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Chinese Man Spends 35K For ‘Obedient’ Vietnamese Wife

Nanjing man Dai with his Vietnamese wife A Yin

From NetEase and QQ:

Nanjing Man spends 35,000 to marry a Vietnamese wife, first family visit gift [only] 100 yuan

Summary: A Nanjing man surnamed Dai remarried after only spending 35,000 yuan to “find” a wife from Vietnam. “Not greedy, not lazy, not too open, not arrogant, not money-worshiping, is young, pretty, hard-working, kind-hearted, and key is obedient”, netizens have used “best quality product” to describe Dai’s wife. “Going to Vietnam to find a wife” has in recent years become the choice for a portion of bachelors, but there are also netizens who are questioning this kind of “buying a wife” method.

Writer Lin Yutang [林语堂] once imagined this kind of ideal life —- Marriy a Japanese woman to be your wife, find a French woman to be your lover, employ a Chinese person to be your cook, find an English housekeeper to manage your housekeeping. If Lin Yutang were alive today, his ideal must involve marrying a Vietnamese girl to be his wife. This way, everything he looked forward to could all become true. —- Journalist’s notes.

A Yin and Old Dai

Vietnamese girl A Yin

“My ex-girlfriends would always go to the big shopping malls to buy things, while this one now would be very pleased just going to a large market.” When talking about A Yin, the wife he just “brought” back from Vietnam, the face of twice-married Old Dai beams with happiness. Beginning from 2008, “going to Vietnam to find wives” has spread from the rural outskirts of the Pearl River Delta all the way to Jiangsu, Zhejiang, and Shanghai. Some bachelors who profess they cannot stand city “money-worshiping girls [gold-diggers]” began going through various channels to climb over national boundaries to arrive at their dream “pretty girl heaven” —- Vietnam. On the internet, there are innumerable posts reminding them that here you are “big moneybags [wealthy]”, and you can easily find a wife who will absolutely be obedient — obedient to the point that you collapse.

Is reality truly like this? Following the hype surrounding the topic of “Vietnamese marriage partners”, the internet once again exploded with debate over whether marriage is about feelings or about “buying a wife”. This reporter tracked those Nanjing men who had gone abroad to Vietnam to find their other half, and everything turns out to be far more “interesting” than we imagined.

Netizens were “shocked

Inviting the prospective marriage partner to go have coffee, 20,000 Vietnamese Dong; Taking a taxi, 100,000 Vietnamese Dong;  The first time visiting the girl’s family, 200,000 Vietnamese Dong worth of fruits; A seafood feast, 300,000 Vietnamese Dong…you need to first be clear that 1 yuan RMB is 2700 Vietnamese Dong. Which is also to say, in Vietnam, two people having coffee is only 7 yuan, and the gift given while visiting the girl’s family for the first time can be done within 100 yuan!

Like Old Dai, every person who has gone to Vietnam must remind themselves, “I am moneybags, I am moneybags. [I just have higher purchasing power]” Due to the underdevelopment of their economy, many local girls have formed the idea of marrying foreigners. “Remember, [to them] we are foreigners.” The partner Old Dai ultimately chose is called “A-yin”, and all three sisters have married into China. “One older sister married to Hong Kong, one older sister married to Taiwan, and the father-in-law’s family can be said to have a lot of face amongst the locals.”

As for how good Old Dai’s wife is, netizens have already described her as “best quality goods”. “Not greedy, not lazy, not too open, not arrogant, not money-worshiping, is young, pretty, hard-working, kind-hearted, and key is obedient.” This remarried man registered marriage in Vietnam last winter, and today his Vietnamese wife A-yin is already living with him in Nanjing. Aside from doing the laundry, cooking, and cleaning, Old Dai’s wife will at most go visit him at the office and learn dance from the dance class teacher while practicing Chinese.

The high quality life of having a “Vietnamese wife”

In addition to considering house and career, one must also consider their family’s circumstances. What looks like not unreasonable circumstances, makes 28-year-old Mr. Hong very depressed. Originating from the rural countryside of Subei, he has no house or car, but every day he gets a call from his father and no matter how the conversation begins, it always concludes on “quickly find a marriage partner”. Young Hong is indeed worried, because within the country, he is a bit “powerless” on the matter of finding a bride. Not long ago, he saw a person’s post on a Xici discussion forum, relating his experience of “finding a wife” in Vietnam.

35,000 yuan, 15 days, the poster Old Dai had selected one out of over 40 Vietnamese girls to bring home to be his wife. The poster had gone to Vietnam alone, and after publishing a personals’ advertisement in the newspaper, had attracted one local girl after another for “interviews”. “There were several that were truly really beautiful, who even on the big streets of Nanjing would “not be drowned out in the crowd” [would stand out]. This was how netizens evaluated the Vietnamese girls in Old Dai’s post.

Accustomed to going to 1912 [an upscale shopping area in Nanjing] every day, Old Dai himself was unable to explain just what he was busying himself with. But at the end of last year, due to a series of 47 posts of both photographs and text, him and his realistic “Vietnamese marriage partner journal” together became famous. “If we want to talk about Vietnamese girls’ most positive attribute, it would be their consideration.”

Careful/observant netizens discovered, during the process of finding a marriage partner in Vietnam, every girl who had eaten with Old Day had first filled his bowl with rice, peeled the shell off the shrimp, put the meat in his bowl, and waited for Old Dai to begin eating before being willing to pick up their own chopsticks. Facing this kind of scene, netizens were “shocked”. “In the past, there were only rumors, but we never though that Vietnam is really like this!” “This kind of thing we have encountered before, except in reverse, with us serving our wives…”

It is “marriage” once the girl’s parents consent

“Marrying a foreigner is a glorious/honorable thing, so much that in many villages there are even rules that someone must be married to a foreigner.” Vietnam’s “bride economy” is not an exaggeration, for people from Hong Kong and Taiwan have long ago been accustomed to this. Old Dai claims that in Vietnam there are even professional “nurturing mothers”, who look for good-looking girls in the countryside who want to marry abroad, bring them together to train their appearance and gentility, then specifically introduce them to foreign men.

Because of many years of war, Vietnam’s male-to-female ratio is 3:5 and there are many girls willing to marry abroad to other countries. In Vietnam, in many matchmaking advertisements, “nurturing mothers” will provide many kinds of guarantees —- marriage within 3 months, no price increases, if the girl runs away within a year, they will compensate with another. Old Dai has since traveled to Vietnam many times as a tour guide to help friends look for “Vietnamese brides”.

Marrying a Vietnamese girl is very simple, you only need to obtain the girl’s parent’s consent and then you can organize the banquet and the marriage certificate can be done later. “The first time I met A Yin’s family, they were very satisfied with me.” Usually, obtaining the marriage certificate requires about one month of time. During this time, the bride will usually remain with the “nurturing mother’s”, learning about various country’s languages and living customs, waiting until the marriage certificate is processed before the husband can take her back to his country.

“There are too many foreigners going to Vietnam to find wives, so it is not every day you can get a marriage certificate, and usually it is 100 newly married couples getting marriage certificates together and holding the ceremony at the same time.” Not only do they collectively obtain marriage certificates, they also have to wait until dark after work, after 6pm, before they can hold the ceremony. All of the newly-married couples must wear proper attire, and swear an oath before the likeness of Ho Chi Minh.

An 80 table banquet only cost 10,000 yuan RMB

80 yuan allows you to publish a marriage-wanted ad on mainstream Vietnamese media, find a native Vietnamese translator, and find a wife in Vietnam within a week. After organizing the banquet and handling the relevant marriage paperwork, you can marry a Vietnamese bride. The cause of Old Dai deciding to go to Vietnam to find a wife was a internet article titled “20,000 yuan buys a pretty Vietnamese bride”. After reading this post in 2008, aside from him becoming curious, having still not found a suitable partner in Nanjing, he also discovered that almost all of his friends around him also knew of this but no one was willing to go to Vietnam to go check out the real situation.

2009 September, Old Dai alone went to Vietnam, after several failed attempts. Once when ballroom dancing, Old Dai met the biggest/largest native Vietnamese “nurturing mother” (matchmaker), and from over 40 Vietnamese girls he chose his current wife. The second time he went to Vietnam, Old Dai completed his own marriage, registering at the local court/judiciary department, spending 10,000 yuan RMB to hold a lavish 80-table banquet.

“I remember on the newspaper you could only advertise looking for a friend, not a marriage partner, and when my ad was published, the phone never stopped ringing. ” In Vietnam, Old Dai would meet various girls, all hoping to go through him to meet mainland young men.

Netizens angrily say

This is “buying a wife”

“This kind of marriage, can there be happiness?” With regards to going to Vietnam to find obedient brides, many netizens also expressed their own perspectives, “Vietnamese brides do indeed listen to you in everything and have no ulterior motive towards your house or assets, but this is like a robot and this kind of life simply does not have any fun.” Many netizens were angry with this kind of arrangement. They believe marriage needs two people to mutually contribute, and “buying a wife” from Vietnam is not actually advisable.

But Old Dai does not see it this way. After returning to China, Old Dai posted on certain websites photographs and material/information about himself finding a wife in Vietnam, and offered a 5000 yuan special tour that he would lead, along with 35,000 yuan special tour + introduction + wedding + marriage procedure documents. “The response has really be good, and I have already taken groups to Vietnam 9 times, at least once each month, with at least 3 people, at most 12 people. I will be taking another group at the beginning of next month, conveniently taking my wife back to Vietnam to spend the new year.” Old Dai claims that at present most of his clients are from Shanghai, Beijing, Taiwan, and Hong Kong, and almost all of them have found satisfactory brides in Vietnam, with over 200 people in Nanjing having contacted him but none of them having gone [ahead with going to Vietnam].

“Vietnam brides are truly indescribably good, thinking back on once having spent several hundred yuan to purchase a pair of discounted shoes for a girl in Nanjing only to have her say it wasn’t good enough. Now, my wife never shops at Xinjiekou, and would only be willing to spend money at a large market.” Speaking of his wife, Old Dai appears very pleased with himself. During the conversation, he disclosed that even when it comes to the leftover change from purchasing daily household necessities, his wife will return it to him, “[she] doesn’t see money as being very important.”

  • Passport 220 yuan
  • Notarization 830 yuan
  • Processing 300 yuan
  • Vietnamese Consulate (Shanghai) visa yuan
  • All Nanjing to Shanghai expenses 610 yuan
  • Nanjing to Nanning roundtrip airfare 1880 yuan
  • Vietnamese marriage partner evaluation fee 1000 yuan
  • Agency and various marriage certificate expenses 15,000 yuan
  • Wedding banquet, outfits, video, etc. marriage expenses 14,000 yuan

Total expenses about 35,000 yuan RMB

Comments from NetEase:

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网易英国网友:

Chinese girls now are becoming more and more outrageous, everything is about money, not one bit of traditional character left.

网易广东深圳网友:

The crisis for Chinese girls has arrived.

网易广东深圳福田网友:

I regret getting married early, ai ai ai…

网易上海市浦东新区网友:

Very good, solves the male-female ratio disparity problem, and indirectly helps Vietnam’s economic development.
Although, I’m just afraid Vietnamese men will get angry at us when they cannot find women.

网易山东潍坊网友:

Let the mother-in-laws of those women who will only marry if you have a car and house and those money-worshiping women all go “drink Northwest wind” [go to hell].

网易甘肃兰州网友:

A reminder for NetEase: It is best that this kind of news not be reproduced. What’s wrong with Vietnamese people? Are you saying a Nanjing man who spent 35,000 to marry a Vietnamese girl is some kind of good deal? They [Vietnamese, women] are people too, not things to be purchased. This kind of news lacks journalistic ethics/morals!!!

网易北京网友:

So going to Vietnam to find a wife is simply buying a wife? This expenditure when compared to finding a Chinese wife is like a drop in the ocean [35,000 for a Vietnamese wife is much much cheaper than the expenditure for a Chinese wife]!

网易广西北海网友:

China does not have an immigration policy, so she won’t be able to gain Chinese nationality after marrying her and bringing her back, which will be a bit of a hassle in the future.

网易福建厦门网友:

I met a Vietnamese wife of one of my friends. 20,000 [RMB], but she is both short and dark, even uglier than Guangdong people.

网易河南郑州网友:

Vietnam’s male-to-female ratio is 2:5. Fuck. Chinese men exceed women by 32 million. Fuck.
I am willing to go rescue the suffering Vietnamese girls.
Damn, I’m excited just thinking about it.
Not greedy, not lazy, not too open, not arrogant, not money-worshiping, is young, pretty, hard-working, kind-hearted, and key is obedient!!!

网易上海清浦网友:

In Anhui where I’m from, there are a lot of people who have bought Guizhou girls to be brides, so in certain places of Guizhou it has become a kind of business. That means after you have spent the money, [the girl] will live with you for a period of time, then secretly run-away to find the next bachelor to deceive into marriage. My village alone has had many like this who ran away. My old schoolmate even has a 1-year-old baby daughter, truly sad. Paid 30,000 kuai but in the end all for nothing. Buying a bride to live with is already a social problem. Likewise, deceiving people into marriage is also a social problem. For those old single bachelors,  they do not have much say when it comes to marriage, they are the weaker party. Especially in the rural countryside, have those organizational departments realistically looked after them? They simply want to have a home and family, a happy life only.  I hope society can pay more attention to the marriage problem for older unmarried youth in rural areas. To those people who deceive people with marriage, I despise you.

网易广东佛山网友:

Be careful of Vietnamese conning you, they go back on their words the most. Don’t find out later that instead of finding a wife, you brought a spy back, because then you would all over for you.

Vietnamese bride A Yin

Find a marriage partner. chinaSMACK personals.

Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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