Pandas, SpongeBob, Love, & Distance

checking the panda

This is the real Kungfu Panda! Am I right?

real Kungfu Panda

Staff at the Chengdu Wolong [Panda Reserve] giving physical exams to baby pandas. Criminally cute! This is exactly what “when in Rome, do as Romans do” means! Haha!

holding a panda

grabbing a panda

giving the panda a shot

checking the panda

Ever seen a “national treasure” as mean as this one…?

Latest “Prison Break“! The basic plot: Continuously trying to break out, but never succeeding!

Panda Prison Break

The truth! Turns out that long long ago, SpongeBob SquarePants had already appeared in China!

Spongebob in China

A real apple case! All other iPhone cases suck!

Aplle cases

A table for ex-girlfriends at a wedding reception — It’s not every guy that has the courage to do this!

the table for ex-girlfriends at the wedding banquet

Love has only two outcomes: Either, we each go back to our families, or, your mother becomes my mother…

Love's outcomes

The greatest distance in the world, is not between birth and death, but between you asking her, “Do you know that I’m thinking of you?” …and her answering, “Why are you thinking of me?”


The greatest distance in the world, is me driving a “bao ma” [BMW’s Chinese name, literally “treasure horse”] in traffic while you’re peddling a “fei ge” [“Flying Pigeon” Chinese bicycle brand] and leaving me in the dust.

BMW and Bike

The greatest distance in the world, is the goddamn distance between Monday and Friday… but… TGIF!!

Panda says 'Figting'

READ  The Encyclopedia of Embarrassment: March 9-15

Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

  • AngryCanadien


    • terroir

      Yo ancestors were so preoccupied with triviality that they lived in the forest without ever making a fire because they couldn’t see the forest for the trees.

      • moop

        yo ancestors are so fat they span generations

        • terroir

          Since I wish I wrote that myself, I am so totally going to steal that one. Touche, good sir. +1 for you.

          Yo ancestors are so ugly that they hit every ugly branch when falling down off the family tree.

          • moop

            heh, yo ancestors so dumb when they tried to trace back their lineage they pulled out a piece of paper and a coloring book

          • Blotha Lonely

            Yo’all ancestors are so lonely that you were whine here, alone~

          • moop


          • mr. wiener

            Yo ancestors were so poor they had to cut the bottoms out of their pants pockets, just so they’d have something to play with.

          • The Shadow Knows

            Yo’ ancestors were so ugly Sister Feng would be considered cute compared to them….

  • eattot

    panda is so cute……but some panda in zoos so dirty, reduced my love of our nation baby…
    once my ex googled that panda ate people to make me mad for fun,i was so angry. everytime he said panda eats people made me so angry.

    • terroir

      But it’s completely true. Pandas do eat people. They only eat bamboo as a way to stave off their terrible gnawing pains that encroach whenever they haven’t eaten human flesh in a while.

      It’s every Chinese’s patriotic duty to volunteer for panda meat sacrificial service. Tip of the day: did you know that a panda’s nickname in Chinese isnt’ 国宝, but actually 国饱? That’s because a panda’s belly is “full” of the “country’s” citizens.

      If you dont’ believe me, google it yourself.

  • moop

    renki’s article’s i would say are the worst on this site.

    • terroir

      …because they’re the most harmonious that give us nothing to argue over?

      I am totally a sucker for panda gifs, all the same.

      • anon

        The first one is great. The third one was a dick.

        • Ace

          …which was hilarious. Panda dickery!

    • Fu ZhiGao

      Come on, isn’t it nice to enjoy something for once and not have it devolve into chaotic, off-topic discussions?

      …There were, however, no comments by Chinese netizens, which I do typically enjoying reading.

      • Fu ZhiGao

        Though this isn’t a news story, so I suppose there wouldn’t be any comments. Ha.

  • Bruce Tutty

    Are they ready for caging and milking of bile yet?

  • Brett Hunan

    I see theres a panda (Chinese) and hes saying “fighting”. I thought “fighting” was purely Korean. I havent been living in China for 3 years now, but do they say “fighting”? Last time I was in China that one damned Girls Generation song was airing non-stop. Man, the Korean wave is slamming all shores.

    Yes, before anyone tries to explain…. I know what “Jiayou”means. Just thought the Korean translation was a little odd.

  • JSakamoto

    I’ve seen these sites before I think they’re just so hilarious. Chinese people are so funny sometimes, thanks for the laughs.

  • typingfromwork

    That fucking spongebob artefact is awesome.