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“Chinese Women, Please Don’t Sleep With Foreigners”

An interracial couple.

An interracial couple.

The following is actually pretty old but like the “China Does Not Have Any Men Suitable For Me” post, it occasionally is becomes hot again and is reposted across the Chinese internet. — Fauna

On Tianya and NetEase and Mop:

Chinese women! Please don’t sleep with foreigners.

Ask a foreigner why he has come to China.

He’ll probably answer that he likes China’s long history, splendid culture, rapid development and changes.

But let me tell you, apart from a small minority who have been sent by the government or their company (usually along with their families), the vast majority are related to the two factors below:

One, they’re not doing well in their home countries, or they simply can’t survive in their home countries;

Two, they’re looking for Chinese women.

One afternoon I was coming back to work with a French woman that I work with. We saw from a distance an old person picking up trash. He was pushing a cart. The French woman poked me, saying “You see that?” “See what?” “Over there right in front of you.” Only then did I see that this old person was a foreigner, carrying a bag, with long dirty hair. I’m a little short sighted and had thought he was someone picking up trash. That cart he was pushing wasn’t a cart at all, but a pram, with a little half-blood kid in it. Next to him was a Chinese girl, a slim young Chinese girl.

The French girl laughed: “What’s up with you Chinese girls?” She was laughing because we had just been talking about this topic over lunch. Actually I’ve seen and heard it many times before; the story of this kind of foreign guy and Chinese girl. I haven’t paid much attention but this pair before me were in a class of their own. This sweet Chinese flower and this old, ugly, fat, short, bald, shriveled foreign guy, and their little baby in its pram.

My French friend was doubled over in laughter (I don’t know why she was laughing like that). At that moment, as a Chinese person, my self-respect was deeply deeply hurt.

A few days later I decided to do three things. First, to let everyone know the ugly truth about foreign men. Second, to call to action all Chinese, so that we can make our women see that the world doesn’t revolve around foreign men. Last but not least, I have decided that to become a scholar, I will have to temporarily give up my day job. This will allow me to focus on my research. The topic? Chinese men in the eyes of foreign women. This way I’ll be able to give Chinese men who are looking for foreign women a helping hand.

My colleague and I made our first stop by seeking out those white women who live in China but have never had a Chinese boyfriend. We hoped to find out the reason for this. We also sought out those who had had Chinese boyfriends, or were married to Chinese men. They helped us with the good and bad points of Chinese men. I know that these kinds of laowai are few and far between, but luckily I know a few.

We also got these expat white female laowai to fill out a broad questionnaire. Through this scientific analysis led us to a picture of the Chinese male, and illustrated their top five Chinese men. We asked them to answer these questions:

Are foreign women interested in Chinese men? How do single laowai women want Chinese men to treat them?  How can Chinese men make themselves more attractive to foreign women? Which Chinese men do foreign women like the most? What kind of foreign woman likes Chinese men? How should  one approach a foreign woman in a public place? When did China become a paradise for foreign men?

John is one such an example. Not long ago, I ran into him on the street. He was holding hands with a Chinese girl a half a head taller than him. He said that his Chinese girlfriend worked for a modeling agency. Actually if John hadn’t called out to me I wouldn’t have recognised him, he looked completely different to how he looked the last time I saw him.

John, 42, is American, 162 cm. He hadn’t graduated from high school so he had a hard time finding work in America. After drifting around Africa for two years, he heard that lots of Americans hit the jackpot in China so he went to Shanghai. When he first arrived in Shanghai, he was a stranger in a strange place, and only got a job at a small town in Jiangsu as an English teacher.

After a few months John wasn’t satisfied, so he headed back to Shanghai, staying in a 12 kuai a night hostel. That’s when I met him. I had gone there to find another foreign friend of mine for dinner. I saw them chatting and assumed she knew John, so I asked him to come along too. I only found out later that she’d only just met him.

When it came to ordering, John ordered something quite expensive. My friend asked him in English, “That’s pretty expensive, are you going to pay for it yourself?” John was like a school kid who has been caught doing something wrong and canceled it. Seeing his pathetic look I told my friend in Chinese that it wasn’t a problem, and told him to continue ordering.

After that night I got quite busy with work, and forgot all about John. Seeing him this time, he told me that he’d found work at a school in Shanghai. I haven’t spoken with his girlfriend, but could tell that she already has begun to look down upon Chinese people. Seeing her, I could not help but think she must have idea that her American John had to depend on others to survive. This kind of thing is too much like idol worship, obviously something humans created themselves, yet creating them and then going to worship them.

Once I was on a bus and saw your typical American slacker. He was with a Chinese girl, feeling her up right there on the bus. You could see that she really wanted to let him know how moved she was by the experience, but unfortunately her English vocabulary seemed to consist of only two words.

A taxi driver once told me that once he picked up a black guy from a bar. He got in with a Chinese girl on each arm. He assumed that they were both ‘professionals’ so didn’t pay much attention. That was until they arrived at their destination: the dormitory of one of the top research schools. He said he was really surprised at that.

According to reports there was a dying AIDS patient in a hospital in Beijing who admitted that in a few weeks in Beijing he’d had ‘relations’ with six Chinese women. An investigation had found out that all of them were high level intellectuals.

Such a group of foreigners are living in China. They can’t find jobs in their own countries, but come to China and can make a living, drink and get women just off their foreign identities. And all they do in their spare time is grumble about China. There are even consular workers who abuse their position to take advantage of Chinese women. Some even gloat in public that “With my signature I can get any Chinese woman.”

China, did you know about this? You’ve given laowai too much, too much, so much that laowai have come to look down upon you. So much that even foreigners themselves find it odd, calling [those ugly foreigners] white trash. I want to take this opportunity to warn those laowai to not feel too proud. All you have gotten are the bodies of Chinese women, bodies without souls.

Recently spreading on the internet is a joke about foreigners looking for Chinese brides: A 47-year-old foreigner registers at a matchmaking agency in China. For a long time, no one contacted him. Then suddenly on day a whole heap of inquiries are sent to him, which of course takes him by surprise. He asks around what happened, and it turns out that someone at the agency made a mistake: They’d written his age as 67 instead of 47.

Matchmaking agencies for foreigners also prove that the reason that Chinese women want to find foreign husbands isn’t love. Investigations have shown that the average difference between a Chinese bride and her foreign husband is 10.5 years. 13% of brides and grooms are from different generations, with a 20 year difference in ages. Apparently the record is a 54 year age difference. The American groom was an 82-year-old old man, while the Chinese wife was only 28.

As chance would have it, I recently saw a joke in an American magazine: An eighty-something old man accompanied his pregnant twenty-something wife to the hospital for a checkup. The doctor kindly tried to suggest to him whether [his wife’s pregnancy] may have had some other cause, but the old man immediately refused to believe it saying, “Impossible. I’m capable of working miracles. Last time when I went out hunting with my wife and one of her male friends came too. I just pointed my umbrella at a deer and it fell down dead.” [I don’t get it either – maxiewawa]

I don’t know if that Chinese bride will let everyone know the good news about her pregnancy, so that we can all share in a real miracle. She’s probably gained something in her marriage, but has lost something very precious: respect.

But actually the fault lies with those Chinese women who go around with foreign men. But they are mostly women who haven’t been overseas, who don’t have a realistic view of the world. This is why I’m taking the opportunity to tell them how things really are. If you’ve found real love, I congratulate you. My personal feeling is that no matter how far, how long or how fleeting real love is, it’s always worth chasing.

Even so, I have to give you a word of advice. Firstly, although the thing that most Chinese women want is a stable marriage, apart from a few exceptions, the divorce rate in western countries is around 50%, and in marriages between cultures there are even more reasons for instability.

Secondly, I am highly skeptical of whether today’s foreign men will really give Chinese women true love. The reason is because before you can have true love, you must have respect, and in the eyes of foreign men, the image of Chinese women have already begun to be ruined by the minority, having become: The world’s most promiscuous, most brazen, most devious, simple-minded, intellectually slow, stupid, “easy” girl. It’s hard to imagine a man giving true love to a woman like that. There’s one exception, which an American told me about, which is those foreigners who want their wives to be a three-in-one combination of maid, cook, and sex worker.

Maybe you’re just doing it for money. I get it, I’m not stopping you. But I just want to tell you before you give up your body that you should make sure of two things: one, that this foreigner you’re giving yourself up for really has money. Trust me, lots of foreigners in China don’t have two cents to rub together. Secondly, that he really wants to marry you, because if he doesn’t formally marry you, his money is his and you have no claim to it.

Maybe you just want to leave the country, again, I’m not stopping you. But once again, you have to make sure of two things before giving yourself up: one, that this foreigner really wants to go back to his own country. Although foreign countries have more money than we do, that’s a long way from heaven. Lots of foreigners don’t want to go home because they can’t find good jobs (some can’t even find jobs at all). You think they want to go back to the same crummy, lonely life? Secondly, make sure that he’s really going to marry you. Because if you don’t you won’t be able to get permanent residency in his country.

The daughter of a neighbor of a workmate married a farmer from a Japanese mountain area. This neighbor is always telling my colleague stuff like “We don’t worry about money any more, ten thousand, twenty thousand, it’s nothing.” But, dear neighbor, do you know if your daughter is really happy in Japan. Chinese value face over everything, and always bringing out the good points in people while overlooking the bad. A few years ago a Chinese TV station went out to that mountain village to interview this girl. She’d left the bright lights of Shanghai for this remote, cold little village. All I heard from her was disappointment, frustration and helplessness.

Maybe your reasons are sexual? In Australia there is a Ms. Shi who wrote an article saying “…. I have a girl friend who in China was already considered was quite open, a woman who has had abundant sexual experience. However, the first time she was with a western man, she still felt a kind of extreme “fulfillment”. Telling me about it on the phone, she was so excited that she was thinking of immediately marrying that westerner, whereas I rather calmly advised her that western men that are good in bed are common, that out of every ten western men, eight are great in bed while two are just so-so, that out of every ten Chinese men, two are just so-so while eight are awful.”

As soon as Ms. Shi’s article became widely known, Chinese men clamoured to defend themselves.The subject was in the papers for several months, with debate continuing so heatedly that apparently it made headlines in international news overseas. But this was a subject that did no favours for Chinese men.

Whether or not Ms. Shi was speaking of her own experiences, or if she was trying to represent  for all women, is unclear. I hope that my research can shed some light on the matter.

The subject of my research isn’t Chinese girls that have married foreign men, but the other way around: foreign girls that have married Chinese men, or white women who have had Chinese boyfriends before. I asked them straight out how Chinese men perform in the bedroom. The replied bluntly that they do well, one even used the word “perfectly”. One person’s reaction to my question was “What, don’t you guys have confidence in your sexual abilities?”

My research is ongoing, with the results of the research to be completely published afterward.

I also need to tell everyone that recent research has shown that women’s levels of satisfaction when it comes to sex isn’t dependent on the man she’s with, but on her herself.  Research has shown that if a woman is sexually repressed, the main reason is that she has some kind of psychological block. If she can get over this psychological barrier, she can have the same powers of reaction, and her physiological requirements can even surpass that of a man. Apparently the reason Miss Shi’s friend’s first time with a western man was so great was that she subconsciously threw off those psychological restrictions.

The newest research has found that men and women’s reaction to sexual stimulus is actually the same. For example, it used to be thought that men reacted more to visual stimulus, where women responded to tone and mood. It was thought that this is why men like to watch pornography. But an English scientist has found that visual stimuli, like pornography can also arouse women, even to the point of climax.

Of course, Chinese men can’t be said to have no responsibility in this. But I can tell everyone that Chinese men’s biggest problem isn’t physiology at all. Then what is it? Lack of sexual skill. The reason that those eight western men are great in bed, is that they don’t just marry someone from the same village. They have sexual counseling and STD clinics, and they are very open when it comes to sex. If there’s a problem they seek professional help. To give an inappropriate example, the cooking skills of an old lady who has cooked all her life is inferior to a young cook, so we can see how important professional training is.

Those hollering for the extermination of ugly foreign men are all getting worked up. Maybe, some readers reading to this point have already begun condemning those Chinese women. But slow down! I want to ask something: On the issue of what created these ugly foreign men, are you and every single one of us completely blameless?

Women who seemingly sell themselves for money can be found everywhere in the world. Americans know them as gold-diggers, with the only difference being that women like that are looked down upon in other countries, and only in China are they respected and envied. Surely this “laughs at the poor but not the prostitutes” society wasn’t made by these women?

An American Sinologist with lofty ideas of China’s history and culture came to China with her husband. But not long after she decided to cut her trip short and go home. Why? “Almost every day there were so many Chinese girls surrounding my husband, some didn’t even bother to conceal it in front of me. I think that going home is the best thing to do, for the sake of my marriage.” She asked puzzled, “I read novels from the eighties, girls who accidentally fall pregnant to their lovers would feel so shamed that they would commit suicide.”

I don’t get it either, they’re Chinese after all, how could we have changed in only twenty years?

I want to ask those foreigners, especially those Americans who get so much more than average Chinese, is it them? I can understand why the President’s visit would make the headlines while it was going on, but why is the announcement that he will be visiting at some time in the future such big news? Don’t forget that the more face you give someone, the more they look down on you.

I’m calling for action, to stop Chinese women from worshiping foreign men. Of course, I understand that my own personal power is negligible, which is why I’m asking everyone to help: If you know any Chinese girls that come into contact with foreign men, you must please forward them this post.

If you’re married to a foreigner, boldly stand up and tell your sisters that your life outside of China is lonely, boring, hard, and that you miss home. If you’re a parent, stop showing off your daughter’s new wealth, her position as a mistress, or that she’s married a foreigner.

If you’re a translator [Oh hello, he’s talking to me! – maxiewawa. He is a “she”. – Fauna], don’t show mercy. Our ability to glorify foreigners in translation is the first in the world, this itself an expression of subconscious worshiping of foreigners: No matter how you pronounce “America” it has no similarities with “mei” [beauty], and yet we insist on translating it as Mei Guo [“Beautiful Country”]. Look out our neighbours the Japanese. Their word for America is “Mi Guo” [“Rice/grain Country”]. Now isn’t that a lot better! No matter how imaginative you are, you would not mentally connect “Rice Country” to “Beautiful Country”, and at most just a place that produces food. [There’s a sentence here about Marlboro that is not so funny when translated.]

If you’re a customs official or diplomat, don’t hold foreigners up as a shining example, as the saying goes, “Foreign news isn’t all important news”. Treat your own countrymen a bit better, foreigners only come and go. Don’t forget that the food you eat was cooked by Chinese people, the clothes you wear are made by Chinese people, and your salary is from Chinese people.

If you’re in the sports industry, stop helping Real Madrid earn money from Chinese, or at least stop inviting bastards like Mike Tyson to come here.

If you’re in the insurance business, you mustn’t treat foreigners any different, let them be worth the same as any Chinese.

If you’re in a key positions [government jobs], stop being greedy and engaging in corruption. You are the main reason for the problems in today’s society.

If you’re an economic scholar/expert, stop thinking only about how to protect those with vested interests, don’t just be a mouthpiece for those in power, put in a word for us ordinary common people.

If you’re in the legislature, don’t just think of “***P”. If mountains are leveled, water is polluted, air dirty, all is desert, morality bankrupt, compassion gone, harmony lost,  and people leave this world tormented by their disease, what meaning/significance/use will ***P be?

If you make money, do some good with it, earn some karma, and who knows maybe there really is a next life? Don’t let the old phenomenon of the rich wasting food and wine behind closed doors while the bones of the poor are frozen outside happen again.

If you’re a doctor, try and save a life, maybe there might be a heaven after all. Don’t let angels die under your watch.

If you work in the legal/law field, protect the dignity of the law. There are too many ghosts of people who have been wronged wandering around already.

If you’re a movie director, don’t spend money on frivolous things. Make a movie where the Chinese girl rejects the foreign man, or where the Chinese guy conquers a foreign girl.

If you’re in dentistry, recommend us a truly good toothpaste. let everyone know about some good toothpaste brands. Today’s Chinese people really need to grit their teeth [this is a joke, Chinese need “better toothpaste” because they need to “grit their teeth” but the deeper meaning of “grit their teeth” is more like Chinese people need to persevere and endure difficult things].

If you’re in advertising, stop using cliches like “regal”, “honorable”, “noble”, “successful”, “imperial”, “upper class”, and “luxurious” that make people sick.

If you’re a teacher/role-model, teach our next generation a class about “disgrace/having a sense of shame”. As kids, our mothers often warned us that our clothes can be old/worn-out/lousy but they can not be dirty; that one can be poor, but cannot have no self-respect. Wealth should not be ostentatious, power should not be abused, poverty should not be transferred; One’s skull can be crushed, blood can be spilled; Life is precious, love is valuable, but both can be given up for freedom. How can today’s students not know these sayings?

If you’re a Chinese woman, lift up your proud head! If you’re a Chinese man, straighten your back! There is an irrefutable truth in this world, which is that if you don’t respect yourself, you can never gain the respect of others. A country, a people, are no different.

This was allegedly written by the wife of Yu Minhong, the boss of the well-known New Oriental Education Group. None of these photographs were included with the original Chinese posts.

We were told after we had translated this that another translation can be found here. You can compare the translations. — Fauna

Comments from Tianya:

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木叶果:

There is some sense to what is written here. the laowai who lives on the floor below has had many different girlfriends live with him, all young Chinese girls.

V_岚:

Support!
The amount of foreign worship these days is indeed a little serious…

山寨老爹1218:

An American guy I met at a short-term university training course once said: “My extra-curricular activities involve getting as many Chinese girls as I can. I’m a white guy so I can get all the pretty university students, models, actresses etc. The only thing I have to do is speak my own country’s language (English) with them, this is simply heaven.”

律王子的美味饭团:

It is not as frightening as you put it, are all Chinese girls idiots? Those who marry foreigners are not necessarily doing so for money, just like marrying a Chinese is not necessarily because of true love. Do you think that marrying a Chinese guy never ends in tragedy? Don’t make good Chinese girls out to be so desperate.

In Shanghai, many pretty MM marry abroad, are Shanghainese men not responsible in some way? You guys [Shanghainese men] all ran off marrying women from outside Shanghai, so what are Shanghainese women supposed to do?

慕淅涵:

We had a foreign teacher in the past that was a complete foreign pervert, often telling the girls to go to his house for one on one tutoring, even telling us to go take showers at his house. Every time he got close to me,  Whenever he’d come close to me I’d slide away from him and face the wall. He even asked me if I hated him, and I said maybe. Stupid cunt. Last time, he even said that the earthquake was a good thing for China. I erased everything he’d written on the board. The sad thing was that the first few students that responded all actually said “yes”. I’m guessing they had not yet realized what he was saying.

nioe:

Who wrote this? They’re crazy!

My sister in law has been married to a German for over ten years, with two children, and they’re very sweet/happy together! When she first got to Germany, she had to work while studying, even selling stuff on the streets to make money, it was very difficult.

The above is the first point, which is to not overgeneralize. Second is do we have to find a poor and blank [no background] piece of garbage man before we can be dignified before some of the people above? People seeking to elevate themselves/get ahead in society is natural, why be so resentful? If there was a real opportunity, I bet you guys would run faster than anyone, so just who is the messed up one here?

Third, those who anxiously seduce foreigners into bed upon meeting them are indeed disrespecting themselves, but not all women who are with foreigners are this way. There are also good foreigners, and not all foreigners are “studs” [the meaning here is men who only want to play and use women].

p.s. You say “Chinese women don’t sleep with foreign men”, discriminating against Chinese women [as opposed to saying “foreign men don’t sleep with Chinese women”.]

HXD2009:

Well said. But economics decides a lot. [For example], where I am the economy [economic opportunities] are considered pretty good, so the girls don’t have too much interest in leaving the country or finding laowai.

绝望的蚂蚱:

This is just an essay. It reflects some truths. It doesn’t overgeneralize, the author just expressing through words. I personally feel what it reflects are common phenomenon in this society. This main thing this essay reflects are the negative sides to things. Its content doesn’t actually say the everything is wrong, and only talks about a portion. No one is stupid, everyone knows there are good and bad sides to everything. If there is good, then there is bad. After finishing the essay, everyone can decide for themselves!
So everyone can stop arguing. Don’t be too extreme, just know what is good and bad, right and wrong.

今天天气云很多;

Why would there be an essay like this, this kind of feeling? Probably because Chinese men have not married enough foreign women.

魔力小YOULA:

There are many examples of this around me, and only when you see it with your own eyes will you understand how ridiculous this is. The foreign teacher at my school is a sixty year old with a head full of white hair, but he’s able walk on the streets with schoolgirls not yet twenty on both arms.

七叶桫椤:

The problem isn’t with young Chinese girls getting with an old, ugly, and poor laowai, it’s with some Chinese girls who, after getting with a laowai, don’t even think of themselves as Chinese anymore, thinking that having married a laowai automatically makes them a level higher and look down upon Chinese people. I only BS this kind of person.

酒后失身不必当:

But there are also many girls who don’t have good prospects who have married handsome, young, wealthy, gentle, and considerate laowai husbands, and you guys still curse and yell?!
A-ha, no matter if they are good looking or ugly, as long as they are marrying laowai, they must be criticized, right?

南方佳人绝世独立:

Truly sad! Some women always believe laowai are rich! At worst they can get a new nationality! I feel these women are really brainless! There have been reports saying that even foreigners from the countrysides of their countries can be foreign teachers when they come to China! To be more blunt…only those without money or ability would come here…who knew the girls here would also proactively give themselves away to them…with the girls who are a bit smarter all not making this kind of losing trade! We can only blame those girls for being ignorant! Thinking anyone who is a foreigner is a god of wealth…

_腐腐腐_:

Complaining about our country’s women getting with foreigners, why not examine how our country’s men are such disappointments? Why are so many Chinese girls willing to marry foreigners, yet very few foreign women are willing to marry Chinese men?
Inferiority is inferiority, don’t always try to force morality.

15.问题少年的马甲

Truly hilarious. So marrying a laowai is disgraceful,
yet [she] wants to research how to help Chinese men marry laowai.
So I guess this is what Yu Minhong’s wife is like.
So seriously affected by [her husband’s] male chauvinism…boring.

xz_lu:

Too extreme.

The examples of marrying foreigners or having foreign marriages are all pretty good – the key is: Both sides’ characters/personalities must similar/compatible.

bighead2008:

This is a topic worth heated discussion. Why do those young educated females so want to be fucked by foreigners? Is it because foreigners’ JJ are long or is it because foreigners have better skills? Having seen too many comments saying this or saying that, I only feel sad. Having gone to school that many years, are their heads all full of shit?

woshihanggong:

Chinese women with laowai are not necessarily planning to marry them. It could be their vanity, or it could be that they too just want to sleep with laowai. Chinese women these days, especially those Chinese women willing to be with laowai are also sexually open/liberated. Maybe they just want to experience what it feels like to ZA [zuo ai, 做爱, have sex] with a different race, that’s all. This kind of thing everyone has needs, no need to make a big deal about it because no matter what, who takes advantage of who has nothing to do with society. However, these days laowaiin China are very popular and that there are even many women who are afraid they’re unable to get in their beds is definitely true, especially in universities where there is plenty of this happening. Fortunately, this doesn’t happen very much at my alma mater, usually just one or two. Of course, we cannot dismiss all laowai who have come to China just because of these laowai who have come to China with bad intentions/motives. Our school has had many laowai who were sent by the government whose professionalism is beyond reproach. They themselves said they had all gone through a very strict selection process. Of course, I have also seen what those so-called English teachers at the inferior schools around mine do in this country, how poor/bad their characters are normally. There are good and bad laowai, one can discern for oneself. But normally those who were sent over by the government are usually good, but they normally do not stay long in any one place. Sigh, as it is said, it is still that we are not good enough, and if our economy improves, then the foreign worship problem will be solved at the root!

Someone for everyone. Personals @ chinaSMACK.

Written by maxiewawa

Native English speaker who'd like to make a living from translating some day. Until then continuing to teach English.

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