that and were just looking for a way to poke Linette. Switzerland is a 1st world country by the modern definition.

          • hess

            I’m not trying to poke at Linette at all, I’m just a drunk smart-ass right now.

          • David

            Fair enough.

          • linette lee

            haha.lol He is drunk. Look at the photo of his avatar David. That Island is part of his country. It’s beautiful.

          • chosan

            a top notch 3rd world country is Kuwait Saudi arabia UAE or singapore

            habib are from one of those?

          • Rick in China

            UAE is so top notch that their progressive modern society has issued a fatwa against muslims travelling to Mars!

          • linette lee

            hahahaa..lol really, you are from third country? I love to live in your country though. I heard is one of the best place to live. It’s beautiful there.

        • commander

          The absense of well-weaved social safety net can not be the reason the girl should remain with her boyfriend.

          • linette lee

            I agree. If she did it out of love then that’s okay. But if she did it out of pity then it’s wrong for her and her man.

          • commander

            That raises the classical question: Can she continue her love with him though her boyfriend is financially and phsically disabled?

            How much portion of love material affluence take up?

            Can she remain committed to the boyfriend in the knwledge that the future of staying with him is not bleak, with all financial hardship predictably coming up?

            Many commentators say to the effect that no matter what decision she will make, it is hars to blame her, indicating that love affection is mutual in essence not sarifice and love can be fragil if unexpected impact hits big.

          • linette lee

            If she stays with him due to love she will have to endure lots of hardship.

  • Mighty曹

    Every now and then a story like this comes out of China to restore faith in humanity. Primarily the Chinese.

    • linette lee

      Pretty sure many many nice Chinese girls in China. Or should I say many nice people in the world. But their stories don’t get out.

      • Mighty曹

        Materialistic girls outnumber ‘nice’ girls in China.

        • whuddyasack

          Maybe. Maybe not. One thing is for certain. They do seem to attract the most attention. But your quote about restoring faith in humanity and the Chinese is hitting the nail on the head.

          • Mighty曹

            In China, the elderly can really learn from the young generation.

      • whuddyasack

        True. Most news and gossip tends to focus on the negative, very rarely the positive. It’s just so much more interesting that way. That is why the stars in reality TV are almost always not the “nice” type.

  • Freddi BuBu

    Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck with materialistic self-serving bitches…..

    • TJDubs

      It would be interesting if he’d been faking it all along, and was just testing to make sure she’s not a materialistic self-serving bitch.

      • miomeinmio

        That would be… devious, dude. The only way I’d be OK with that is if he also revealed he was a gabazilionaire or a wizard or something as well.

        • Rick in China

          So you’re OK with being deceived by men as long as they’re rich?

          Needn’t say more.

          • miomeinmio

            Or a wizard.

            Duh…

  • comradewang

    True beauty do exist! The world, especially China, especially especially Shanghai, needs more beautiful women like this one.

    • markus peg

      Love’in the picture of the cat in your display picture.

      • comradewang

        Thank you! He’s my little fancy devil cat.

        You can check him out at:
        http://www.instagram.com/tuxedokitty01

        He thinks he is kind of a big deal :P

        • markus peg

          Thanks for the link, your cat is super cute, really nice photos. Tuxedo kitty, hehe that’s funny. =]

  • linette lee

    “Is Lin Zhiling a goddess [a beautiful woman]? No. Is Fan Bingbing a goddess? No. They only have beautiful skin and appearances that arouse sexual desire, whereas this girl is a goddess, beautiful both inside and out.”

    This is the best post. Yang Na she is a goddess and an angel.

  • JackElliot

    Definitely fake.

  • Probotector

    ”Post-90s Generation Girl Looks after Paralyzed Boyfriend“

    I love that, as if the norm is that anyone of the post-90s generation is expected to be a selfish materialistic twat. In any case, this girl proves otherwise.

    • Kai

      Heh, the same could be said about Chinese Girl Takes Care of Paralyzed Boyfriend for 3 Years.

  • ESL Ninja

    Why waste time putting his shoes on if he’s paralysed?

  • North-eastern

    My question: What’s more important?
    1. Him being able to stand on his own feet?
    2. Have someone pushing his wheelchair around all the time?
    3. Or have someone knock some sense into him that he is not completely paralysed. From the pictures I can understand he is not able to use his legs but his hands, arms and most importantly his brain is functioning properly. So he could atleast make a living out of those.

  • Mighty曹

    Haha… she looks familiar. Isn’t she of the web cam fame?

  • Mighty曹

    That’s the more reason to not let her take care of him. He needs to start learning to care for himself from the start. His parents aren’t going to be around forever.

  • Reptilian

    This story is amazing in that there are so few women like Lin. China is known to have the world’s largest mining industry, for the sheer number of its gold diggers, mostly female.

  • SonofSpermcube

    Holy shit, a Chinese person using a wheelchair that looks halfway decent. Seriously, I’ve seen one chair the whole time I’ve been here that wasn’t a hospital chair or worse, and it was a foreigner’s.

  • Surfeit

    Modern fortitude.

  • Subhajit

    This is so called real love as crippling not detouched the love ones from each other, such real love rearly seen in reality of life in this today’s modern world but it gives us hopes that real love still have, not died yet.

  • Tony Gambino

    Selfish parents. Let the parents go. Take care of the guy. Also, parents are old? And it says the guy is 50? hahahha. Good one.

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