Chinese Dating Site TV Ad Promotes Being Forced Into Marriage

Granddaughter visits grandmother after university graduation.

The Chinese dating company Baihe recently aired a commercial with the theme “Because of love, do not wait” which showed an elderly grandmother persistently nagging her daughter to get married. The perception of being held hostage by their families to get marriage enraged many netizens who viewed this practice as backwards.

The ad also encouraged people to visit Baihe’s “stores” for in-person matchmaking services, which offered real person services for those who distrust online dating, a field previously dominated by traditional matchmakers. Netizens also criticized the “stores” for commoditizing marriage.

Baihe TV commercial, grandmother asks granddaughter if she has gotten married yet.

“Married yet?”

Baihe TV commercial, grandmother asks granddaughter if she has gotten married yet.

“Married yet?”

Baihe TV commercial, granddaughter decides she can't take her time choosing a husband anymore and must marry while her grandmother is still alive.

“I can’t take my time being picky anymore.”

Comments on Sina Weibo:

球球是圆的:

I cannot help but say this commercial is promoting an irresponsible attitude towards marriage. Marriage is only for oneself, and finding someone suitable, with a similar upbringing, with the same values, with a matching personality is not easy. The foundation for a marriage is economics and love, and every marriage without these two points will only end in tragedy. Why get married? Should you be in a hurry to get married just because of a parent/household elder’s expectations? Whether you get married or not, you should listen to your own heart, as a good marriage comes from waiting.

木樨科:

If she didn’t get married, her grandmother might live a little longer…

烂夏天:

I feel that woman would say while being urged to get married: “So, I went on Baihe.com, found a woman I truly love…grandma, actually, I’m a lesbian!”

孔府小鱼:

It’s this retarded commercial! Thinking a female’s goal in life is to get married? To forcibly find a husband just to satisfy her family’s needs, is this fair to the other person? How is this different from bowing to the words of matchmakers from their conservative parents?

邵大福:

Isn’t this Baihe.com? Isn’t Baihe for lesbians?

Bonnymeishu:

Such a filial girl, who for her family, went to a brick and mortar store and purchased a husband, what else does this store sell? Looks like as long as they make money, even a harem is possible!

鸡脑子ff:

Right, I’ve gone before. At the store, the lowest was 20,000 RMB a year, while the most expensive was 498,800 RMB a year, hehe, and they even said they have people who can investigate the other party’s level of income, such liars!

70小街601__考研奋斗中:

This SB commercial discriminates against women. Whether one gets married or not is their individual freedom. After this many years after liberation, can we just do away with the feudal-style forced marriages? Or are we going to start fining and punishing people if they don’t get married?

fuck-off-style:

They should add a scene at the end where the grandma asks: are you pregnant yet?

喵的神奇:

We all know that young people are watching TV less and less now, this commercial’s main goal is to brainwash parents.

白框:

This lousy commercial, using family love to hold people hostage [emotional blackmail], my family is currently in this situation, where not getting married = no value in existence, not being filial, that my mom did not raise me properly, that I went to school for nothing, studied for nothing. During [Chinese] new year’s, my dad’s male friend pointed at me and labeled me unfilial, said I am selfish. My dad even played songs at home with lyrics about being filial to one’s parents. Being at home, I just wanted to throw up. It’s so difficult to go back for the new year holiday for a visit, only for it to be made into something like a [Cultural Revolution] denunciation/struggle session.

0张小鱼0:

The store allow you to choose anyone, and if after using them for a few days, you can return them!

我心永叔-火山:

So the stores are in the business of male prostitutes?

Baihe TV commercial, granddaughter in wedding dress with husband visits grandmother on hospital bed to tell her she has gotten married.

“I’ve gotten married.”

“Because of love, do not wait.”

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  • Terrik

    One of the many reasons I’m glad I wasn’t born into a culture that currently pushes such pressures onto their children. When I got engaged to a Chinese woman, her sister’s response was one of relief: “We had already given you up as a ‘leftover woman’ at 26. 26. @_@

    • ScottLoar

      I knew a mainland woman of 26 or 27, living comfortably alone in Shanghai, whose parents suddenly rushed in for a two-week stay, then methodically went through every drawer, cupboard, shelf and box looking for evidence of the love child they were sure she was hiding from them. She told me all this with laughs. Not many laughs two weeks later after she had gone through each of the three guys her parents presented as suitable husbands.

      There are public squares that attract old folks looking to exchange info about their kids to make a match; there are tv shows where earnest young men are grilled by moms and daughters (some of the girls have been on these shows for years in self-promotion), and where young women are questioned, ogled, and sometimes embarrassed by young and youngish men (some of the guys have been on these shows for years in self-promotion), but it’s hard to take seriously a girl who proudly announces, ” 我很愛媽媽,離不開媽媽” (I love my mama and can’t leave mama), then asks the guy’s reply.

      • Terrik

        I knew mine was a keeper when she said, “I love my parents, but lets agree now that we won’t permanently live with either mine or yours”.

        • ScottLoar

          Good for you, but a Chinese new mommy with her first child will rush back before the child is a year old to show her parents. On your next trip to and from mainland China or Taiwan note the number of young mothers with babies on their laps in the airplane.

          • donscarletti

            Oh really? Cause white chicks never show their new kid to grandma/grandpa until their all grown up?

            Seriously dude.

          • whuddyasack

            I’m sure they do. But what I think Scott was talking about was more on a filial sense. For new White parents, grandpa and grandma are usually as excited as their children to see their grand kids. White grandparents visit their children to see their grandchildren.

            However, many Chinese mommies go back to their home towns and villages or even country to visit their proud grandparents. Their 孙子or 孙女 aka little princes/princesses.

          • North-eastern

            Well, that’s because these new mommies and daddies have no idea what to do with their newborns. How to feed them or even change their diapers. Even after they become parents themselves, they’re still dependent on their own parents for every little thing.

            That happens because they spent all their youths studying in schools and not learning any necessary life skills.

            History has been repeating itself for “5000 years” already….

          • don mario

            its true. they shouldn’t be having kids if they cant raise them themselves, period.

            when i have kids i will raise them. interfering parents will get a shock when i ain’t having none of their crappy grandpa and grandma raising traditions.

          • the ace of books

            That happens because they spent all their youths studying in schools and not learning any necessary life skills.

            Actually, I have it on the authority of asking many new parents that it’s because “oh god, we have a child, what the hell do we do now?” Nothing to do with schooling, everything to do with suddenly having birthed a tiny poopmonster who depends on you entirely. No one is going to know how to deal with that the first time round.

            Note: I’m not disagreeing with the idea that young people need to learn life skills, nor with that there’s far too much focus on studywork in Chinese schools. But I am adamant in the point that 90+% of new parents are going to freak the hell out because of the sudden personal paradigm shift.

          • Surfeit

            Little column A, little column B.

          • North-eastern

            Suddenly having a baby?? Nah, I don’t think so.. No one just suddenly gives birth to a tiny poopmonster or pukemachine…. You are ready or you are not. It is very simple indeed.

            I know it is hard for many young people to adjust into their new life routine after becoming a father or mother, but my point is, why wait till the baby is born? It doesn’t hurt to have some basic knowledge (through books, research or someone who has had the experience of becoming a parent already) before it is time to push that little monster out of your womb.

            Problem in China, is that nai nai and lao lao are always pushing couples to have kids: “Oh you just need to make one, rest is all our problem”. isn’t it?

          • x1sfg

            Do you have kids? If so, and you thought you were ready, I’d say you’re a rare breed.

            I thought I was ready, until it actually happened. And when you have an overly energetic energizer bunny who started walking at 8 mo, running and climbing up furniture at 10, then multiply that kid by three each 1-3 years apart, you’ll see that half of what you learned was garbage. With the exception of nutrition and how to hold a baby, half the child psychology BS didn’t apply to my kids.

            I’ve been in three conflicts and wars and I found combat deployment less stressful than raising children, although the latter was much more fulfilling.

          • North-eastern

            Thank you for your “rare breed” compliment. You are probably right about that.

            Being ready or not, refers to being ready to adjust into your new routine, like I mentioned in my comment. Yes, if you’re not ready to accept the fact that you are going to go through a lot of changes after having a kid, then you shouldn’t have one and then complain about how you can’t get enough sleep or how troublesome it is to look after your newborn.

            I got two kids. Boys, 8 and 2 years old. I come from a family full of kids. My mum raised 8, three of my sisters got 5 kids each. Observation makes a lot of difference. So, when my then GF (now my wife) announced that we’re going to have a baby, first thing I asked her was that it is a life-changing decision and if she’s ok with that? Her initial reply was “No problem. My mum knows everything”. Funny enough, I ended up teaching her mum a lot, and I was only 26 back then. Don’t mean to brag or anything but when I was in the hospital with my newborn and my wife, I was asked by many aunts, lao lao’s and nai nai’s if I was a professionally trained babysitter. Haha, hell at one point, my wife asked me how many kids have I had before?

          • x1sfg

            That’s a pretty ethnocentric comment, and this is coming from someone who has no love for the Chinese.

            Do you honestly think most parents even know what they’re doing? I went through every class I found, read all I could, and I still ended up winging the whole parenting thing.

            Go to any US metropolitan city and ask these DINK couples if they know how to change a diaper. I’d say roughly a quarter know. It’s not an education issue, it’s the new parents being spoiled growing up. It’s just as common in the US I can tell you that much. In Georgia where I grew up, we knew how to do simple things like diaper changes. When I lived in Manhattan and LA, nannies ended up doing most the child raising, at least in the more affluent areas. The not-so-economically well-off had family members pitch in

          • ScottLoar

            Thank you for explaining to the dude donscarletti.

          • whuddyasack

            My pleasure ;-)

          • x1sfg

            Really? Then why I have I been dragged to so many baby milestone parties?

          • DavidisDawei

            Yes – I did notice – The plane I was on from the USA to Shanghai in January had quite a few new babies.

            I have been told by several female friends, who are Chinese, how they went to live with her parents during their pregnancy. They explained their reasons why, but I was thinking “I’m not sure that I would be OK with that one.”

          • don mario

            the guy’s opinion is probably not weighed in at all..

        • linette lee

          I know many folks in USA the grandparents live in the same house(two family house). The grandparent babysit the baby and the parents work outside full time. It’s either this or send the baby to daycare 10 hours a day. Which one you rather?

          • Terrik

            It’s not about what I’d rather do. My own grandparents wouldn’t have liked to live together. They always had been independent. Even if they had moved down to Florida where I had been living, they likely would have gotten a house nearby, but certainly wouldn’t have asked to move in. Of course, needless to say, help in child-rearing is always welcome.

      • donscarletti

        Despite the pressure, her mother would rather have a sad but filial spinster daughter than have a happily married daughter, a successful son in law and healthy grandchildren in another city.

        I would say it is an unfortunate conflict between the one child policy and traditional Chinese values. China has no working welfare system, the population born before 1970 with obsolete skillsets or no skillsets whatsoever, a poor work ethic in late life and an extremely low retirement age. This means that the parents welfare is placed upon a single child’s shoulders and it makes the child’s happy future and the parents’ somewhat mutually exclusive.

        • ScottLoar

          “Despite the pressure, her mother would rather have a sad but filial spinster daughter than have a happily married daughter, a successful son in law and healthy grandchildren in another city.” I don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about; which of my posts are you referencing?

          As to the second paragraph, do you never tire of explaining China to others? What about me and my comments leads you to suppose I need instruction or explanations, e.g. “China has no working welfare system…”? You don’t say.

          • donscarletti

            Yeps my post was personally directed as an explanation to you, ScottLoar about how China works, based on my months of painstaking cross referencing and analysis of your posts, including textual analysis on the writing style to understand what you know, your mood, personality and to build up a huge and detailed assessment of you and things I have concluded that you don’t know.

            I had files and files of this research, all carefully collated and arranged, tirelessly preparing to educate you on new and exciting things. But it turns out my assessment was all completely wrong and my conclusions about your interests and the gaps in your knowledge were off the mark completely. I’m just going to throw out my moths of research and start again.

            If only I was just casually speculating amongst strangers about why Chinese parents and impressionable girls act in the way you described in your post, it would have been far less embarrassing for both of us.

          • ScottLoar

            “Despite the pressure, her mother would rather have a sad but filial spinster daughter than have a happily married daughter, a successful son in law and healthy grandchildren in another city.”

            Donnie, you don’t know what the hell you’re talkin’ about. The girl was not Shanghainese (you assumed so), the parents from the hinterlands were so concerned that they introduced three prospects to her in the course of two weeks, which with my examples elsewhere puts the lie to your assumption that the parents would not want marriage, success, and money for their daughter in another city. Donnie, paste and copy for translation: 不孝有三無後為大. Although from The Analects this Chinese axiom has great hold to the present, just ask any three or four mainland Chinese around you (even the a-yi will do) for explanation, they’ll surely know and understand it.

            You assume and presume to what would constitute embarrassment had you any sense of self-respect or understanding of what-you-don’t-know (that is called “humility” Donnie).

          • donscarletti

            I wish I could claim I was trolling you in the first place and you’re now fuming at the arrogance of stranger.

            I know what 不孝有三, 无后为大 means, it’s actually from Mencius (孟子) though, not from The Analects. I just personally think there is more self-interest involved these days than Confucian principle that one must have offspring to fulfil one’s duty to one’s ancestors. If you disagree, then I respect that.

          • ScottLoar

            Damn, you’re right, it is The Mencius; I approach The Analects from a vale of tears because my teachers were all martinets. Nevertheless, the axiom holds true among almost all Chinese.

            I can offer only the slightest reciprocity for your respect: I’ll hesitate and with some little courtesy before answering you.

      • don mario

        soloution to this problem :OLD PEOPLE GET HOBBYS.

        • ScottLoar

          Unfortunately the hobby of most old women is nagging the husband.

  • mr.wiener

    Marriage has always been more about security and money in China [and Asia], This is changing in that people are uncomfortably in seeing this expressed so openly.
    That said, all I was thinking was “Piss off granny”.

  • donscarletti

    I saw this ad a few days ago with my girlfriend. She became extremely angry after watching it, I suspect she was not the only one. My guess is that this ad will backfire somewhat, as it alienates a lot of its potential market for not much gain. The women who are likely to get married for their grandmother are likely to be the ones willing to marry the loser son of the women her mother plays majiang with and don’t need Baihe. The educated, city women who want husbands and are willing to pay for them are just going to be enraged and reject this.

  • North-eastern

    I hate going to weddings and celebrating festivals. Old folks, pointing at other couples, ask me “When is your turn?”. They stopped doing that when I started going to the funerals, pointing at the coffins, asking them the same question.

    True story!!

    • whuddyasack

      I know that experience. But old folks will always be old folks. It’s always sort of embarrassing but in my experience the aunts are even worse. When I was younger, I’d always remember how they’d fawn over me getting bigger and when I finally got taller than them, they’d always be asking whether I already had a girlfriend. ;-P

      • FYIADragoon

        That isn’t just something that Chinese culture has either. I remember being regularly hassled at family gatherings in America about dating status.

        • whuddyasack

          Hahaha true that. Are you Asian American?

          • Zappa Frank

            I think this happen everywhere regardless of your ethnicity. It was the same from 14years old even in my family. But they did not mean I should get married soon…and even during wedding that “when is your turn?” was merely a joke.

          • FYIADragoon

            No, non-Asian. I just focused on networking and career development from high school onwards. At least if you’re a male, you’re bothered about dating just as regularly in American culture. Focusing on my career prospects in early life paid dividends over the alternative though. Don’t see anyone else in the family making 6 figures USD before 30.

          • Rick in China

            I’m Canadian – and I don’t think my Mom or Dad asked me a single time if I’m seeing anyone or how my girlfriend at the times were doing. Ever. They don’t really give a shit, nor did rest of the family, just kinda let me go about my business, I wouldn’t go so far as to say that sort of thing is “culture” just some specific families are more involved in that regard than others.

            27yrs for me to breach that ‘achievement’, from within China no doubt..

          • ex-expat

            Same here, though I am American. If they asked, it would just be to make conversation. Though in the US, Canada, and other immigrant countries, I imagine some of it may have to do with the family’s ethnic/nationality origins?

        • Mister.Y

          I’m Canadian. My family never pressured me into getting married (I’m not btw), but imagine their face when I told them I don’t want kids and will make sure I won’t have any.

    • Germandude

      That must be the eldest fairytale in internet’s history. You must be the 25th person that I heard this to be a “True story!!!” since I first heard it approx. 15 years ago…

      • Sleepy

        Jokes are usually told in the first person no matter how many times you’ve heard it.

        • Germandude

          Ah, I must’ve imagined the “True story!” bullshit at the end of his post. ‘scuse me

    • They call me “Laowei”

      A 5000 year old story

    • linette lee

      hahahahahahaha….lol That is a good one.

  • FYIADragoon

    Well, at least for the case of childbirth, I can understand some of the desire to have the women marry sooner than later. As complications tend to heavily increase past their 30s, and it is therefore a tad irresponsible to postpone births until then. But, fresh out of college and already pressuring them to marry makes no sense. Around 26-27 you could maybe start bugging them.

    • ScottLoar

      There is a biological imperative that human beings reproduce, and in some cultures like Chinese or Indian or agrarian as examples, that imperative when not obeyed becomes the focus of all concerned except the hapless ones who don’t want to get married other than by their own choice.

  • ScottLoar

    Ah, yes, I do know that. Really, I do. Ah, why did you suppose I didn’t? My example was one of filial piety and the need for a mother to show off her kid no matter the distance to prove she’s done her duty.

  • Zappa Frank

    What’s new about this? There is a market in people’s square for that.. You can go there and “buy” a husband or a wife as well.

    • ScottLoar

      Really? I live 8 minutes’ walking distance from People’s Square, it’s part of my neighborhood for the last 13 years, and I didn’t know you can buy a wife or husband there. Please, do tell. And, tell me in what part of People’s Square is this “market”. Yeah, I’ll ask my Chinese friends as well to identify the “market” for husbands and wives. Very odd that it has escaped me, a local, so many years.

      • Zappa Frank

        Never been in people’s square on Sunday than?
        Oh but if you play your little game basing it on my meaning of “buy” than, for your guidance, it is not to take literally.

        • ScottLoar

          I play no little games. State the time and place that you would meet me in Shanghai after 13 March and I will be there to call your bluff. I will enter that place and state in Chinese and English one sentence and one question; you will understand. If not state the Romance language and I speak the same sentence and question.

          I have offered this once before here to a poster but no result. Let’s see what you do.

          • Zappa Frank

            I’ ve no idea where I will be after 13th march. Can you state sentence and question now? Have you been in people’s square? Yes? Is it a normal square or some people gather there to do something? Do you want to argue about the way I’ve called it? “Market”? Or something else? What is your point?

          • ScottLoar

            The point is

            1) I know People’s Square in Shanghai, I live 8 minutes walking distance away, I’ve been there hundreds of times;
            2) I know of no market for potential husbands and wives, only posting of person’s vital statistics for all to see;
            3) like others you fall back when challenged to prove your point outside this forum.

            If you were to meet me you would immediately identify me by the sentence and question I would say out loud in a public place, your choice of Romance language or English, and Mandarin as well.

          • mr.wiener

            Sounds like a mandate. Beers and sports afterwards?

          • ScottLoar

            I don’t drink beer (bloats me up) nor care for sports; most jocks are silly.

          • nickhz

            that is my favorite thing i’ve heard all day… i cant help but read it and hear a womans voice… “beer bloats me and joks are silly” i think there is a sex in the city marathon on tonight. we, should meet up…. i know where you live now

          • ScottLoar

            Nickhz, you have no idea of the countries where I live, and the word is “jocks”; “joks” are what passes in your mind as humour.

          • nickhz

            im aware of the word… im also aware of human error while typing…. and as far as the countries you live in… didnt you just say you live 8 minutes from peoples square? maybe you should go have a beer and relax…. deal with the bloating later

          • ScottLoar

            Nickhz, some people live in multiple places in different countries, outside the realm of your experience perhaps, but with effort you can grasp the idea.

            Judging from your few posts here I doubt man or woman would want to meet up with you so stop barking up trees.

          • nickhz

            wow you really think you are special…. it’s quite amazing…. have a good day…. wherever you are….

          • moop

            you really are the most unpleasant and miserable person (in attitude not as a human being) on this site. even the trolls are more tolerable.

            you’re obviously intelligent but are so thin-skinned and humourless that engaging you in any way is fruitless and reading your asperger posts makes one cringe

          • Rick in China

            How dare you point out the obvious! Meet me any place any time IRL preferably one with toilets that have holes in the walls, and let me whisper romance languages thru the walls.

            Really though, nice call out and ‘aspergers posts’, awesome.

          • ScottLoar

            Your overall absence has improved the site. It was not long ago that the constant posts of you and your buddies prompted the general audience to ask the host to clean up the site. Yes, Mope, you.

            The first time I commented on one of your posts, an innocuous comment related to the flooding in Beijing where you were, you replied with enough venom to wither a city saying you didn’t care about the situation in other places because (and typically) it didn’t affect you.

            Say, didn’t you ever learn punctuation in school? Mope, try for deeper expression than text messaging and twitter.

          • moop

            “Your overall absence has improved the site.” not so sure about that, if anything the posts are more boring and the views expressed less diverse. the number of posts is also down. but i could care less about that. i could, however, make a comeback just for you. would you like that, old friend?

            “Say, didn’t you ever learn punctuation in school?” good one, i bet that was a real hit at the malt shoppe. boy oh boy, what a gas!

          • mr.wiener

            Panamanian Rum , cigars and scrabble? Red wine and some live theatre?

          • ScottLoar

            Macallan 12-year, cheroots, and a strip club, but I do attend RAS lectures.

          • mr.wiener

            Laphroaig, cohiba siglo 1s and a lap dance. Not a bad waste of an afternoon

          • ScottLoar

            And so simple are our pleasures. I can’t understand why wives, girlfriends and both deny us these simple pleasures.

          • Zappa Frank

            You really usually invite people to meet you to prove some points that we leisurely write on this blog? And you really do an ambush like the one you describe to prove who you are? And you think this is normal?
            People there show their sons, daughters or whatever details, age, income, study title and so on.. Some even pictures. Now please tell me that your point is not to complain because I’ve called it a “market”… It was not serious obviously.

            I’m still waiting to know what you really want to tell me loud in a public place…

            You already told me in all three of your posts where you live, i got it, you don’t need to say it again really., except if you enjoy it

          • ScottLoar

            You’re silly. You state, then retract, and when I call you on it you retreat. Normalcy? I don’t think it’s within your parameters. Ambush? How can I “ambush” you by stating who I am at your place and convenience? I’m not going to hurt you, I willing to place myself at your place and convenience to show you don’t know what you’re talking about.

          • Zappa Frank

            I’ve read your intentions for the first post. For some strange and unknown reason you felt somehow pissed off by the use of the words “buy” and “market”. It was clear to anyone my meaning, or did you really think that I meant you go there to pay and buy a husband or wife, maybe packaged in a box? But you had to perform this show, for what? I hope you enjoyed it.

          • ScottLoar

            I understand English is not your native tongue, and your expression is quite good, but understand you are judged by the words you use. Also, look up the word “cavil”, which is what you continue to do.

          • Zappa Frank

            I wonder than why other people understood.
            Cavil is your word, since it is you that cavil taking literally and misjudging the meaning of what I wrote.
            Tell me, you really thought that my meaning was that you can literally “buy” a husband or a wife?

          • ScottLoar

            You are what the Dutch call “Mierenneuken”, and have become a bore.

          • Zappa Frank

            Hahaha, this is a weak reply. If I have become a bore you may even stop to reply. You started this all by yourself. You are what the Italians call “quaquaraqua’”.

          • ScottLoar

            A word that neatly describes yourself, endless quacking but to no end.

            And that’s it. No more will I reply to you, not in courtesy or explanation.

          • Zappa Frank

            You are pathetic, you can not even recognize yourself in that description? You are the one quacking endlessly all the way here.. Did you maybe think to be a white knight in need to defend the honor of china against imaginary dragons or something? I think you are just an elaborate troll who like to bully others giving your continuous arrogance and totally lack of courtesy. Tell me, what was the purpose of your first reply? Did you really understand that I believed that in people’s square you can literally buy a husband or a wife? I’m still waiting to know that. Or you think that in the storm of your nonsense I’ve forgotten what we were talking about? But if you want to reply writing that you live 8 minutes from people’s square or that you will tell me something loud in Chinese English or another Romance language it is ok as well, you seem to enjoy it so much.
            Yes I think I’ll cry without your reply. I suspect more people would enjoy if you stop to reply them as well considering the way you usually reply.

          • Kai

            Not sure why this discussion degenerated into this. The notion of parents gathering in a place to post or share information about their kids in order to solicit possible matches as a “market” is pretty common in Chinese pop culture. It features as a trope in a lot of modern serial comedies like the one with the girl who had bruised thighs that was posted on cS a while ago.

            EDIT: So yeah, after your subsequent comments including http://www.chinasmack.com/2014/videos/chinese-dating-site-tv-ad-promotes-being-forced-into-marriage.html#comment-1236545907 I’m also confused about the crux of the disagreement here.

          • Zappa Frank

            Apparently, according to my wife, call it a market is a lack of respect for Chinese culture since I’m a foreigner. She got crazy about this. I think that this may be what pissed off Scott, if he is an abc like I suppose.

          • Kai

            Really? I suppose there are ways a foreigner can remark about the phenomenon in a condescending or offensive manner (I dunno, add some sneers?), but simply referring to it as a “market” never struck me as being particularly offensive. Local Chinese around me all seem fine with characterizing the 爱情市场 for what it is.

            I have no idea what ethnic identity Scott is and I’m not sure it matters. I do think he overreacted though and I’m not really sure why.

          • Zappa Frank

            Anyway, i just wanted to do a stupid joke, if i have offended anyone i apologize.
            About the market thing, i was told that is not respectful for the old parents there, that are trying hard to find a match for their sons/daughters..sometime the same thing if is done by a native or by a foreigner is not the same, i can understand this.
            p.s. it’s not that i talked about this with her, just she happened to pass on this site and looked what i’ve written.

          • ScottLoar

            I well know it is common that parents post information in public place looking for a match for their kid; I referenced so at least three times before the comment about “market” which I mistakenly took literally (I had previous experience of the poster). I also referenced tv programs with girls and their moms interviewing young men, and young and youngish men interviewing girls; it was all there for anyone to read.

            The crux of the disagreement is obviously not the subject but the poster.

          • Kai

            Sorry for my mistake. I previously wrote “subsequent” comments when they are in fact earlier comments as you say. I think I clicked a link that brought me directly to your reply to ZF and because Disqus loads that discussion thread at the top in this situation, I ended up reading your other (earlier) comments lower on the page, mistaking them for being “subsequent” in terms of chronology.

            To the extent that affected my confusion about your disagreement, that’s my bad. While I wasn’t previously aware of you having any persisting antagonism with ZF, I now understand better what happened here.

            I’m wondering if you would’ve avoided a lot of the dogpiling you got if you had immediately explained you mistakenly interpreted him literally in this early reply to him instead of challenging him to meet in person.

          • ScottLoar

            Yes, you are correct in hindsight, but I did not understand he intended “buy” and “market” figuratively (I’ve said so twice now), and his added comments about playing games fueled the fire. Again, the antagonism was between two posters, and I’ll not comment to him again or about this more.

          • Germandude

            Zappa Frank is right though. Any sunny day with decent weather, in one section of the park, close to “Barbarosa”, the trees are full of wallpapers with pictures and profiles of boys&girls, hung up there by their parents, to show to potential partners. These women are talking with each other (if interested) and set up blind dates.

            I am sure Zappa Frank doesn’t mean market as in “buy lifetime partners”, but it’s coming close to that.

          • ScottLoar

            See my comment to his post. Most young Chinese, especially post-90s, hate the interference of their parents in matters of dating and marriage. What you’re seeing in People’s Square in Shanghai on Sunday is old folks trying to do their best for sons and daughters – and failing, the same as when those old folks attend job and higher education forums, or telephone employers wanting to know why you’ve treated their son or daughter so badly. With an only child these parents not only want the best for 寶寶, they also want to live vicariously through them to justify the tedium of most of their own lives.

          • Germandude

            Ok, so that’s the thing I mean as well and I am sure Zappa Frank meant the same. Sometimes it’s a bit confusing with non-native speakers, I am sure I got Zappa’s meaning of the initial post immediately, especially because the “buy”was in ” ” and doesn’t actually mean buying a partner, but advertising, exchanging info etc. like in a buying/sales process.
            Puh, I hope I made myself clear and didn’t confuse further/misinterpreted Zappa myself ;-)

          • Zappa Frank

            I think is clear for anyone except for him

          • ScottLoar

            I’ve explained ad nauseum.

          • donscarletti

            Just in the way that a young man going to a job interview would be advised by his father or other mentor that he has to “sell himself”, doesn’t mean he is literally selling himself into bonded servitude.

          • ScottLoar

            Whenever my expression is vague or vocabulary open to doubt please tell me.

          • Germandude

            Ok will do. First I use a dictionary however in case I am just missing a word. It’s actually more difficult with proverbs as they are often not translated 1to1.

          • don mario

            these people need to try the weixin look around feature… lol.

      • don mario

        for real? its in peoples park at the weekend. they have pieces of paper all hung up with photos and details of the people on offer.

        • ScottLoar

          See my previous post below, 2).

  • mr.wiener

    I kept telling my mother in law i was shooting blanks, she responded by bringing around bags of cooked chicken nuts and ginseng…quite tasty it was too!

    • ScottLoar

      But to hear the behind-the-back comments, e.g. “everyone knows foreigners are overly endowed but his is a problem”, “he looks okay but… maybe too much masturbation, foreigners are like that you know”, “look! how can they compare with we Chinese?” (rhetorical question) and finally, “ya’ know, he can’t satisfy a Chinese woman”, is more than you can bear and still bear up in a manly manner.

      • mr.wiener

        Yeah, I’ve heard all that stuff before, It doesn’t worry me as my mother outlaw….ehm…in law has done worse stuff than that. Before we were married she was having me followed by private detectives to prove that I’m a philandering bastard [very boring viewing it must have been for them too]. apparently she also paid some gangsters to beat me up , but gangsters apparently are very dishonest and took the money then didn’t do the job [plus the trouble that would happen if a foreigner got beat up].
        Anyway to cut a long story short my wife confronted her about 10 years ago and told her that it wasn’t that my little marines couldn’t take the beachhead, It was because she was worried that she’d turn into a crazy bitch like her [mother in-law] They didn’t talk for the next 7 years [which was awkward as we live on the same block] and finally 3 years ago she agreed to go to a shrink and start taking roofies and god knows what other anti depressant drugs.
        Life has been pretty cool since then, I can’t say i love her, but we seem to get on ok now.
        Sorry about the long story.

        • ScottLoar

          Ha! My father-in-law was a graduate of the 16th class of Whampoa Military Academy who dismissed my letter in Chinese (mind, that was almost 40 years ago) with the comment “Grade school.” The mom was fine and remains so (born in the reign of Yuan Shikai), the brothers fine and remain so, but it took 20+ years before the older sister would accept me; now she seeks out my company for bread and carnival in public places – we have similar personality.

          • mr.wiener

            Is she a grumpy elitist? :)

          • ScottLoar

            Liked by both men and women (and that is no mean thing) my wife is what all see and immediately recognize, a 台灣大小姐.

            No further explanation needed.

        • don mario

          feel sorry for u bro….

          that’s a hell nobody deserves!

          • mr.wiener

            It was a hell, but things are cool now, The Mother in law is actually happy now, wife is happy , biznez is good and the mortgage is nearly paid off and I can actually look back at this and laugh.

        • Kai

          Wow, that’s pretty whack.

          • mr.wiener

            Water under the bridge now. It is amusing when ever I find one of the telescopic batons, oversized bike locks, cans of mace and tasers I bought at the time just in case i got attacked by some gangster :)

        • David

          Interesting.

        • the ace of books

          She sounds like a real piece of work – glad that’s gotten better over time.

        • lonetrey / Dan

          I love the insight towards your life experiences, it’s pretty interesting to me, thank you for sharing! :)

          • mr.wiener

            S’alright.

  • DavidisDawei

    I wonder what Grandma would have said if she walked in at the end with a foreigner?
    Does China have a version of SNL (Saturday Night Live)?
    They can spoof this commercial and have her walk in with a black guy at the end and have Grandma’s machine flat line.

    • moop

      No, i shudder to think how unfunny it would be. korea has its own version of snl, but its not that great

      • chosan

        According again to Asian Nation, a study by Shinagawa and Pang found that:

        With the exception of U.S.-raised Korean women, all other Asian ethnic groups and husbands and wives are also more likely to marry another Asian (either within their own ethnic group or some other Asian ethnic group) than to marry a White person.

        • mr.wiener

          Ummm…..that’s cool?

        • Gordon Gogodancer

          is that surprising? As my good old Mongol classmate said to me back in Beijing in 2008 as he realised a Mongol girl friend of his had the hots for me: ” Mongol men only like Mongol women, and Mongol women only like Mongol men” as his Mongol girl friend had her eyes down in submission. To this i replied that truth that most of you know.

          • chosan

            mongols are cool. but my realization is Koreans are likely to be in the taking “black guy home to grandma”, than other asian groups. Again Koreans will probably extinct before anyone else is due to both the north korea situation and korean women being taken away in droves by non-asian guys

          • Gordon Gogodancer

            oh yes they are cool indeed, and very opened minded as i implied in my previous comment

          • midnightbrewer

            Yeah, that’s not a thing.

        • Germandude

          No shit Einstein. You needed to find a study on the obvious to regain your confidence? Not the brightest person, huh, chosan?

          Hold on, you are that chosan, that warned me about Germany being overrun by Turks and I should better be worrying about that as well. Seems like you are fighting a simple insecurity complex, but hey, that’s cool with me. Go on.

        • Dick Leigh

          Quel shock. You know, white people are statistically likely to marry other white people.

        • midnightbrewer

          Actually, the great majority of people are likely to marry someone who lives close to them.

      • mr.wiener

        MOOP! How’ve you been mate, long time no post. What are you doing?

        • moop

          Just lots of work and some side projects as well as travel for work. Mother in law, niece and nephew finally out of the house. Other than that nothing much. Watching the kroll show with the wifey. How are you buddy?

          • mr.wiener

            Been great, shoulder is healed, ankle is healed, playing rugby again and making money off the biznez.

            Here is a blog you will like by a horrible and funny Australian man called David Thorne.

            http://www.27bslash6.com/index.html

            Enjoy!

    • CheddyZeddy

      It would be more funny if she walks in with those washed up wasted white guys who come to china to teach English. The grandma’s machine would flat line.

      • Claude

        Washed up white men are the least of those families problems when the bottom falls out of the economy. We will watch relativity comfortable families hit hard times. In-fact, the washed up white men will be the daughters savors. They will be the ticket out of China for many and the couple will sponsor family members so the daughter won’t have to be alone in the west.

        The washed up white male is the best thing that could happen for many Chinese families.

      • Dick Leigh

        It’s kinda hard to do anything in China BUT teach though.

        • midnightbrewer

          Not true. A friend of mine worked over there for several years as a sys admin for Blizzard Entertainment. It’s hard for people with no applicable skills to do anything but teach.

          • Dick Leigh

            Your friend works for a multi-billion dollar company, hardly a good example of the average guy. Fact is, it’s hard to work in China simply because you have to get invited. Easy enough if you work for a Western company with Chinese operations, but hard for most people.

            The reason it’s so easy to teach is the multitude of shady companies that’ll handle getting a work visa for you while you’re a tourist. Western companies don’t usually so this because of legality reasons, but a lot of English schools don’t have a problem because they’re Chinese owned, have a bit of guanxi and the police won’t touch them.

            Of course, if you have guanxi, getting a work permit is as simple as asking the right person. Like everything else in China, it all depends on who you know.

          • Probotector

            You’re right, and these guys are morons who believe that because we all come from a more developed country than China, we must all be rich and have business connections. This is the general attitude of the Chinese as well, but think about it, apart from “going into business” (which some of us are either not cut out for or not interested in) what else is there to do except teach?

          • midnightbrewer

            I work and live in Japan (13 years now). It’s exactly the same situation. The main issue is that it’s hard to get a job from overseas that lands you in a particular country, but once you’re there, there are plenty of opportunities to move out of education. If you have some applicable skill, that is. Most people don’t and would rather coast, anyway.

          • Dick Leigh

            Your visa is tied to your employer so if you quit your job you lose your visa. If you want to work with another employer, your current employer needs to cancel your visa, and give a letter of release to your new employer who needs to assign you another visa.

            It’s very very discriminatory to foreigners, and there’s lots problems that can crop up during this process like the fact that employers frequently change your visa status without your knowledge, if this happens (for example, they cancel your visa and shift it to a tourist visa) you need to leave and re-enter to country.

            You can, of course, get a Chinese Green Card, but good lucking getting one of those because only a few thousand are issued every year (and despite supposedly replacing passports, most will be refused and a passport will be asked for because officials don’t even know the card exists).

          • midnightbrewer

            That’s a strawmam argument. We were talking about jobs available to foreigners. Dirty employers exploiting foreign labor unable to defend itself and unaware of its rights is hardly specific to China. That’s a universal problem. And regardless of the country, employers don’t have the ability to change employee visa status willy-nilly. At the very least because it would actually cost them money to do so, assuming they had the clout in the first place. As you pointed out, all they actually have to do is fire you.

            My native country, the US, is one of the worst abusers of foreign labor and visas.

  • Vlogger130

    Only twisted chinese thinking would say that being forced into a marriage is love.

  • loki

    Marriage?

    King Leonidas: Well that’s a bit of a problem. See, rumor has it the Athenians have already turned you down, and if those philosophers and, uh, boy-lovers have found that kind of nerve, then…

    Theron: We must be diplomatic.

    King Leonidas: [ignoring Theron] … and, of course, Spartans have their reputation to consider.

    • Boris_Da_Bengal_Tiger

      I thought Spartans were also boy lovers?

      • mr.wiener

        It was a masculine thing at the time, they all did it.

        • Boris_Da_Bengal_Tiger

          It still is in Russia… :P

      • loki

        missing the point… *SIGH*

        • Boris_Da_Bengal_Tiger

          I didn’t miss the point. I was just saying, that’s all.

  • masonman

    Still better than dating American women? Still better than dating American women.

  • MidniteOwl

    oh how the old generation is so silly lol.

  • don mario

    why don’t chinese kids learn to stand up to their parent’s?

    yea they keep moaning and telling them to marry.. big deal, just ignore it. dont visit them. what are they gonna do? eventually they will just get bored.

    like the old chinese bitch that knocked on my door once when she wanted to complain to me about something. i didn’t answer so she kept knocking for 30 minutes. i watched a movie, she eventually pissed off. these parents will give up eventually if they don’t give them anything to work with.

    if those fail you could just tell them to butt out or you wont be paying them jack shit when they are in their old age and relying on you for money..

  • linette lee

    “I can’t be picky anymore”

    Hahaha..lol retarded. For most people they really shouldn’t get marry before 25yr old. They are still too young they haven’t experienced life enough yet. You need to go to school, work in the real world, travel a bit, date few people, then maybe you will realize what you want in life. 25 is still too young. You end up getting divorce. Also even though you are dating few people, you really should not be sleeping around with them or live with them. That is a BIG MISTAKE. I see so many girls doing that. If you do that you will never get marry. Most men prefer just to live with you and not get marry.

    • loki

      you should change all of the “you” to “I”…

      • linette lee

        No..really. ALL GIRLS Should understand this and protect themselves.

        • the ace of books

          And men shouldn’t? There’s male and female vultures alike…

          • Gordon Gogodancer

            everyone not being offended so easily would help

        • loki

          no seriously try it … it would sound like this …

          I need to go to school, work in the real world, travel a bit, date few people, then maybe you will realize what I want in life. 25 is still too young. I end up getting divorce. Also even though I am dating few people, I really should not be sleeping around with them or live with them. That is a BIG MISTAKE. I see so many girls doing that. If I do that I will never get marry. Most men prefer just to live with me and not get marry.

          • Zappa Frank

            In this way has more sense….

    • Zappa Frank

      why to have sex before marriage is a big mistake? if this is the meaning of “sleeping with someone”. And why because of that you will never get marry?

      • linette lee

        Sleeping around before and after marriage is just as bad. Do you want your own young daughter to sleep with many men before marriage? Same thing right. Better yet how about not sleeping around before commitment.

        • Zappa Frank

          but you really thing that your daughter should not have sex with no one before marriage? i mean, if you intend that you don’t want your daughter be an easy girl, it is ok, i understand that, i don’t think anyone would like to have an easy girl as daughter…maybe we have a different idea about what is “many” and eventually your or my daughter will have another idea about the quantity implied in the word “many”… but the core of that idea is the same.
          If you really mean no sex before marriage than i don’t think is even possible to do anything about this, because if she wants to she will have sex no matter what…(unless you live in an arab country maybe)..
          However i find unlikely that for this reason she will not be able to get married (unless, again, she live in a kind of country that take the virginity very seriously…in case of my daughter is not possible because i would never live there). If you mean that having sex around she may give less value to marriage this is something i don’t know, i suspect may be true, but i don’t think is that negative, i would prefer a daughter not married than a daughter that thinks to live a walt disney’s story. But that is just my persona vision.

          • linette lee

            Well, I believe you should love first before have sex. A lot of people have sex without love that is the problem. Do you truly understand what is love? Many people don’t.
            Love is commitment. When you love a person that person is part of your life you cannot do without. Like your family or your other half. If a man truly love you he will be committed to you. He will see you as the other half part of his life now and his future. That is commitment and true love is commitment. Marriage is commitment. If a man sleep with you but tells you he doesn’t want to get marry or have commitment with you, what is that telling you?

            So this is from me to all you girls out there:

            If a man tells you he loves you but he is not the marrying type. That is telling you he is not the committing type. He is not committed to you and love is commitment. Sooooo he doesn’t know what love is and he doesn’t really love you.
            You should move on and go out there to find a man who will love you. A man that loves you will commit to you. You are his present and future. Someone he can’t do without in his life. That is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with and have sex with. Because sex should be done out of love.

          • the ace of books

            This is an idealistic oversimplification that doesn’t take into account the other reasons people would live together. If you don’t test-drive a marriage, how are you going to deal with back-breaking troubles knowing you’re contractually tied to and “morally” obligated to this person for the rest of your life? If you don’t have the ability to choose to walk away, how is that commitment? Commitment is choice, not contract.

            Let me note also that sleeping around before and after marriage are completely different: one’s contractually forbidden, the other’s a personal choice. The consequences, both societally and personally, are different.

            Finally, I barely need to ask it, but: if you turn this around and ask the same question for men, will your answer be different?

          • linette lee

            Living together and ” test-drive a marriage” Tell that to your own daughter. It’s your choice to teach your own daughter to “test drive” with men before marriage. Please don’t tell that to other young girls. Don’t tell that to women if you wouldn’t tell that to your own daughter.

            You can get to know a person without living together. You will get to meet all her family and friends. Know all the gossips. All her likes and dislikes and habit down to her ingrown toenails without moving into her bedroom.

          • Zappa Frank

            Than virgin until marriage eh.. Linette you really think you will be the only one to influence your daughter? Is your position realistic in today’s society? The outcome of doing this may be to get the opposite behind your back.

          • linette lee

            ” virgin until marriage” uh…that’s hard to do.
            I am not saying sex is bad. But don’t go sleeping around with boyfriends. Should be a potential husband and he and his family sees you as his future wife. That means a very very serious relationship.

          • Zappa Frank

            Linette, you make it seems as just men cheat girls.Girls don’t have sex without love? Only men? Do you really live in USA? i really think that if this is your vision you should not rise your kids in USA or maybe you should rise them in the Utah..
            What’s wrong in sex? even if is done with someone that you will not marry? Does it harm? Does it make girls “impure”? Do you really think that all girls have sex thinking they will marry that man?
            besides, how do you know, when you first have sex..in the worse case around 20… that you’ll marry her/him? Or you think that the urge to have sex is just a man’s thing, girls don’t care about sex and do it only to make their men happy?
            why do girls have to look for a man that loves them? should not they look for a man that THEY love? Or do their feelings are not important?

          • linette lee

            Sex is not a bad thing. Sex without love then go for a prostitute. Those men should go for prostitutes. Why get a girlfriend?

            Love and commitment goes hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. You can’t have love without commitment.

            Why insist on telling girls is ok to have sex without love?
            Many women want love along with sex. Many men on the other hand want sex with or without love. Seems like men and women have different priority. I have to say women are more likely can do without sex in a love relationship. They don’t care as much as men. Women are emotional animal. Men are physical. And of course both men and women should look for someone that they love.

    • hess

      “Also even though you are dating few people, you really should not be sleeping around with them or live with them. That is a BIG MISTAKE.” That’s the dumbest shit I’ve read in a long time, marrying someone you’ve never lived with? Good luck have fun.

      • linette lee

        What makes you think just because you live with someone you will know that person? And what makes you think just because you don’t live with a person you don’t know that person? You can know her most private life and all her friends, family, likes and dislikes, and habits without living with her. In the old days man that has ten wives living with them he doesn’t even know the names of all his wives.

    • donscarletti

      No, men prefer not to live with women OR get married.

      Women often think:
      “Wouldn’t he be so much happier to come home to me after work, rather than his silly beer, porn, sports and video games?”

      The answer is, no, not really.

      • linette lee

        ‘his silly beer, porn, sports and video games”

        hahahaa….yes yes. That is exactly true. lol. Those are another type of men women who are looking for serious relationship that will lead to commitment should stay away from. Really what I am trying to say is good women don’t date men that can’t commit because these men can not love. These men just want free sex, beer, porn, sports, and video games. Not love or commitment. Can’t build a future a family with them. lol.

        • donscarletti

          The other options are:
          - Workaholics who you never see.
          - Ladies men, who will fuck you once and leave.
          - Homosexuals.

          Men who like beer, porn, sports and video games are the settled,
          domestic types who make the best husbands, since all of their enjoyments
          can be had on the couch.

  • Boris_Da_Bengal_Tiger

    thats why the pants have holes. Even in bloody winter.

  • Zappa Frank

    now seems that i’m the first and only one that ever called it a “market”..

    do yourself a favor and google “singles market, people’s square, shanghai”. Or any combination you prefer..

    for the rest read what i’ve written till now, i’m not in the mood for another guy who just want to polemicize on nothing. I hope you, like scott, enjoy it.

  • Rick in China

    It’s so ironic.

    “Because of love, do not wait” – yet the whole purpose of the ad is not to FIND LOVE, but “I can not wait” and “I’ve gotten married”! It’s to get hitched. With whom doesn’t matter, apparently. Netizens who condemn this bullshit commercial are absolutely right, it’s backwards peasant thinking. When you get married you shouldn’t be exclaiming “I’ve gotten married”, you should be exclaiming something about how you’ve found someone who makes you feel complete or some shit like that, the marriage part is just a formality.

    • the ace of books

      IA. To add to this, I’d switch the slogan to “for love, you really should wait”, or maybe “because your grandma said is isn’t a good reason”.

      In serious: grandma’s blind focus on the achievement of marriage, rather than on the granddaughter’s emotional well-being, is rather disturbing. I do like the netizen comment about marriage being “love and economics”, since I figure it can be true in a non-cynical way: they’re both things one needs to think of if one’s going to spend a significant length of time contractually tied to a person, and ignoring either is just plain stupid. That’s what’s screwed-up here: Grandma’s blind insistence on the contract without considering the contents or reading the fine print.

  • Marcus Black

    There is no such thing as “Love” when it comes to marriage in China. It’s all about money and making connections.

    • Germandude
    • the ace of books

      Note the very first comment: “The foundation for a marriage is economics and love, and every marriage without these two points will only end in tragedy.” Love is clearly important to people – but economics takes higher priority in people’s considerations than it generally does in the West.

      (For more on this, see also: the difference in marital expectations between developed and developing countries, and the difference in divorce rates among the same. If you can afford to base your marriage contract on emotions, you’re already pretty well-off.)

  • xiaode

    are you guys all together not able to use google?

    http://lmgtfy.com/?q=shanghai+wedding+market

    There is a wedding market and yes, this place have to be called a “market”!

    I can recommend the “Donnie does Marriage Market” video on youtube… if you want to see more about this!

    I can´t believe people here discuss and argue about this for hours before using google…

    edit: for everyone without VPN:

    http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTQ5MDc0OTg4.html

  • Irvin

    When grandma say “married yet” the girl should say “dead yet?”.

    • Gordon Gogodancer

      haha

  • The FRED FONG

    Selling your vagina to the highest bidder is not easy

    • YourSupremeCommander

      There’s this vagina in HK that they are trying to give away for billions of dollars.

  • Surfeit

    A corporate propaganda campaign using emotional blackmail and acting on traditional beliefs. Excellent. Anyone stupid enough not to see this, will probably get married for the wrong reasons anyway.

    I do love the advertisement though. There’s something satisfying about watching an idiot’s self-respect being washed away so easily. Just another nutter off the market in my eyes.

  • Gordon Gogodancer

    Yes granny you are so wise and old. You spent your youth in an time when people didn’t need brains and probably beat up or killed a lot of educated people or random strangers in a fanatic senseless rage but you are so wise and old! i will listen to your wisdom about men! oh look at my look of pure admiration of your wisdom! You are so right granny! Why wait and find someone who actually loves me? Let’s just get married with the first guy pressured into marriage as i am and live a life of total misery and by the time i’m 30 and have a cute little baobao i’ll just feel like shagging a few laowais to try and live the youth i didn’t live. Ô granny you are so wise and old! Those foreigners couldn’t probably understand your wisdom because they don’t have 5000 years of culture now do they? Oh no they don’t! They can’t understand what “ture love” is, like we do! Wise and old granny! Who cares for education and seeing the world when my first boyfriend will pretty much be my last. Ô wise and old granny!

  • the ace of books

    Interesting to see that, despite the idiocy of the commercial, the majority of comments are vehemently against this practice. I’m curious to see, thirty years down the line, what these folks will be telling their children – whether they’ll remember this behavior as an irritation and refuse to treat their children that way, or whether they’ll concern themselves with what the child can produce and how that reflects upon them more than with the child’s own preferences.

    This is one of the things about China that does irritate me: the blind assumption – even acceptance of it as fact – that without marriage and a baby, a woman is nothing. Men get it too, but when you get commercials like this, where the girl’s walking around with her freakin diploma, and all the grandmother can do is whinge about her not being married – well, that shows real clear what the priorities are, and how little respect is afforded to non-childbearing achievements.

    Last year, I was at a friend’s in Shandong for New Year, and she had a cousin who was getting so badgered about his marital non-status that we nicknamed him “Poor Guy”. Poor Guy was getting it from every side – mother, aunt, grandmother, other grandmother, other aunt, etc etc. I wonder whether they’ve gotten him yet?

  • Pingback: Nothing Says 'Love' Like An Ad That Pressures Women To Marry | Kotaku Australia

  • CheddyZeddy

    Thank God i wasn’t born in mainland China.

    • YourSupremeCommander

      I know right, Haiti is that much better!

  • humans are hung bo

    She looks so nice in that photo – do you really want to gamble with her future and happiness by sticking her with just anybody?

    My great grandmother carried my mother for the first few years for her life because she said the world was too cruel to girls (my mother was born after the Japanese war in China) and so we had to be as nice to girls for as long as possible because who knew what the future held for them e.g. Dream of the Red Chamber’s ending.

  • mei mei

    uhm i can understand this…

  • Anon E Moose

    Oh please!

    Arranged marriages have been around since…. time immemorial.

    Marriage is an institution of economic & political advantage thru familial unity; nothing more.

    Marriages for love didn’t appear even in Europe until the 18th century

    Therefore this decadent western “custom” should be avoided at all cost like other corrupt & rotting Western practices like ‘Free’ speech, Rule of Law, Respect for individual “rights”, democracy and other foreign abominations.

    But not Western fast foods, Disneyland, Karaoke, and high-tech surveillance.

    Those are OK.

  • Pingback: “Are you married yet?” – Chinese ad attempts to guilt-trip young women into trying the knot | RocketNews24

  • Mike tyson

    “If she didn’t get married, her grandmother might live a little longer”

    lolol.

  • Wittie Indie

    Clarify.

  • DavidisDawei

    Hatred by the Chinese?

    • Wittie Indie

      Thanks for that insight. It’s sad that many of mainland China have this mindset. For some blacks, I agree they are not poor. It is wrong for a society to generalize a group of people. I believe as time goes on this will change.

  • midnightbrewer

    I’ve taught at a Japanese high school for the last twelve years and this commercial is geared towards its target audience. Most Asian countries that buy into the Confucianist notion of filial piety would find this ad appropriate and endearing. Even as a guy I’ve been pressured to get married for the sake of my unborn children.

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