A Shanghai Jiaotong University female’s views on marriage.
Author: Self-professed leader of the Jiaotong University football [soccer] cheerleading team.
I am a female student of Shanghai Jiaotong University. It’s my first time writing a post. Please don’t laugh at my bad writing.
Everyone has an ideal in life. Some wants to become a hero, some wants to become rich, some other desires to become a leader. So what about me? My greatest wish in life is to marry a Western1 man. Some might say I am very vulgar, or even a turncoat, but I am a very traditional girl. To me, the most important thing in life is marriage. There is a very trendy saying currently, that studying well is not as good as marrying well. Marrying the right man is more important than anything else.
Some might ask, “Are there not enough good men in China?” Sorry, I have not considered before. As for the reason, don’t be impatient. Sofa, stool, the floor, take your pick, and listen to this girl’s reasons one by one.
I. China does not have any men suitable for me.
I am a very distinct/outstanding girl. In terms of academics, I am studying at a famous university, have an excellent academic record, and I am not one who wears thick glasses or sticks her head into books like a high-IQ geek. I have an excellent figure, an amazing look and a cultivated style of conversation. I am the leader of the football [soccer] cheerleading team. I took part in the local beauty pageants many times. I also have an interest for music, dance and art. Additionally, I often write some gossips for the newspaper. In summary, I am an excellent girl in every aspect. But what kind of man should I marry? There are lots of boys who are pursuing me, and most of my friends have boyfriends as well.
But when they graduate, they either break up, or they start talking about marriage, about family matters and where to settle down. They talk so seriously about everything, expect for love which is the most important thing in a marriage. I am very passionate about my life, I wish to have both a excellent materialist and spiritual life. Sorry that I can’t find that on a Chinese man. Marry a schoolmate, eventually become a white collar in a company? Can that afford a house?
I want to have a huge living room, big enough to be like a small salon. I could be together with my friends talking about anything under the sun, savoring high quality wine. Even the bathroom must be big enough to fit in a large bathtub, for two people, so I can put on some gentle music and spend a romantic night with my beloved husband.
Also, the guy I marry must at least have enough money to buy a car, right? Or am I supposed to go to work by bus everyday? It is like in a freezer in winter, and in a microwave in summer, and within a few years a beautiful young girl will become a dark-skinned granny. Besides, are you guys really willing to let a white-collar beauty like me be pushed around by those dirty migrant workers?
China definitely does not lack rich men, but have a look at what kind of people they are. How many of them succeeded due to their own effort, ability or honesty? If they are not brick-moving labour contractors, then they are coal-digging boss from Shanxi, or they are corrupt. They are neither civilised, nor do they have a good bearing. How am I supposed to converse with them? To be honest, they will regard it as art if you are able to hum a few lines of pop music.
When they have money, they will go out eating, drinking, visiting prostitutes, or gambling. Just trying to live a peaceful life would be difficult. There are already people coming to the university to pursue me, extending their arms to give me business cards showing that they are some CEO, chairmen of the board, high-ranking bureaucrats, each of them wealthier and more arrogant than the other. Some even directly suggest me to be their concubine. Oh my God! I may not be an exceptionally beautiful woman, but I am at least a young and beautiful girl, who worked very hard for years to get into a prestigious university, and I can only be a mistress?!
II. Western countries have better living conditions.
Even if a rich single guy, outstanding, elegant, and falls in love with me, hmph hmph, this girl [referring to self] still will not really want to marry him. To be blunt, I just want to marry into the West. The Western world I have seen in television and movies is simply like heaven: clean streets, elegant buildings, pure air. Regardless whether bustling cities or quiet villages, everything seems to be so peaceful and harmonious. Regardless their academic background, everyone is very polite.
Based on this MM’s [my] abilities, I could of course be a woman who lives in a villa, but so what? Even if we can afford a villa, can we buy clean air? Isn’t there dirt and dust everywhere in this country? The rural areas are better, but I don’t want to go there. Wouldn’t it be weird, if while I am sun-bathing in a bikini at my swimming pool a bunch of farmers outside the fence carrying baskets of dung stare at me? Tibet indeed has very pure air, but please, this girl is afraid of high attitude sickness.
I especially dislike the current living environment. Every home has anti-theft doors, and despite having lived in the same building for years, everyone is awkward every time they meet each other. Many people can’t even be bothered to bring their garbage downstairs, piling it up in front of the doors in the summer stinking. Sometimes I even wonder whether I am not living together with a bunch of cavemen. Rice has poison, milk powder will result in big heads, pork is from floods, oil is from the ditches, just thinking about it makes me terrified.
Sorry, you want me to love you, give me a reason first? Don’t have any? Start loving foreign countries. The American “home town” [sic], France’s vinyards, Spanish coastal towns, British medieval villages, it could be any of those. One of my schoolmates went to study abroad in Canada, and brought his/her father there for half a year. and when he came back he would whine: “Ai, that [Canada] is really a place fit for people to live.” Don’t give me any excuses, if you want my love, you have to give me a reason, right?
The costs of living in China is too high. We spend like Americans and earn like Africans. My parents worked hard to send me to university, so I should repay them and take care of them right? Even I become a high-ranking white-collar, would the salary really be that high? My parents are getting old. If they become ill and hospitalised, what can I do about the excessively expensive medical bills? Western countries have universal health care. Especially the job market in China, there is nothing to be praised. Each time I see the over-crowded job fairs, I almost get a heart attack. Dear me! The job fairs are rather like WW2 Omaha Beach (Normandy on D-Day). I am a delicate girl, how can I squeeze through these smelly guys?
As a modern woman, the first task in life is to survive, study and get into university, find a job, save money for a house, and save money for retirement. Which one of these does not require slaving away? Isn’t it tiring? If my fellow schoolgirls did not become dark-skinned grannies after graduating, they found a rich person to marry, and allow their husbands to go out eating, drinking, visiting prostitutes, and gambling, pretending they do not know, why suffer?
III. Western boys are all very excellent.
Having said this much, that the environment is good, material things are good, this third point is what I value the most: I simply like Western men. Ever since I was small, I liked watching Western movies, such as Roman Holiday” or “Gone with the Wind,” and I liked watching the Westerners in the movies, their faces are all so sharp and distinctive, especially their charming coloured eyes, their straight pronounced noses, their tight smooth lips. Moreover, the majority of Westerners are tall, have strong and handsome physiques, and always so sexy. Then I look at the Chinese guys around me: Ignoring the small eyes, they have lumpy noses, thick lips, and if their skin is tanned a bit, they look remarkably like Africans. Those who have been educated almost all look malnourished, making me worried whether they can protect me or not. Occasionally, there is a muscular man, but despite having grown a head, they did not grow a brain.
Many college guys are pursuing me, and other guys in society also often ask me out on dates, but there are not many I like. Each of them either look like a soy sprout, or like Ultraman [character from a Japanese TV show], each of them unkempt, and at minimum each of them do not pay attention to their own image. Many of the guys spit in public, I particularly dislike people who do this. Only little children and animals defecate and urinate everywhere, and spitting in public is not much better than defecating and urinating in public, so at most they count only as half-civilised.
The majority of Western men carry themselves elegantly and well, because they received good education from when they were small. In our city there are McDonald’s and KFC restaurants, and I often go there with friends to eat. All the Western men in the restaurants seem to have good upbringing, opening doors for others to enter first. Chinese guys, the moment the door opens, they rush towards the counter, often colliding with people exiting, as if they were the reincarnation of someone who starved to death in their last life. The Westerners1 who enter all stand in line, Chinese men rush up in a crowd, surrounding the counter shouting their orders. as if they haven’t eaten any food in a long time. And without being ashamed, they throw their trash wherever after eating, but those Westerners would fold up the waste paper in their trays, making it convenient to dispose, and what they haven’t finished, they throw go dispose of in the wastebins by themselves. The two are simply are not the same level of people.
Furthermore, some Chinese men lack a sense of independence, only knowing how to revolve around girls, living like a super nanny. I feel they don’t have a self, sticking their thoughts on girls all day. Getting on the bus, they scramble for a seat, then busy themselves trying to give it to a girl, not caring about the elderly or children beside them, that I am embarrassed to sit down. This kind of men I also look down upon, revolving around their girlfriends before marriage, revolving around their wives after marriage, revolving around their bosses at work, and revolving around the kitchen after work. No thoughts, no temper, my god, I would be afraid of the son I have with this man being like his father, a model citizen so obviously cultivated by an authoritarian country. What girl does not like a man with personality and courage?
Western men were all raised in an environment of independence. They have independent thinking, not like Chinese men, who are parrots. Take my schoolmates for example. When the government talks about Japan and China’s good bilateral relationships, they like Japan. When the government promotes nationalism, they shout about attacking Japan. Each and every one of them are brainless, played like monkeys by others, yet still thinking themselves to be high and mighty. The whole lot of them a bunch of “pig headed men.”
There are some things I cannot say in real life, so I can only say them online.
In summary, I simply want to marry a Westerner, at best an American, but European is not bad either. As for criteria…I am not very demanding, it is no big deal even if his education is lower than mine, and no specific requirements about his work…isn’t the monthly salary for washing dishes at McDonald’s over a thousand USD? This can still allow him to buy a car and house. If this isn’t possible, I will just find a divorced man and be willing to be a stepmother. Besides, Western children have a strong sense of independence, at least they will not let me always clean up after them and cater to their every whim, right? If even this is not possible, Japanese or Korean men I would also consider, I would even consider marrying a Korean or Japanese. At worst, they will not cook for me. No matter what, I just want to leave the country and go to the West, if not for freedom then for money.2
I admit I am very worldly, but I don’t consider my thinking to be wrong. I am not hurting other people, I just want to live a better life, whether it is materially or culturally. I watched an American show “Desperate Housewives.” That quiet village, clean streets, green lawns, and elegant, polite neighbours, and I knew, that is the kind of life I want.
This story has actually been on the Chinese internet for some time, maybe a year. It will occassionally reappear and there will be new comments by netizens who have not read the story before. Copies of the original Chinese can be found on Xinhua and Baidu.
Notes:
1 She used the words 老外 [lǎo wài] and 西方男人 [xī fāng nán rén] here interchangably which literally mean “old foreigner” and “Western men” respectively. I consistently used the word “western”, although “老外 [lǎo wài]” of course would theoretically also include Korean or Japanese. But it is usually applied to Westerners or countries with a similiar political or cultural system.
2 The original Chinese words used were 选票 [xuǎn piào] and 钞票 [chāo piào] which mean “vote” and “banknotes” respectively. They both end in the same character, literally saying “voting slip” and “money slip”.
Comments from Baidu:
Clever, very clever!!! Only one sentence, nothing more to say.
First: With this kind of mindset, even if I was rich I would not want.
Second: This kind of female, is suitable for being a walking corpse [rotten, useless person]
Third: Counting three generations upwards, your ancestors were all peasant farmers. According to your thinking, all of your male ancestors would never be able to get a wife, so please tell me where did you come from?
Fourth: After letting the dogs fuck you ten thousand times, let then every Japanese do you. Go become a comfort woman for the Japanese.
After reading that, I am speechless. But I forced myself to write a reply, for the dignity of Chinese men. I tried hard not to immediately curse you, but in the end I cannot stop myself. You are simply a woman who did not get enough dick in your last life, what damn qualifications do you have for scolding Chinese men, including all the men in your family, and of course your own father. I imagine your dad would be pissed to death after reading this, and even if he did not die, he would become an idiot because your dad is also a Chinese man. You have grown up wasting how much of the country’s resources, and have you made just one day’s contribution to the country after graduating? Instead, you deny/reject your own ancestors, you “white eyed wolf” [someone who bites the hand that feeds her]. Had he known you were like this, your dad should have held back three seconds so he could ejaculate onto the wall instead, to save me from being pissed off today because of you, wasting my time to replying to this post.
Everyone has the right to choose their own life. As a Chinese, her being able to write out all of this is also not an easy thing to do, so it is possible that Chinese men really have let you down. I don’t know if you wrote this post in one go, I think it is not bad, and demonstrates your writing talent. But have a closer look at your essay: Everything you know about what is outside of the country comes from movies and media. I don’t know whether you are still studying or already working, but I want to say that nothing in the real world is absolute. Where there are good people, there will also be bad people; this is a very balanced world. Furthermore, have you done the calculations? How much wealth can you create? Everyone is clear about what they want, especially someone who has received higher education like you. Marriage is not like dating, marriage is even less a joke. Who do you think would look for a recent graduate who, other than being well-educated and pretty (this is what you said, I have never met you), cannot create any value? I say this without implying anything else, only wanting to say that if you want to reach your goal, should you not first consider for a moment where your own worth is?
Having your own dream is a virtue. For human being, he (she) has even more charm. But the form of this kind of dream must have a kind of self-sketched ability, and not something that goes by the book. This dissertation/thesis is a bowl of “hui guo rou” [a Chinese dish of recooked pork].
What a lamentable person! What reasons caused this outcome? This is a problem worth pondering by every Chinese person!
I neither support or am against your thinking. Everyone has the right to choose their own life, just like those in the red-light districts working the night shifts. They themselves are very happy, they do not have to do anything, yet they can get anything. From their perspective, I can understand them. After all, there are people in this world who have self-respect and self-love, and those who wallow in degeneration, and can sell their dignity and soul to chase material comforts, people who live life one day at a time.
Everyone has their way to find happiness, it does not need to be the same.
But I still want to ask you, do you believe in lifelong love? Although I have not found it, I believe in it!
Comments from 6park:
Continue your daydreaming! A foreigner would not give money to you!
He thinks it’s his money. If you want to spend money, earn your own! Haha…
Don’t get upset. Put her abroad for five years, and then let her see whether foreign men or Chinese men are good. She still has this good image about abroad like from the early 90s.
Obviously, this woman has never seen real foreign men.
Support! That’s a girl with a strong character.
Foreign men also drink, gamble and go to prostitutes. Them having money doesn’t mean that you can spend it.
Trash woman.
See more views on love and marriage by Chinese women and netizens:
- ‘I Like Being A Kept Mistress, My Life Right Now Is Great!’
- Pretty Shanghai Girl Seeking Husband for Marriage
- Pretty 1985 Shanghai Girl Wants Double-Eyelid Man
- Women Are To Be Played, Not To Be Loved
- Sister Says Family Poor, Cannot Find Boyfriend, Leaves
Images: These images are not of the author. I am not sure if the author added the pictures to her original post or if other netizens added them when they reposted her essay. Some of the pictures were stupid so I did not include them here but I include two. One is extra – Fauna.
Related Posts:
- A young Chinese girl hands out leaflets throughout Shanghai advertising her search for a husband, but her demands are very high. Then, she gives an interview. » 78 comments
- Woes of the post '80 generation: A Chinese college graduate from a poor family outlines his reasons for choosing to buy an apartment instead of getting married. » 109 comments
- Chinese netizens discuss modern Chinese university schoolgirls' eagerness to marry rich men. One internet poll shows 40% say when marrying, marry a rich person. » 17 comments
- How a Chinese college girl that viciously criticized a professor who said China's girls disrespect themselves by being with foreign men online was exposed. » 459 comments
- Girl posts online about having 5 abortions within 3 years at university, and asks for relationship advice after her boyfriend says no one will want her anymore. » 85 comments
Girl Seeks Marriage, Distributes Leaflets w/ High Demands 
Wife vs. House: Chinese Men Discuss What They Can Afford 
Chinese University Schoolgirls Would Marry Evil Rich People 
“Zhejiang University Girl” Exposed By Human Flesh Search 
College Schoolgirl: 3 Years, 5 Abortions
Why are there always some girls who make Chinese girls lose face. Although I feel angry and a bit sad after reading this long article, there is nothing I can do to prevent such a bad trend in China.
here’s the thing! this girl, is right about one thing…
there are alot of chinese men, who do seem to be snobbish.
and mommas boys ! but they are raised in homes that worship the men and young boys from a early age..
and that goes back 5000 yrs of culture, women have always
been Reguarded as secondthe home!! if you go live your life? you are banished from the Famaly in Places..
women are forced to seek Equal Partnerships where women are worshiped in our country… we are Raised in america to show much Respect to our moms.. look china is going through a growing stage where women want some Respect…
china is a very old culture Noble culture, its haveing a hard time with change, Remember this!! a womens love is a gift to any man… he must earn her Respect before he is Givein the gift of her love……. besides that, if an asian women does not Respect you? LOOK OUT…… for every one who thinks this women is Disrespectful and shallow?? look what she has started with all the mean and unspirited comments? she is most likely sitting back WITH HER ASIAN MAN, and smileing at all the fighting going on, with one story about asian men….
me?? I think she is smart as Hell!!!!!
jimmyjim…
This chick knows nothing about “western men”.
But, if she likes KFC(junk) that much, USA should be a good place to go.
Good luck to her western dream!
you have no idea what you are talking about. America is not all KFC fast food. We have cuisine from all over the world, and real western food, not junk food, is far more healthier than chinese food smothered in oil and msg–heart disease waiting to happen.
But I think we are all missing the point. She is chinese so she certainly likes Chinsese food. And what she is saying is not very different from every woman in the world. It sounds pretty greasy and vulgar to give sombody your business card–asking for a date or a assignation–that is 100% sleazy, low-class, and will most certainly turn-off any girl. these men treat her like a whore. And she is just a kid, a child. NO doub these me are in their forties. That disgusts me. It probably disgusts her too. I’ve see fit chinese men. I’m sure some of them have a brain, but it is lonely when you are a smart thinking person. MOst people are common. So even she goes west she will meet non-thinking me, but probably less. But the point is–her complaints about China signal what needs to be done. Nobody in their right mind wants to live in dirt and pollution. Do you? Clean it up–Now, don’t just talk about. Be considerate of others, esp. the people you are with, and the girls you see. be genuine–dont hand out business cards and treat every women like a whore. Use manners. I can totally sympathize with her on this–I hate traveling in China–every body pushing and shoving to get things–me, me, me, me–soooo selfish and greedy. Everybody says not my business! But it is–can’t you see–it is! We are a community. This kind of behavior is a blatant disrespect of other human beings and the community, and yourself. She should not be seen as a ‘turncoat’, but as a signpost–BEWARE–wake-up–and you should be saying this is what we need to do to improve our society, not to be like the west, but for our own health and humanity. Respect. I find most chinese men disgusting too, coughing up throaty mucus and spitting it at my feet or on the floor of a public bulding or even a restaraunt where people eat–thats unhealthy, wretched. But i find many chinese woman equally offensive–belching, huge yawns, picking thier nose in public, sweaty greasy arm-pit hair, enormous body odor, decaying black and yellow teeth. its nasty! Obviously, this is not all chinses women, but many. And many more are the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. But there are a lot of women in China.
I think China needs a lesson in Hygiene 101, and manners. maaners exist becuase we all have to live together in close quarters, so we should respect each other, and be considerate. manners ar enot pretentioous. They are respectful and show that you do not think you are the only person who matters.
Any sane girl will want to live in a community that cares for and respects each other, not one that is so selfish it litters the street like a dump. No sane person wants to live thier own trash and shit. Animals do that.
BUt i said it before, i’ll say it again–she too is a selfish materialistic girl and reflects everything she does not like. She is a hypocrite.
This is also a peronal ad and should be removed from the forum. its a gimmmick.
This post looks suspicious. Nice try to start a flame war.
thinly veiled social critique, but it does have some very valid points about contemporary life in China; what she dislikes about Chinese men seems to be centered on their materialism and me-only selfishness/lack of social etiquette, yet she is guilty of materialism herself. This toadying attitude toward the West was probably more prevalent in the 1990’s, but today, I think the myth and illusion has largely worn off…
I totally agree with her. There’s nothing wrong to chase the American Dream of KFC and the men inside.
“In summary, I simply want to marry a Westerner, at best an American, but European is not bad either.”
lol, better get an European man, no Americans.
hahaha, she dislikes the materialistic views of the Chinese men? Then why go for an American one!
That is a F@#%ing retarded stereotype. You think Americans are materialistic, more so than anybody else? You show your ignorance. Americans are the most generous peopl ein the world. When was last time you did something for your community, or donated to charity–the earthquake not included–or helped out a homeless guy. Probably never, because you say its not your business, or you blame the victim. Or you use the excuse that ‘i’m poor…so what can I give?’ Studies show that poor people in America give more to other poor people than millionaires or middle class yuppies (by % relative to income) and its common. Go to America and you will see millions f charity organizations that work. Go online and you will find countless non-governmental organizations–non-profits working to make a better world and feed the poor, the homeless, or nurture children, etc. You have almost none of that in Chna, because dont care about each other. Your biggest value is loyalty. Yeah, well so is it any gang, or mob, or mafia, or fascist dictator.
You have o idea what you are talking about, so just shut up and grow up! learn to respect/value people–not just your family. i don’t believ in God, but one of my favorite figures of speech goes like this: GOd gave us friends to apologize for family.
Americans are actually far less materialistic than Chinese, and Europeans. I lived extensively in all these places. Americans are reflected badly in the media–rhe government is often an evil vistagoth–but the people will give you the shirt off their back if they thought you needed it. Can’t say that for China.
In China you care about family–period–and sometimes thats a lie. In the west we care about community. So its seems communism was a lie too. Actually there is more communism in ‘meterialistic’ America, though they don’t realize it. What I mean by ‘commune-ism’ is commun-ity.
More like you steal from poor countries and than wipe off some scraps to feed all the minorities you exploited and raped and continue to exploit and rape.
China provides for friends and family first because they don’t exactly have a lot of money to throw around yet.
Whites simply steal from other peoples and give to themselves, and then pat themselves on the back for being “generous”… they are vile.
Dear Western Lover
From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
I am with you just as long as you stay pure and
undefiled until marriage.
I think the real reson she wants americans, is much more oppertunitys, oops spell check… we are much more respectful to women… and they are treated as partners,
rather than object, or property!! I meen, I still open doors for a girl, or an old couple. a women whe is educated here, can make upwards of 100.000 yrly, can you do this in asisa? and realy, americans just know how to make love much better….
jimmy..
I love KFC!!!!
Oh, hoho, I am turning in my grave.
To please my queen, I claim to change my nickname from USTCer to KFCer from now on. All queen haters shut up and reflect.
This sort of a girl is not worth getting angry over. She brags about herself, has an image of the West that comes from TV and movies (and thus does not reflect real life here) and the things she says she values are so shallow and empty that she herself must be such a person. There are millions and millions of fat, awkward, lonely western men (living in their mother’s basements) who would love to meet her I am sure. They would be perfect for her.
As a side note… what is with the focus on money??!! Westerners are rich and poor, greedy and generous, stupid and smart, evil and good. There are westerners like this girl (people who care about brands and labels and bank accounts and status) and many that are the opposite. When I am in China, sure, things (aside from luxury items) generally cost less than they do in the U.S. so I spend more freely than normal. Also, it is like vacation so I am inclined to spend even more… perhaps this is why people talk about foreigners having so much money? I find this focus on famous brands, houses, cars, etc. to be rather disgusting. Oh well, it is good that one can choose with whom one associates, eh? I avoid this sort of person at all costs… no matter how beautiful she may be, on the inside she is empty and blank.
Yes, this is interesting. In China, there are many more men then women, but in the big cities like Beijing and Shanghai, good men are at a great shortage. I am a Chinese male and I have seen this trend with displeasure but curbed my uproar in search of reason. Rage will do nothing; reason can solve a problem. The problem is that too many Chinese men would see this and be angry and hate her and that would be all that they do. But they must listen to what she says. She did not say that she does not like Chinese men because they are Chinese; she says that it is because they act discourteously and neglect exercise. I have seen this. Females by nature will be attracted to the best male, with the best physique, the most intelligent, earning the most money, and exhibiting the most class. This is regardless of race. The solution is here. The solution is to step past your rage and work to relinquish the problem. We must act courteously, open doors for ladies, use “excuse me”, “sorry” and “thank you”. We must wear nice clothes and keep clean. In our acedemic persuits, we must not neglect to exercise and keep a well-built body. We will act with more class as we become richer. This is the solution. China is walking in that direction with our rising economy and rising global influence. We must not act like a bunch of low-rank brigands who spit and curse. We must lead the world by being professional and civil. We are on that track and this disgrace will be rectified.
Absolutely true, If you studied US history, you will know that the British thought those americans were uncivilized brutes. China is going thru the same thing, as the country developes, so will its people.
If you talk to most English people, like myself, we still think they are uncivilised brutes.
Yep, talking loudly and eating too much, love those brutish Yankies! Not.
I’m not from the US, but talking about uncivilised brutes, in the UK they are pretty heavy drinkers.
Yes, the English are indeed far more civilized, as they amply demonstrated to the Irish and among their football fans and Liverpool lads. Nary a fattie in the Queen’s emerald isle, either, and the women are ravishing what with their teeth at all angles, their spotty complexions, their sure and loud opinions, and their ski sloping noses and pale skin.
Had to laugh at your comment, “London.” While traveling the globe, I have come to learn that although Americans are certainly not universally liked, there are many more countries that all but despise the UK for its various transgressions throughout history. Also, maybe its just the ones I’ve met while traveling, but the majority of British I’ve encountered have been rather loud and boorish themselves. I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of “Yanks” and every other culture out there making fools of themselves abroad, but it seems a bit like the kettle calling the pot black. So, I hope you enjoy being a prejudiced hypocrite. G’day.
I accidentally went into this forum and found it interesting to read all the male comments responding to this woman’s dream for material wealth, status, and being the center of attention of everything. I’m an Asian living in America and always thought expressing humility and humbleness was the Chinese character and so I laughed when I was reading her letter. In America, there are so many beautiful and well educated young girls that she would only fade in the sea of the crowd. Some of the comments were right to belittle her for her naiveness and hypocritical writing of Chinese men. However, I find that your own critique of your country men was unbiased and that you are wise to listen to her complaints about Chinese men. I myself think highly of Chinese men for their loyalty and responsiblity towards their family. You are hard workers and you work hard to provide for your family. But the drinking, gambling and prostitute thing are opposing characters of the above qualities. You are right, there is a changing wind in China and eventually years from now the bad part will change. But for the Chinese men of this generation, it wil not be an easy thing to change because of the environment that you grew up in. Your voice was the voice of reason and I applaud you for it.
I know some chinese women who rather go for non-China male than local male. When I asked why, the reason ain’t pretty.
i think all this talk about who’s better china or americans or any race is crazy …just like that girl who classifies and one by where they live at that makes them a good husband or not i cant judge all me because i can only judge the men i have been with ….an some being good and others not so good but its all in who you love not what they are or where there from …for example i have been with white ,aisan ,italian ,hatitian ,jamaican black, spanish …and so on and yes there are all raised differently there views on marriage an children are different but not that diffrent…but what people should come to understand is you have to explore the world and open you heart and mind to different people an diffrent thing because love i mean true love is never classified by what they are but who they are sooo i think she needs to really think about what she wants and where she sees her self and her future kids …. and how she wants them to see her before she starts talking about money ..and all that other stupid shit becuase money is nice but not everyone has it but together you two can work to get it thats somthing i learned wit my husband and hes filpino and im black and dominican he wasnt born in america but hes the best thing that has ever happend to me ….so the little advice i can give her is open your eyes because the world is all around her and shes missing it….
you are right,a lot of points the girl makes are true,a lot of chinese are very unpolite,if it is driving manners,sometimes i think an animal has more rights on the road,and stories abt anti socil behaviour in the cities,dirt everwhere,noise and no interest in other peoples lives,its typical for an emerging society irrespective of the thousands year civilisation.Of course life in the west Canada or other beats china with miles the cities have no suburban life of any significance so we can ratrace in poluted cities thats it.new generations will do better she may not want to wait for that cant blame her
i agree. But China is the most maaterialistic place on earth. it is almost everything they care about–money. Everything they say about America is true about themselves. And if they say anything its usually the opossite–from relationships to international politics. Even as they claim they are not an interventionalist nation they build aircraft carriers and a strong air-force to ‘protect’ increaqsing intersts abroad–in Africa, South America, etc. as they suck up oil like pigs. As they emerge on the international scene they will need to ‘intervenne’ and ‘interfere’ to protect their economic interests. All greedy capitalists do. Aircraft carriers serve one purpose–invasion. NOt defense.
Don’t forget the all out Imperialism and colonialism in Africa and Papua New Guinea. Chinese who go there to work raping the environment and resources look down on the locals as “monkeys” with no skills to get jobs… People who work sub-standard wages and sub-standard safety look down on the locals for not working for Chinese slave masters…
I should make some money off this. She is official mail-order goods now. All rednecks or hillbillies are welcome to bid. Especially those from Kentucky are the best buyers. LOL.
Everyone must have dreams, that’s the difference between the Mao period and China of today. People who have dreams and hopes are happier. She sounds like a young woman feeling lost as she faces some life changing decisions upon her graduation. That is called life’s stages, from total dependence, to self-reliance and expressions, to marriage and responsibilities with ones’ own familiy, to old age. So, good for her for asking herself some questions – what does she want and where does she go from here.
Her piece had actually contained serveral parts. She dreams of material success. She dreams of living in a pollution free and green environment. She dreams of a genteel society where people are more civilized and polite to each other. She dreams of romance and love in marriage.
As for materialistic life appears glamourous with many pitfalls. To have financial success is to have to work long hours with little time for self-enrichment and family, to be under stress constantly. There is always another new and improved status item to want and more debt to pay. As long as basic necessity is met and have enough savings for retirement and children’s education, a modest goal is more realistic that brings contentment. This puruit of material well being has no ending if one is to go along with the commercial propaganda.
Pollution – everyone in China would share this desire without debate. There should be no trash thrown about, industries should be fined for pollution. Government should starting enforcing and caping pollution.
Politeness and neighborliness – Chinese certainly can improve on this score in comparison to other people in the world. Look to Switzerland for its cleanliness, Japanese for her civil society, Americans for her friendliness, etc. Pushing and shoving and loudness is not tolerated in most societies except China.
Quality of men, all women desire soft considerate romantic men with empathy. Those moneyed Chinese men can learn to lower their arrogance a bit, be humble, be helpful and listen with care. Dress cleanly but not necessarily expensively. Speak of music, art and poetry. What this University graduate said is true in many ways about the newly minted men. As for her desire to marry foreigners, it carries a different set of problems because of cultural gap. It would take extra patience, insight and communication to overcome cultural misunderstandings that affects a relationship when the physical attraction wears out.
There is a saying in English, “The grass is always greener over the fence.” I would advise this girl to be patient, to continue her education to a higher level, trust and depend on herself above all for survival. When she has many skills, her dreams will be rewarded some how because she has many more options from which to choose. Her concern about her parents becoming a burden to her will take time for her to embrace. Youth fades quickly and when she is in her middle age, she will mature and understand her duties and obligations.
Chinese netizens, don’t be the first one to throw stones when you live in a glass house. What she wrote is a common secret desire for many Chinese. She just articulated them for you.
You go girl!
Welcome to America – freedom of speech and KFC…
Here you can be anything… including single if you want…
I admire the fact she’s saying what many people won’t say about materialism in life. It’s a brutally honest reflection on society, nevertheless I think she needs to adopt a more pragmatic attitude if she’s going to find a man.
XD She should try her luck in West Virginia.
I think this site could use a forum so we can post messages properly and userIDs won’t get ripped off like Rick’s…
Very heartfelt lamentation from this young female. Unfortunately, that if it is heartfelt and not a hoax created to stir up a backlash against intercultural relationships…IT IS ALSO VERY SAD.
All I see, as a westerner (albeit a dark one…haa) …is a very easy target. Show a bit of cash… some wild ‘new’ ideas, and bam! Sleep with her.
Newsflash to this girl. Western guys aren’t stupid either… they see your weakness and will exploit it to the same degree that you would exploit them for their greencard, social constructs etc.
I am totally disgusted and amazed by the amount of open racism and latent self-loathing that permeates her every sentence.
Freud would have a field day with this bitch.
what’s up with chinese girls and the western addiction, hell myself have a china addiction, came from shanghai… now gotten bored with the states and wants to go back to the mother land. But girls with this type of mentality is just too damn common in shanghai, married off to a westerner get out of the country earn a US or any other western citizenship; divorce. then find another rich man too live off of. Sad … just Sad.
Of course, your glaring ass-umption is that they get divorced, or at a rate any higher than other couples. This way you can justify your consternation–or is it prejudice. Comes from living in the only U.S. state with an Asian-American MAJORITY.
Here are some high class Western men very suitable for her.
http://www.rightblueeye.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/HillbillyTeeth.jpg
http://hoox.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/hillbilly.jpg
Honey, these guys will make your dream come true.
that video clip is probably illegal to possess in the U.S.(child pornography laws, etc), but not sure about China, I know people get fined, but that seems to be arbitrary enforcement…
This sentiment (and fallacy) is become more and more common… within the subconscious of the chinese lady sits a dream of western sex and riches… which often results in disappointment and divorce. Wake up and live… from a western man.
This is a very beautiful young lady indeed however she seems to live in a TV/Movie world. I think that she needs to mature some more before thinking about some of the things that she writes about. No doubt in my mind that she can indeed find a rich American man as beautiful as she is but how will it end in happiness or divorce? She does need to mature some.
By the way I am an American man and though not rich rich I do have money but would not consider such a lady for marriage until she matures some. My money will only increase in quantity and value her looks are probably at it’s peak right now and will only go downhill from here.
If she is so great, then perhaps she should get to the Western world on her own merits rather than whoreing herself to some sad horny old yellow-fevered-up loser who happens to have opened a door for her. This girl is such a snob and should show more respect towards her own culture and race.
It’s actually quite sad that she truly believes all Westerners live like the Desperate Housewives. It’s like Westerners believing that all Chinese are scholarly, live in giant houses with courtyards, all elaborately dressed, can fly and can kick arse.
How can someone supposed to be intelligent be so deluded? Some basic education should have taught her that although wages in Western countries are higher on paper, the cost of living is also proportionally higher. The average McDonald’s worker won’t be able to get a mortgage for a house with a big lounge, bathtub for two plus a car on their wages.
Also, I think she’s ripe pickings for any Westerners fancying a bit of a dalliance. Perhaps being used and discarded enough times will wake her up to the reality that Western men aren’t the gentlemen on her pedestal. I think Western relationships don’t expect a great deal of commitment at the start, and her sniffing for marriage will be enough to scare most away, not to mention her blatant gold-digging.
One of the things I hate most about the Chinese today, which they seem to have caught from the West, is the rampant consumerism of which she seems to have been caught by, hook line & sinker. She is the ice salesman’s eskimo. It’s sad that people waste so much time and effort, and make themselves miserable by wanting so much useless sh!t.
I am willing to take her as wife and bring her to the USA. But, that back door will be mine, and I will utilize it heavily every single day.
Did she leave contact information?
Lets re post this on some expat websites and make it happen!
She probably doesn’t realize there is a financial crisis in the U.S., the western man who takes her may likely default on the house mortgage and also credit card debt, she will then have to work at KFC…I think it will be actually educational for her to come to the U.S. to shatter the illusions she and others hold.
This was funny. Really liked this line: “isn’t the monthly salary for washing dishes at McDonald’s over a thousand USD? This can still allow him to buy a car and house.” Absolutely hilarious. Sadly, I’ve met plenty of people in China who are amazed at the minimum wage in the US. They just don’t realize that minimum wage is poverty level.
Minimal wage in the US is still considerable from a Chinese POV, they just don’t realize the standard of living is very different in the US.
“washing dishes at McDonald’s over a thousand USD?“
Since when were there any dishes in McDonalds?
Well, for a Chinese, it’s not a bad piece of writing and she has some certain ability to think outside of the box – which is nice to see, but she certainly thinks highly of herself – it’s almost off putting. She’ll grow up one day and realize things aren’t quite so black and white…
@SniperWZ
She’s a university student. She doesn’t know who she herself is yet – let alone what’s important in life – let alone how used up and loose she’ll be by the time her materialism-based search for “marrying an American” is in full swing :)
Then she’ll reconsider, and realize men are men – everywhere – and she’ll have to change her attitude significantly before finding a man of any race who is of any quality and finds her interesting.
“…men are men – everywhere…”
Amen.
@Chinamatt -> Wow I missed that line about McDonald’s… that is amazing, I wonder if many other Chinese are THAT far off on what things cost in the U.S.
On even 4 times that amount you would struggle to have much. I suppose the hugely different taxes are unknown in China. Here is a breakdown for any Chinese wondering:
Income Tax: 25% of everything I earn.
State Tax: 5% of everything I earn.
Local Tax: 2% of everything I earn.
Sales Tax: 6.75% of everything I buy.
Social Security: 7% of everything I earn.
Property: I pay $4,000 a year. It ranges from about $2,000 to over $10,000. Utility fees: about $500 a month.
Health Insurance: $550 a month (plus extra for doctor visits).
Car Insurance: $700 per year.
There are MANY more taxes, fees and expenses that come with living in the U.S. so a McDonald’s employee earning $1,000 a month would be about as well off as a homeless migrant worker in construction site housing.
Actually, with the new minimum wage, a full-time worker at McDonalds makes about $1,200 a month. Depending on where this worker lives, he or she can rent a decent apartment and buy enough food but not save much. Said worker can earn more by staying on the job and becoming an assistant manager. Hardly comparable to what a migrant worker can obtain. As for taxes, they vary considerably, with some states not having any local or state taxes, so let’s not overgeneralize Gaoshan.
This is a great example of someone who labels everyone, that is except for herself. Her use of over generalization is astounding and displays a completely black and white picture on both sides (West and East). Ironically she did not label her self (ahem gold digger and egotistical). This girl is completely lost by the notion of ‘greener pastures’ and her fallacy with the help of Hollywood gives her no personal substance. This girl thinks she’s ‘deep’ but in fact she only licking the earth or in this case the Western world.
May the backhand of reality slapeth some sense into this girl.
@Chinamatt, maybe back in the heyday of the credit bubble, a person making $1K can get a sub-prime mortgage with 0% down and a car loan also with 0 down, not anymore…the house would now be forclosed and high gas prices would have grounded that car anyway by now…
My first reaction is…what an idiot. She disses her own people due to a fantasy that a Western man can provide her dream. What is her value? She wants to sit in her parlor like living room and wile away the day chatting with friends? She has just been labelled as the atypical negative stereotype of a Chinese gold-digging girl.
Her education seems to be a joke. No morals, no humility, no IQ. Maybe she can catch some English teachers fancy at a KTV lounge…
a western man
Exactly- too many English teachers trolling for Chinese you know what. I know a few who married their students. Creepy. During the last few years in China we (European married couple) have been disgusted by the number of foreign men with Chinese women – most/many of these guys are as shallow, unethical and disgusting as this woman. Whose zooming who? Mutual masturbation. One English teacher said to my husband when he was at his apartment, “Come one, let’s go online and look for Chinese women,” to which my husband replied, “I’m married, obviously you don’t have a concept.” I am only one person here, but I know of at least three men who left their Western wives for Chinese women while I’ve been in China. I have met families whose fathers with families in other countries. We figure these Western men either can’t get a good Western woman, don’t want to have to play fair with a Western women, have racist ideas about “exotic beauty” or just want someone to put up or shut up. And most of us have seen the most unattractive men with beautiful girls that could be their daughters. Creepy. Too bad she can’t figure out that if it were so great in the West, many of us would be there. True love, hahahahahaha
I am a Singaporean of Chinese descent who have travelled to the West as well as to China and other parts of Asia. I speak both Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese, and some Fujianese) as well as English.
I think the writer’s view and conception of the West is totally flawed. If the folks in the movie business in China were to shoot their scenes in the hundreds and hundreds of scenic spots in China, it will project China as a clean and green place, just like those scenes she saw on American movies. Her misguided thinking is a result of her not having been to the West, and seen what Hollywood or even the Hong Kong movie directors will not show. (Go to Hong Kong and see for yourself that it is not what you see in Hong Kong dramas…ditto for USA)
It is also not true that western men are more cultivated or independent. They also visit prostitutes and many of them who come to China to work are doing precisely that..but they also visit prostitutes in their own countries, eh?
It is really sad to see that there are many more Chinese girls who think like the writer, and who throw themselves into these men. After a few years, these men leave for home (and by the way, many of them have wives and children back home) and the poor Chinese girls are simply left behind.
I have myself met many good Chinese men. It may be true their difficult past have brought forward some undesirable attirbutes, but these will take time to change.
Incidentally, being conversant in both languages (and culture), my opinion is that the Chinese language is more beautiful, and it is sad to see that the writer, coming from a good Chinese university, cannot appreciate what a rich culture China has, choosing instead to worship almost everything western.
I want to be perfectly clear that there really is no downside to living in American suburbs. Great people from all races, loads of middle-class jobs… easy access to the cities… and no pollution.
Even the most polluted city in the US doesn’t even begin to compare to the least polluted city in China. However you feel about Americans, you should at least make informed statements.
As for the girl, she’s a whore. She shouldn’t so openly make such a statement. If this is how she feels, good for her, but why broadcast it like this? If she has angst about the way China is, that’s one thing (and totally understandable… living in Shanghai is like living in Hell when you’re coming straight from Taipei City and Minneapolis)… but her points could’ve been stated alone. She needn’t center her complaints around her personal conclusion.
This had the potential to be a raw, intelligent indictment of flaws in modern Chinese culture, but it turned into some bimbo ranting about her dream world.
And although America is really great to live in, I can report that not all Western men live up to her Clarke Gable fantasies. Yes, Asian women seem to consider us very attractive. Yes, we have more money on average. Yes, we are more civilized in our mannerisms… but that doesn’t mean a Western man won’t treat you like crap a year into the relationship. No one is perfect. Men are men, but it’s true that older Chinese businessmen are often just amoral rats.
Additionally, I have never heard of a single American man that I know ever visiting a prostitute. Just want to point that out… Chinese love to make this claim, that prostitution is somehow as rampant in America as it is in China. In China, you have so many whorehouses, massage parlors, etc. and they’re always busy, often operating at all hours of the day. In my city… I have never once HEARD of a hooker. I’m sure they exist, but they just aren’t found in the majority of suburban America. Even urban hookers in Chicago and NY are a rare occurrance when compared to whore culture in even small communities in China. It’s a matter of being civilized.
Far be it from me to say that there is NO prostitution in America. There is. If you know where to look. Who knows where to look? Our politicians. And that’s probably where you get this idea. But the average American man has never seen a prostitute, or even considered seeing one. I once read in the paper when I was in HK that a majority of Chinese city men lose their virginity to hookers. It’s just a difference in culture. That’s what happens, I think, when women are kept in cages of sexual oppression…
What’s this obsession you people have with virginity? Sick dogs. Let a woman satisfy her needs the same way you do, and then you wouldn’t have to use prostitutes.
I am a Singaporean of Chinese descent who have travelled to the West as well as to China and other parts of Asia. I speak both Chinese (Mandarin and Cantonese, and some Fujianese) as well as English.
I think the writer’s view and conception of the West is totally flawed. If the folks in the movie business in China were to shoot their scenes in the hundreds and hundreds of scenic spots in China, it will project China as a clean and green place, just like those scenes she saw on American movies. Her misguided thinking is a result of her not having been to the West, and seen what Hollywood or even the Hong Kong movie directors will not show. (Go to Hong Kong and see for yourself that it is not what you see in Hong Kong dramas…ditto for USA)
It is also not true that western men are more cultivated or independent. They also visit prostitutes and many of them who come to China to work are doing precisely that..but they also visit prostitutes in their own countries, eh?
It is really sad to see that there are many more Chinese girls who think like the writer, and who throw themselves into these men. After a few years, these men leave for home (and by the way, many of them have wives and children back home) and the poor Chinese girls are simply left behind.
I have myself met many good Chinese men. It may be true their difficult past have brought forward some undesirable attributes, but these will take time to change.
Incidentally, being conversant in both languages (and culture), my opinion is that the Chinese language is more beautiful, and it is sad to see that the writer, coming from a good Chinese university, cannot appreciate what a rich culture China has, choosing instead to worship almost everything western.
My friend’s wife (Chinese) divorced her first husband (a Chinese guy. He was always running off to gamble and sometimes didn’t come home for days) and married a white American, moved to America and, after 10 years and 2 great kids, they are the happiest couple I know. They are not rich and they live in the countryside. You can find good partners and bad partners anywhere… no one culture is superior or inferior. You just have to find someone you connect with.
PS: It is MY opinion that the Chinese language is more beautiful than English….and I repeat here that China has a rich culture. Readers are free to disagree with my opinion, and to think that Western or African or Indian or whatever…languages/cultures are superior/inferior.
That said, I do not dispute the possibility that there are happy marriages between foreign nationals and Chinese…nowhere in what I wrote suggested that these are not possible. However, let’s bear in mind how many Chinese women have been cheated as a result of their misguided beliefs in everything western…and let’s not be defensive about that but face the reality squarely, okie?
Please read again what I have written which is in the context of what the writer of this article had written.
Chinese is more a form of communication than a true language. I love China, and Chinese people, but the language? bleah.
Probably because you’re too stupid to understand abstraction.
I have never in my life met a whiteboy who was able to appreciate Chinese high literature or culture. They are simply too low IQ and cultureless.
Given a choice between speaking Mandarin and another Chinese varietion (don’t want to get into the dialect/language debate) like Hakka or Cantonese, I’d go for the latter.
I find Putonghua to be much less expressive than many of its counterparts, tied as it is to recent literary language, whereas those varieties that have stronger roots in daily spoken Chinese are very… visceral.
On the other hand, it’s somewhat mutual. Just as many Western men have been disillusioned with the reality that their oriental wimminz do not fit into their fantasies.
I say it’s fair trade,haha
I agree with the view that this girl is somewhat naive about Western guys (and I am one). And she does seem very shallow. She does raise two valid points. One, her reference to not being able to sunbathe without a bunch of dung farmers staring is true.- I’ve accepted that China is not Italy or Brazil, but nevertheless I look forward to the day when Chinese popular society becomes better at just letting other enjoy themselves. She’s right- ordinary life in China is rarely pleasant in the private, self-indulgent way (without a lot of money) that one finds in the West. Second, yes, Western guys can be just as bad as other guys, but Chinese guys, for the most part need to get a clue. I’ve lived in China for 3 years, and I hate to say it, but Chinese guys need a lot of work. I blame an adolescence that’s 100% studying- no sports, no work, etc. they seem almost entirely to be either extremely socially awkward around women or excessively chauvinistic and ignorant. I’m sorry, but there’s no other way to put it. The nice ones are awkward and the rest are just- well, if you’ve lived there, you know. (Nevermind the rich “little emperors” who are the worst- it’s ridiculous being macho and assertive when you’re 5′4″ and have arms the size of a gear shift. Sweet and nice, if you’re that guy, is your only bet. Leave the swaggering machismo to African and Latino guys) I have hope that this will change one day.
Probably because all the best ones are taken by the time they get into high school
Whoa, the vitriol on this young lady. I have lived long enough to understand life stages and changing perspectives. She is dreamy being 22. Some of her complaints about China are valid but her idealistic West is not. She has the courage to reveal herself completely, her dreams, her fears and her uncertainty, being 22. Don’t we all go through our youths feeling lost at one point or another?
Yes, the grass is always greener on the other side. But, pollution and unhygenic conditons in China is head spinning and stomach turning. Who would want to live in such environment? The lack of civility in public in China makes life so much harder than it already is. Why can’t Chinese stop spitting, public deficating and urinating, trashing public places, shoving and pushing, loudness in speech. Chinese men can learn to be more intuned to women’s desires: improve your grooming and wear clean clothes. (Opening doors and pulling out chairs for women is not part of Chinese etiquette for men, don’t try because the men would end up looking awkward.) Find an interesting conversation on movie, books, art, music to share. Show your confidence and have a sense of humor. But, don’t brag about your achievement or your money.
Given that everyone knows poverty intimately in China up till now, I do not blame Chinese for being materialistic at the moment. But, what is important to remember what really counts in life is not about more, if one were to find happinese, . It is not about bigger house, fancier cars and vacation, more this or that. It is about who we are in the human net work, to love and care for each other, to listen and empathize, to be honest in every encounter. Happiness and contentment is inevitable.
I am writing as a Chinese American married to a White man for 20 odd years. We find our differences a challenge as well as enriching. It takes a lot of patience and empathy to overcome misunderstandings. We live a modest but rich life in America. Money is utility for basic needs. Happiness is not about how much we have, but how much we discover.
This is the case of wanting something not within our reach. I hope she has Chinese friends (both male and female) who’ll just support her in her dreams.
IMHO,
this only shows how very easily chinese are still riled up and trolled.
all you need to do is diss them a little bit, and everyone throws a hissy fit about it.
china = world’s greatest lolcow
Chinese nationalism creates the worlds most inflated collective ego lol
If only I wasn’t already married to another smart, capable, beautiful Chinese girl, I’d at least give this one a good rogering!
I recognise this type of girl from my university classes. Somebody above talked about Chinese boys needing to have more of a life during their teenage years – I agre 100% with that. But this girl also needed to have more of a life during her teenage years.
She is very idealistic, which is a great thing, but she is going to end up sorely disappointed when she fails to meet one of the 5% of guys who actually meets her ideal.
The Chinese education system has a lot of blame to take for this, for not helping Chinese kids think critically and and a self-aware fashion.
Most likely would landed in Geylang
Seems rather quiet here. Someone, whose manner of speaking sounded rather condescending and snobbish, mentioned Italy, but not USA, now that it has been proven that the system which they have been preaching sucks.
Well, I certainly hope China will not imitate Italy, a great country without an international air carrier. Alitalia is flying like it is made of paper. If you have been to South Italy, you will see how ‘civilised’ the people there are. That writer said that Chinese men need a clue, but forgot to offer his advice to the western or rather Mediteranean men in Napoli where at least one person gets killed everyday. And just look at the tons of rubbish there.
In fact, Italy should get a place in the Guiness Book for having changed more than 50 prime ministers since the end of World War 2. Ever wondered how many countries care to have any foreign policy with Italy?
So friends, go on and swim …maybe the Italian farmers won’t ogle at you, if you care to believe. By the way, I know of a great number of Italians visiting prostitutes in Shanghai and elsewhere in China, who would boast of their trysts the next day.
Having been around from Rome to Firenze, Milano, Ancona, Como, Brindisi, Lecce…I have seen Italians who are just as shy in front of the opposite sex, and that’s speaking from first hand observation. So, let’s not take a cheap swipe at Chinese men.
Really really sad to see this young girl having such a jaundiced view of the WEST. Even more disgusting is when some western men come to China and think they are better than the local men before looking at themselves in the mirror.
Eric, China is a wonderful country and the people are great as well but why do you have to denigrate others to make your points?
Eric Wong, you are on the money!
Yes Gaoshan, he does. Why build yourself up when you can tear others down?Haaaa…
Well Eric, it seems you have a jaundiced view of Italy.
Its like saying all germans are bad because of the Nazis, cmon guys grow up.
This is just a post by a young naive girl who just needs to grow up a bit.
A few more years and some life experience will put her mind at a good balance.
We were all the same at that age and its not a bad thing to sort out your thoughts and attitudes, and often writing them and reading comments helps.
Im a scotsman working as a foreign teacher in the south of china, i love it here, the people the culture, my mates. Life is good.
You stupid F*cks!
You bitch at her for saying bad things about Chinese men and then you turn around and say bad things about ‘western’ men and society. Grow up!
Do you at all see the hypocrisy? I think not, you just can’t do it. You don’t want to do it. You hate it when other see it in your actions and words and you hate it when you know they see it.
Eric Wong says,”Incidentally, being conversant in both languages (and culture), my opinion is that the Chinese language is more beautiful, and it is sad to see that the writer, coming from a good Chinese university, cannot appreciate what a rich culture China has, choosing instead to worship almost everything western.”
Ohhhhhhh! Wow!!! That is more ridiculous than anything the girl wrote. Like the girl will say “I choose a Chinese man because of the 5000 year glorious, harmonious Chinese history and it’s language.”
Forget about her and move on.
Haven’t you heard people say that Italy is the ‘China’ of Europe? :)
Dave, like I said to Eric… why do you have to denigrate others to make your points?
I’m not sure that helps… but here you go:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CqbZNHaf1o
hehe. I am enjoying it very much.
Gaoshan: It is not my intention to denigrate anyone or even a whole race of people, but since Italy was being mentioned
Quote “I’ve accepted that China is not Italy…” Unquote
hence, I just want to put things in perpective. The freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom to swim without Chinese farmers olging are not necessarily suitable for all of Earth, as preached by that great nation with the Statue of Liberty with one hand raised in the direction facing China, saying hello to it…hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Green Turd: I will appreciate it if you can be a little more correct with your punctuation, since you claim to be teaching. Good to hear that you love your life in China.
TuquefB: Your post, in song, music and dance, is by far the best.
The rest of you: Not worth my time replying…
Okie, folks…good luck.
Dave, you jumped when some facts about western men were pointed out by me. Your use of vulgar language here is absolutely disgusting…so much for the so-called civilised behaviour of western men, who open doors for others.
Your saying that Italy is the China of Europe suggests that the rest of Europe is superior to China. Maybe you should say that Europe is the countryside of China.
Mind you, there are lots of Chinese who have been to western countries who can tell the folks here how their backyards look like, eh? Tell me where you come from, and let me tell everyone something about your backyard vis-a-vis China, if you dare. hahahahahaaaaa
Eric Wong go back to your mom’s basement troll. People are entitled to feel how they wish. My wife is Chinese and her and her family both prefer me to Chinese men, because I am civilized. I don’t chew with my mouth open, I don’t spit, I don’t treat women like objects. Some Chinese men are great but most of you, have no idea how to be a gentleman. FACT.
Great blanket statement, Ray. Oh but hey, guess what: “My wife is Caucasian and her and her family both prefer me to Caucasian men, because I am civilized. I don’t chew with my mouth open, I don’t spit, I don’t treat women like objects. Some Caucasian men are great but most of you, have no idea how to be a gentleman. FACT.”
See, my statement is obviously baseless, and guess whose statement I see is also based on fallacies.
Scotland and bagpipes, where doest thou hail from?
There’s a 600 million Chinese men and she cannot find suitable one!
We all want better life, and we all want to get it on easy way. It is natural.
She talks about clean streets and air. In USA? LA, SF, NY,… Not so sure. I found Beijing to be cleaner than most of European cities (I spent just few days in SH, so I cannot say how clean is). To much western TV shows, definitely.
She would like saloon to talk with the friends, but forgets that she will not have friends in foreign country. Then, she cannot just talk with friends.She must to work. Maybe very hard, as 1000$ isn’t enough.
I wish her all the best in her life, but personal luck and happiness is something what we build not what we get.
Eric, if it isn’t your intention then do not do it. You won’t be able to raise the level of discussion until you can learn to be more fair in your thinking.
cry me a river!
Gaoshan …since when did you take it upon yourself to be fit to lecture me? Go and wash your face first before you are even fit to address me. You think you are a great intellectual of sorts, and you can raise the level of discussion?
Tell me in what way was I not being fair? Have you been to Italy? If you have, then you are certainly not fair enough to admit to what I rightly pointed out, to be fair to China.
Granted that this site has a lot of ‘civilised’ westerners visiting, I am game for any counter attack….but please don’t do it anonymously, hiding behind there. Tell me where you come from and let me tell everyone here something about your backyard, mate.
You are revealing yourself to be a less vulgar version of the “dave” commenter. I don’t think there is any point continuing a discussion with you given this.
Ha…you’re saying Dave is vulgar? That’s interesting. But I can pack a punch, and a heavy one at that to punch the wind out of you, without using vulgar words…eh?
…and for those listening in who might be interested, please read, if you will, my various rejoinders which were meant to put things in perspective, to be fair to China. I do not blame the young girl who has not seen the western world. What little she knows, she got it from Hollywood films. I could understand those angry comments coming in from presumably Chinese people. But what irritates me was when some people whom I presume are not Chinese tried to insult China and its people by comparing it with other countries. In that case, the only thing which is fair is to let everyone know something about their backyards….Italy, Los Angeles…even New York, London and of course, Scotland.
I’m with you on this Eric. I’m from India and having lived in China too i have seen a lot of asian bashing happening these days as if its something fashionable for these people to go on about.
We shall all cherish the freedom to pursue true love and eternal happiness. My advice, however, is that statistically she is better off to find an excellent but not yet rich chinese man and then they can build a successful future together in order to be able to settle down anywhere in the world they desire to.
Given her superficial knowledge about western men and western society and culture, it would be some major or even monumental task for her to find true love among western men.
Happiness is not free, and lasting love requires strong bond.
Eric you are not putting anything in “perspective”. And why do you think you need too?
I’m sure this girl would kill for all those handbags being thrown around by you ‘boys’.
The original article is a fake right?
It has never been written by a Chinese woman really interested by Westerners.
It is so much a regular cliché about differences between western and Chinese men…
If I was working for government and had the goal of flushing some oil on the Chinese nationalism fire, I would have wrote exactly this kind of article.
The author of this article actually obviously despises foreigners.
Boohoo
Eric is probably a monkey mainlander conscripted by the govt to spread the communist rhetoric throughout this thread. He tries to bate us into arguing with him so that he can get his Oxford English “idioms” worked into sentences to denigrate the “western” posters.
When he is not outside “reciting” words in public he is eating hot pot with his buddies picking his nose and talking about how great China’s 5,000 year history is (with one pant leg pulled up and clear socks).
Maybe he was in Milan with the other monkeys pulling out Chinese flags and assaulting Italians until he got his head cracked by some Milanese police who not so politely reminded him that despite he and the other thousand law breaking Chi Mates waving red flags, that this was still Italy.
Its not wonder this chick likes us better, and for good reason. Even the fattest ignorant red neck is eons above a Chimatron in terms of class.
Are you insinuating that all Chinese men are, say, eons below the fattest ignorant red neck? This is a genuine question, as I am not familiar with the term Chimatron. Though in context, it may refer to the conscript you mentioned earlier.
Please dont say “like us better” when you are not one of the “us”. You are just a pathetic idiot with identity crisis.
Here’s a stupid question. If she moves to America, how is she going to sit in her salon and talk to her friends all day? Won’t they be in China? American women work
Having been born in the U.S. and incidentally, still living in it, I can say with confidence that quite a lot of American women do not work. You’ve got to understand that laziness is a universal affliction.
I do not intend to direct animosity at you.
I think 马俊豪 is right on the money here. Even if a girl was so naive and misguided about the west, would she really feel the need to say so many bad things about her countrymen on the net?
Got to be a troll.
hahahahaaaaaa. I am enjoying it very much. Here’s another ‘civilised’ clown from the west, an idiot to wit, praising my impeccable Oxford English idioms. Readers, please note that his cowardly name is fcuk da lu ren, which means fcuk Chinese mainlanders. So, see for yourself how ‘civilised’ some westerners can be. Opening doors for others? This is what I call hypocrisy, a label which was surprisingly earlier foisted on such a good guy like me. Oh my good lord!
As expected, he did not dare to reveal from where he cometh. Anyway, this kind of cowardice is not unusual. I once had an encounter with one of these western ‘gentleman’ in MAINLAND. You nah, that fella was shivering in his pants in front of me. Face to face with me, he probably wished that his mother was around. Oh yeah, he was a head taller than me and had arms longer than a gear, hanging limply like monkey’s arms.
I respect Vikram’s courage to at least identify where he comes from.
Hear! Hear! You westerners will pay a high price for your arrogance with the rise of India and China. I have already seen not a few western men working for Chinese….and for me. Sad to say, they didn’t seem quite as fluent in English inside the meeting room. What a shame!
I wonder why fcuk da lu ren is in MAINLAND? Maybe he knows that he is a nobody back home. There is, amongst others, an exit point at Pudong, for him to get out and lost. He can always return to his ‘civilised’ country, to sunbath in the nude, in the knowledge that no one will look at him (he’s after all only a road-sweeping commoner over there, and in China anyway), to enjoy his Hollywood dream home (Note: DREAM), and have some trysts with western prostitutes (lots of them there) with his socks concealed, of course. God has no place in western societies. 哎！ 太可惜，真地太可惜！
You are stupid enough to buy his thoery. He is not from west.
This conversation has gone off the rails. Being “civilized” has nothing to do with what happened in 2,000 years ago in Greece, India, or China. I doubt most people from any country really have much in common with their cultural ancestors anyway, or knowledge for that matter. How many Westerners can really discuss the Peloponessian War or Chinese, the 8th century battle of Talas with Persia that may have led to the spread of paper? Few, but not many.
And who rates the opposite sex on that stuff anyway? Her point is valid. For whatever reason, mainland Chinese men, on average, seem to be less romantically suave(although they can be decent, kind husbands/boyfriends) or seductive than Western men. Until very recently the West put a greater emphasis on individual vanity, etc. It’s just more emphasized there. That’s probably changing now for the next generation in China. And I can admit, as a white American, that other cultures beat us on this. Yes, Brazilian or Italian guys really are more “romantic” than us, partly bc of different values and priorities. I can accept that.
Bottom line, having a great, ancient civilization and a beautiful language is fine. but, in terms of women, there are some real differences b/w Chinese and Western men.
1) Western men are much more likely to intervene to help a stranger. Chilvary, while often absent in the West, seems totally dead in China. Bystanders can be callous everywhere, but how many times have you seen a woman being robbed (or beaten when driving a bus) and Chinese men just standing there? Much more often than American men would.
2) Hobbies- Chinese dudes, get out of the internet cafes. Go to the gym. Or something. Anything else. Women do not care about online games.
3) Act confident without being just arrogant. Really, there’s something indefinably nervous and awkward about A LOT of Chinese guys. Work on that. Try to copy Tony Leung or Chow Yun Fat. There is an innate type of coolness mixed with playfullness that Asian guys can have in theory.
4) Accept that Chinese women are changing. Don’t bitch about how city girls aren’t virgins at marriage, or don’t have traditional values, etc, etc. Get over it and change. For some reason, Chinese women seem to adapt to new forces much faster than men.
5) Manners- this is getting better, but spitting, picking your teeth, etc. I guess that’s fading away, but there’s still a lot of just bad public behavior. She’s right about KFC and public dignity.
That’s all I can think of. Point is, lashing out at Western society, prostitutes, or ancient Greece versus ancient China is pointless. the only goal here is to find out what women want and try to be that.
I wonder if western men will ride on their white horses to the rescue of a damsel in distress in Napoli (Naples), Los Angeles, New York, et al….hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Tried as I did to correct Western arrogance, I only receive even more. What do I have to say to someone who is so myopic and whose command of Oxford English is so poor that he cannot understand what has been written above.
Nothing.
By the way, I am not a Mainlander, certainly not conscripted…but I just cannot stand by and watch how arrogant and prejudiced SOME western men are. I am not saying that all western men are bad, though.
There was along the way some digression ….into benchmarking others, in particular Chinese, using Western principles of what is considered free, civilised and dignified. That was when I wrote to say my two cents worth. I have not for a moment lost the main theme of what that fictitious young woman want…a Hollywood style home bal bla bla….maybe some of you did, and went on squabble with me.
Expectedly, not a few western men such as the preceeding poster, became defensive, after the truth about their backyards was revealed for all to see.
You may pick your nose only inside your tiny toilets back home, but go and wash your face again and look at yourself in the mirror. You are not angels, mate. You think WE don’t know New York?
@ Eric Wong:
Dude, you started off quite reasonably but somehow death spiraled into a flaming monstrosity. One guy mentions Italy and Brazil in the context of “sunbathing” and you jump on him rattling off various points of Italian embarrassment (while insulting quite a few other countries in the process). Geez, man, why?
We all have our “fight-fire-with-fire” moments but you seemed to devolve into tit-for-tat ranting out of nowhere. I’m not even sure what Josh said was really condescending when he gave ample qualifiers that Westerners are far from perfect and quite calmly gave his thoughts on 1) Chinese society improving (with regards to people enjoying themselves like sunbathing) and 2) Chinese men in general may do well to go out and learn to be more assertive. But you dog-piled that and heaped insults on Italy with what seemed like minute provocation (not to mention the most tenuous of relevance to what Josh said).
It doesn’t take long for people to know fcuk da lu ren intentionally and shamelessly tries to get a rise out of other people with his comments, but, man, you started off so well. Now your comments are so full of vitrol you don’t seem much better than people like fcuk da lu ren, people who cannot seem to rise above their insecurities and feel compelled to sling hate to reassure themselves.
Your English definitely belies a healthy amount of Western education so I certainly hope you can calm down and 1) not play into the role of an insecure nationalistic fenqing (with better English), or 2) be the Chinese equivalent of ignorant, insecure, hate-mongering Westerners.
And again, I really don’t know what set you off on the whole initial Italy thing. I know I’m not the only person who thought you blew up out of nowhere.
@ Josh:
Just for the sake of conversation…
2. Ironically, Asian girls generally play online games far more than their Western counterparts. Some of it has to do with it being a cheap and convenient avenue of escapism. That said, while Chinese guys can do quite a bit of socializing with real girls online (where both parties feel less shy behind a monitor/keyboard), I agree that many should work on real-life social skills.
3. Yes, this is just a basic rule for all men, nay, all humanity in general. Just be confident in oneself. Everyone has insecurities, but part of the reason people are attracted to confident people is because we admire those who have the qualities we lack.
4. I think socio-economics play into why women may adapt to or be more willing to adapt to Western social dynamics. I feel bad for the guys and while they do have certain legitimate gripes, sitting around whining about it isn’t going to improve their situation just like whining about “hurt feelings” doesn’t garner much international sympathy for China whenever they play that card politically.
5. I think the manners issue is not so much about Western vs. Chinese but rather about socio-economic status. Poor people tend to exhibit more “uncouth” and “uncivilized” behaviors/habits than their better-off counterparts, both in China and in other countries. Within context of China’s modern history and general poverty, it is frustrating but a bit unfair to expect them to have the same manners and sensibilities as citizens of societies that have been “modernized” for far longer. I mentioned this in another comment elsewhere in this site but I think it bears repeating. We have to be careful of associating certain behaviors with race rather than poverty.
hahaha….maybe I am masochistic and enjoy the bashing.
Since Italy was mentioned, so I kind of wrote my version of what that fictitious Chinese girl wrote about China. I am sure a lot of us here suspect that it was written by a western man, no less.
The tit-for-that was really fun.
If you read what Josh wrote today, you can clearly see how he tries again to define China, and in the process, insult its people, using his own valoue systems. Bad Bad. So, I don’t think I need to reply to you, since he already had.
This girl is an out and out materialistic slut.
As a Western guy, this is the kind of money-grubbing whore I detest. To begin with, what about equality? She assumes that a man has to provide everything for her; a huge house, a car (obviously she cares nothing for the environment either), fine wines. Hah! Ever thought about getting off your lazy, ho ass and earning some cash to pay for these things yourself. Your ideas of gender roles are positively Victorian, bitch.
To the Chinese guys reading this, I say breathe a huge sigh of relief that you won’t have to marry a bitch like this. I know you guys are mostly OK and have stronger family values than this boot!
A humorous hypothetical: I’m a Chinese American, so my chances of getting hooked up with this gal is 50/50, am I right? Insert awkward chuckle here!
Did anyone notice her statement saying that the U.S. has universal health care? I haven’t had any health insurance for years now. Pitiful really, here’s a toast to me not getting pancaked between two SUVs in the near future.
@ Eric Wong:
Wow, there are better people to pick on than Josh, better comments to tear apart than his, and far better ways to communicate than your’s.
It is clear you have no idea how disappointing you’ve become to those of us who thought you wrote reasonable and balanced initial comments. Now you’re coming off as a prick and the worst part is you choosing to embrace it in the most cocksure fashion possible. Whatever semblance of reason and respect you first garnered is now lost. That really sucks and there’s not much reason for me to try to continue imploring you to stay within the realm of rational discourse and mutual respect.
I know in your heart you feel “they” disrespected “you” first but, wow…I…I don’t know what to say really. For someone who has traveled so much and has had so much cross-cultural education, I expected better of you. You’re so dead-set on trying to make others see their own dirty laundry, you’re not pausing much to see how much of an ass you’re being and how similar you’ve become to them.
If I, as a Chinese person, had to choose to feel insulted, I’d feel more insulted by your flag-bearing for the Chinese than what Josh has said trying to suggest how Chinese men can get more ass.
Best of luck, mate.
“Had he known you were like this, your dad should have held back three seconds so he could ejaculate onto the wall instead, to save me from being pissed off today because of you, wasting my time to replying to this post.”
Haha…really, that is the funniest comment on this whole page.
She kind of implies that she would rather marry a dishwasher in McDonalds than a rich Chinese businessman. Surely this is a fabricated post? Really, who would bother posting this shit with some old snaps cadged off the internet? Come on! Pull yourselves together people!
Eric, I wasn’t trying to define China. I was talking about how Chinese men relate to women. There’s no good or bad about it- it’s just important if you care about the opinion of some Chinese women. I doubt the first Chinese guy to just spacewalk cares. and so what? he’s a badass who WALKED IN SPACE! To hell with what women think right? But… if you do care, then it’s a valid discussion. And you can scream about this all you want, but it is true that many women in the West and in China are not turned on by the average Chinese man. I’m sorry. It’s just true. I’m not making this up. But so what? If you’ve got the right stuff, doesn’t matter who you are. I’m sure a guy like Chow Yun Fat can have any woman he wants. Because as an individual he is a very sexy man.
More importantly, lighten up. Seriously. More Chinese need to learn to laugh at themselves. I can laugh at the image of clumsy white guys like me on the dance floor. Or our ridiculous U.S. president. I’m tired of any criticism of any aspect of China being taken by many Chinese people as a vicious attack on the entire country. I can sit around with Russians, Germans, Nigerians Brazilians, whoever and openly discuss our countries’ flaws, calmly like adults. But not with Chinese. It’s like talking to a teenage girl about her boyfriend- who’s perfect in every way, and if you don’t see it that’s because “you don’t understand.” China is not perfect. Westerners can be arrogant and ignorant when they criticize it. But not always. It’s a sign of national confidence, when people can laugh at themselves. I’m still proud of my country, but it’s not perfect. And neither is its culture. And neither is yours. or anybody else’s. No one thinks of great British cuisine, or orderly Italian traffic, or honest Russian government, or fast white sprinters. And, I’m sorry, women do not think of the Chinese as great lovers. That’s not an insult to the worth of the entire Chinese people. It’s just a stereotype. If a Chinese man knows he’s sexy, then good for him. But if thinks he’s not, getting mad at “arrogant Westerners” isn’t going to help.
also, Kai. yes I agree that my points were probably more about socio-economic status. What I’ve read of pre-1948 Shanghai revealed a suave, cultured kind of guy that got either thrown out or “re-educated” since then. I think spending 40 years elevating peasant/worker culture above all else didn’t help. This may sound harsh, but I think until very recently Communist China was a peasant culture, aside from a few elites. So, since that’s changing quickly, I’m sure the rest will catch up. Oh, and one other thing, the girl mentioned something about physical size. Same thing- to some extent, now, better diet, more exercise will change that too. So, no, I don’t think it’s permanent racial reality.
@Josh : clap clap clap : you’ve said it all.
Looking at the way some chinese people feel the urge to defend “Chinese people” is really making my point that this original post was written on the very point to lighten up nationalism among the masses…
Poor thing . She needs to get in touch with Reality.
@ Eric Wong
I’m with you on this 1
He’s pure white trash Probably the kind of guy you’re likely to meet @ wimdows too (Cheap drinks shithole).
yeah, reality will be when she gets kicked around, used, and thrown out by a Western guy who looks for girls like her. I hate seeing attractive Chinese girls with ugly or bad Westerners.
@Josh
I found that Chinese people (Beijing ones) likes to help people. They helped me many times. Mostly older people. Younger ones just care about themself.
Kai…first of all, I am not so sure if you are Chinese, as you claimed. That picture there proves nothing, eh?
I am glad you wrote “you’re not pausing much to see how much of an ass you’re being and how similar you’ve become to them. ” So these people are, after all, ASS. hehe. Okie, I shant be an ass anymore. Happy? Not need to implore me anymore, eh?
Truth be told, I can be very reasonable and maintain good balance in what I say. Writing about Italy was not an attack on Italy per se, but to remind some westerners to not preaching to others from on high. Unfortunately Italy was singled out and that’s because someone mentioned her. And unfortunately, we are dealing with abnormal psychology here. It is difficult to maintain a resaonable conversation with people who are insecure, have an inferiority complex back home, and who are bent on repeating anti-Chinese sentiments., while continuing to eat hot pots.
I repeat that I am not a Chinese citizen, nor am I a citizen of any country in the west. But when some western people who have been cultivated to use vulgar language (and you are not too far off there), I have no choice but to give it back to them as hard…not so much as in tit-for-tat…but to expose their hypocrisy. This is what I call maintaining a good balance in a very prejudiced barrage of vulgar comments.
Whatever it is, I have yet to use a single vulgar word, unlike others including you who tried to use it, albeit in an euphemistic and feeble manner.
马俊豪…I am not sure if you are right about the government wanting to inflame nationalistic whatever you call it. The reality is that the standard of English amongst Chinese still has a lot of catching up to do. This is why we are not seeing any participation from Chinese. As far as I saw, the initial comments coming from whom we are supposed to believe to be Chinese were short, presumably due to a lack of ability to write well in English.
My feeling is that the article was written by some western men, who had stayed long enough in China…
After reading through that article and all the foregoing comments/whinnings/mud-slingings/insults which followed, my conclusion is that half the Chinese people (sub-text: Chinese men) are perceived by some western men to be uncouth, uncivilised, and uncultivated, while the other half who grew up under the same system are perceived to be worth dating or marrying. hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So, about 50% of Chinese are at least considered quite modern and civilised. hehe
@Eric
RE: “It is difficult to maintain a resaonable conversation with people who are insecure, have an inferiority complex back home, and who are bent on repeating anti-Chinese sentiments.”
Reading from an objective standpoint in that I’ve not taken part in this forum-battle thus far, I would say that your comments are the ones which indicate the behavior you’re mentioning as being “difficult to maintain a reasonable conversation with”. In fact, you are clearly the one with an inferiority complex..’tit-for-tat’ing your way into a hole. Why are you so bent on deflecting ANY and ALL criticism of generalities experienced by both foreign men, foreign women, and Chinese women regarding Chinese men?
Certainly not all guys fit stereotypes above. I would say the same about foreign guys. In fact I think the majority of foreign guys bumming around China are wastes of skin. That being said – speaking purely on percentiles, in my experiences many women from all racial/nationality backgrounds are simply _more attracted_ to foreign men. Specifically foreign white men, but some girls “dare” to hang out with black guys too….and quite frankly, the ones I know who have had foreign boyfriends *do not go back*.
This is not only true in China, but Chinese women from other countries also. My friend in Australia is ethnic Chinese but born and raised in Australia – she came to China for a year and, in her words, finds “mainland men disgusting”. I have some cool friends – Chinese guys – very cool guys..definitely good catches for any woman lucky enough, but these are a rare find in such a sea of peons.
It’s ridiculous for you to take any criticism on a forum so personally, well, unless of course you fit the stereotype and such comments hurt you so much you cried yourself to sleep post-read. Your labels of anyone who disagrees with you as being an arrogant westerner on a soap-box…well, sorry to say, don’t hold up. You’re the one on a soap-box. That all being said, I hope you find a lovely Chinese man that makes you very happy.
@Eric : You might be right, but I wonder why would a 老外 write an article in Chinese, pretending to be a gorgeous Chinese student. It doesn’t make any sense, does it ?
btw, I’m not chinese even though i borrow Chow Yun Fat’s character name :)
Eric Wonge wrote, “As expected, he did not dare to reveal from where he cometh. Anyway, this kind of cowardice is not unusual. I once had an encounter with one of these western ‘gentleman’ in MAINLAND. You nah, that fella was shivering in his pants in front of me. Face to face with me, he probably wished that his mother was around. Oh yeah, he was a head taller than me and had arms longer than a gear, hanging limply like monkey’s arms.”
Please tell us more of this story. It sounds like you are a superhero.
马俊豪…hahaha…how sure are you that a laowai wrote it in Chinese and got it translated? As far as I see it, it could well have been written by a laowai in English, with some deliberate but minor errors in English grammar/spelling to lend authenticity….
…and I know you ain’t Chinese. Nobody here seems to be, including me.
As I said, more than a billion voices are unheard here, since most of them dun write good enough English to actively participate. Otherwise, you would be reading more hard-hitting replies than I have ever posted.
Rick…hahaha. Another clown. Oh my god. You call yourself objective? You nah, ya reek of racism.
I wonder from which book of research you quoted your statistical percentile. Nothing irritates me more than BULL-SHIT but I shant cry myself to sleep over people like you.
@Eric
Clearly you’re not reading. I said as a percentage – of my experience. It is not I who is the clown, sir, and you’re making that very clear for everyone here to see. Reek of racism – impossible – I hate all races equally including my own. One major difference is that idiots like you make the world think that yours seems not be able to take any criticism without getting your mini-me sized ginch in a twist.
Rick…oh, pardon my ignorance. But I was mesmerised by your use of high sounding statistical jargon, you see.
For the record, can you show me where in any textbook of statistics is it written that percentage has the same meaning as percentile? Is percentile a subset of perentage? Oh my good lord!
Whatever…did I read you correctly when you wrote that you hate all races? You’d better seek pyschiatric help. You are dangerous, including to yourself.
In contrast, I love all races, eh!
@Eric
When you begin to argue minor semantics as a foundation to proving some kind of point which nobody else really gets, you need to retire.
“I can’t be a racist, I hate all races equally” is a common – well, commonly understood phrase which counters the whole “You’re a racist!” whine by soap-box heroes such as yourself. Removing the “equally” from the sentence changes the implied meaning – in fact – hating all races equally does not differ from loving all races equally, Eric. But I suppose that is also semantics, and your understanding of language is obviously far superior than others, so I’ll let you decide where to shove my explanation.
wow! you are a master of playing with words indeed. But unfortunately you can’t deny those racist remarks you made earlier on.
@ Eric Wong:
Wow, you’re clever. Point your clever little finger over my name here, click on it, and go visit http://www.cnreviews.com which I occasionally blog for.
You ignoring all of the relevant points of my comment towards you only to focus on my gravatar as to question my race has got to be the most boneheaded maneuver I have seen in a LONG time. What are you? A child? Was your first thought “omg, he doesn’t agree with me, he must not be Chinese!”
Right, Eric, I just sport this “fake” gravatar because pretending to be Chinese is the latest cool thing to do. I must secretly be some other non-Chinese race but felt so utterly insecure about who I am that I had to search far and wide on the internet to find some random Chinese guy’s picture and use it to represent my presence across the internet.
Or maybe it really is just me, in Lan Kwai Fong, in Hong Kong.
Did you replace an understanding of Occam’s Razor with the misguided notion that your less-than-admirable attitude in what has now become the majority of your comments here is somehow making the world a better place by “exposing their hypocrisy” or “maintaining a good balance?”
Eric, you’re not maintaining a good balance. You’re contributing to the noise and problem that perpetuates misunderstandings, resentment, and hatred between the two cultures. It doesn’t matter if you haven’t used a single vulgar word to express yourself. All it means is you knowing how to be an ass with deft prose.
Be that it may that there are Western idiots and racists, that doesn’t excuse your own willing descent into the same douchebaggery, nor does it reflect well upon the Chinese people you think you’re fighting for. The most hard-hitting responses I’ve read from the Chinese sound nothing like what you’ve written. Your comments thus far are far closer to an insecure fenqing rant than an intelligent, constructive rebuttal to points actually relevant to the discussion. Seriously, in feeding the trolls, you’ve become one yourself.
Eric, look in the mirror. You’re over-compensating.
Bye.
@Eric,
I love guys like you. Calling me out as some fat loser westerner? Even if I was at least I am not a da lu ren. Better a hairy fat foreigner than a 3rd grade educated Chi Mate.
You had guys “shaking in your boots?” hahha, maybe if you had about 30 guys behind you which is the only way in which chimatrons fight. I also really love how you can talk so tough online but the truth of the matter is, most chinese cower like little women when faced with prospect or a mammoth fist in the mouth.
I’d be happy to meet you any time and place with or without gloves ;)
@Kai,
Thought we had come to a better understanding but if you want to lump me into the troll group that is fine, I guess I am, but I am still right :) Chinese men are like junior high kids that do not wash their hair. They really dont know much but think they have it all figured out. And they don’t know how to treat women at all for sure. Otherwise they wouldn’t be coming to us ;)
What’s wrong with da lu ren? They’re not any worse than western people. They both have excellent qualities. However, you seem to represent one of the many dregs of western society, while Dave does the same for the Chinese.
Also, I suppose you guys can’t treat your women, because I see western gals flocking to Chinese guys.
I dont understand why people react on this desperate idiot – i bet if you know where he is from you will laugh your ass off.
Anyway i shall not waste time here in this thread, it is just a fake or stupid article being discussed by people who have too much time.
Sorry by desperate idiot I meanFcuk Daluren.
Sorry by desperate idiot I mean this guy :
fcuk da lu ren
Kai, you’re writing to yourself or about yourself?
I didn’t want to reply to your earlier post about the reason for Chinese spending more time than Americans on the net…and your other BS. That probably got your head swollen thinking that your sermon imparted profound wisdom.
From that piece of rubbish, I concluded you knew precious little about the Chinese people.
I have seen too many of your type: basically insecure, socially inept, and introverted. These kind of people speak very loudly on sites like this, just like you and a few others…but take them out from their little closets, and we’ll see a bunch of monkey-arms swinging cowards, crying mama.
@Kai,
Let me take this for you. Eric you are a loser, your gf probably left you for a white guy.
In a few minutes you are going to post a long rant about how I hide behind words blah blah blah. Its ok though, you can cry. Let it out
fcuk…you want a fight? Hear! hear! Don’t try and show me your martial arts, please. I can defeat you with my words here alone, but that said, I can understand why you therefore wish to resort to physical violence. That, after all, is part of western “gentleman”’s behaviour and confirms all the hypocrisy which I have been trying to get some of you to admit to. But alas! I am talking to people who are bent on thinking that their backyards don’t stink.
By the way, I know of a lot of western women who prefers Asian men to Western ones…I am sure you are aware of that, unless you, as usual, choose to deny it as vehemently as you feebly can, replete with vulgarities.
Kai: Let me take this for you. Eric you are a loser, your gf probably left you for a white guy.
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa>>>>>><<<<<<<
No, it was a white gal who left a white guy for a black man
@ fcuk da lu ren:
LoL, our understanding is that your name and comments are intentionally inflammatory (which is what trolls do), and I know you’re not going to change. I’m not going to beat my head into the wall trying to wrestle a troll into submission. The only reason I’ve initially entertained Eric Wong was because his first few comments actually seemed mature and reasonable. Who would’ve thought someone mentioning Italy as a place where people often sunbathe without anyone giving it much thought was going to change Eric Wong into such a stark-raving lunatic? I think both you and I can agree his panties got into a mighty big twist seemingly out of nowhere and now he’s on a misguided crusade to set everyone in their place. Apparently, that includes demanding that I change my racial identity.
Like me, you must be astounded by how furiously he’s digging himself into hole after hole. Case in point:
Eric Wong: I didn’t want to reply to your earlier post about the reason for Chinese spending more time than Americans on the net…and your other BS.
Forbes: Chinese Surpasses U.S. in Internet Use
SEOmoz/CNNIC: China: Ten Things You Should Know About an Online Superpower
I may not know everything there is to know about Chinese people, but one thing is for sure: I know more than this wanker.
Oh, and I think “BS” falls into the category of “vulgarities,” right?
Anyway, let’s just ignore the guy.
Kai: hope you will be a little more correct with your grammar. Reason and Because don’t go together. I usually ignore minor typo errors, I made them too, but not this kind, eh?
That said, I see not need for those links. Are you trying to wriggle out of where thou has erred? Please read again. I said:
about the REASON for Chinese spending more time than Americans on the net…and your other BS
Hence, I was refering to the REASON you offered as concrete evidence of your ignorance. But do yourself a favour and re-read the rest of the rubbish written by you, and after that, come up with better excuses, if you must.
That part on internet usage was not all I wanted to say, eh?
Having said that, I know that, unlike you, I am mature and reasonable. Can you tell me something which I don’t know?
Naturally, when people like you start getting too smart by half, I am left no choice but to put you back into your hole.
Your grammar is atrocious, exponentially more so than his. Let’s refrain from ad hominem attacks.
Why would this girl want to sunbathe in a bikini if she’s afraid of becoming a ‘dark-skinned granny’ by walking to work? The article isn’t consistent which leads me to think that it’s a load of b0ll0cks.
Yes, it was not consistent from the word “Go”
It was written by some western bird brain just to banter … these people are basically inept and awkward in social circles. They live in a sad world of their own.
@above posts mentioning Eric’s girlfriend
Haven’t you figured it out yet? Chinese men are Eric’s clear preference. You can tell by his phraseology and admiration of the Mainlander that he has drank way, way too much cum, in fact, some of his imbalance may be directly related to estrogen medication as he tries to grow tits to match his big gaping vag.
hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
So now, you are indeed a true blue vulgar white man. No wonder the white gals are marrying the black and yellow men.
Eric,
Destroy me with your words? Typical, you along with all of the other Chimates can’t refute the truth that is presented to you about your own kind. Unlike mainlanders (notice I don’t include ALL Chinese) we “whites” are able to face critisisms and dish it back out a bit while taking it a bit.
Actually I’m partially Asian so your “fat white guy” “gentlemen” arguements are a bit out the window. Not that you could differentiate any “whites” apart from their various countries and cultures anyway.
You are the one who threw out the bravado of being tough and how you made “gorilla armed” white men shake in their boots. I am just letting you know that if you have the testicular fortitude to back it up, I would be happy to give you the platform. However, knowing your anatomical make up especially in that region, I am sure you will not take up the challenge, there fore you are officially PWNED.
@Kai,
You got me I am a bit of a troll. Just letting it fly. BTW, do you think Fauna would help me to post a story I need to write in some of the blogs about “crazie craze” a stalker that has chased me for three years? Its a pretty good one
fcuk….you are getting demented.
About time to ignore people like you. You ask for a fight, when you assume you are bigger, but will pee with your pants on in Los Angeles when you see Black Amercans, eh? As I said, people like you are cowards, and that is why you resort to brute force. Anyway, in my encounter with that white idiot, I did not have to lift a finger to make him shiver in his pants. My sheer intellect was enough. It was a pity that, like you, he “grew a head, but his mother forgot to give him a brain”
Okie folks, I give up re-educating some of you. Got to pack my bags for a trip. Don’t you try and hit me behind my back, eh? So far, this debate had been many against one, so that’s some bullying. But I can hold my own quite well against all of you. Shame to you.
@ Ann
Thank you for being one of the few voices of reason here. My Chinese friend had just come back from Chongqing, where he encountered a cook who told his father, “I can tell you are from overseas.” His father responded “How? I am as dark as you are.” The cook said “yes, but your skin is far too clean.” My friend then realised that everyone around him had very uneven skin tone, possibly due to vast amounts of pollution.
I think that it is very fair that this girl wishes for a place that wasn’t so polluted or densely populated. Also, as an educated individual, she has every right to want a man that is not only genteel, but someone whom she can rely on as an intellectual equal. If it were a university-educated woman from the West, most people would chide her for marrying a nouveau riche with no education, the same kind of men that this girl is speaking of.
China today is not the China of the Cultural Revolution. My mother would constantly comment that China, while poor, had a gentler people back then and that people of today are ill-mannered. My cousin from Hong Kong was so incensed by a mainlander who spit on the sidewalk during the SARS epidemic that he started yelling and ranting at him for not knowing a sense of civic duty. The dirty mainlander had the audacity to yell back at him.
All in all, I feel sorry for this girl. My mother’s cousin, who just came to the US, has a similar misconception that b/c she is making more money than she would at home, that she is somehow rich. We all live in the San Francisco Bay Area, one of the most expensive places in the US and she still has not grasped the idea of “standard of living.” It is beautiful, clean, and the people are kind and happy. All this comes at a price but honestly, it is the epitome of the American dream.
Also, shame on all you men for reducing this to a pissing contest. The girl may be naive but if you could get past your hurt egos, you’d probably want some of the same things she does too. Do you not want a woman who is civilized and whom you can discuss your dreams and concerns with? Do you not want to live in an area that is clean and safe and the people have a sense of community?
This poor girl, lost about life elsewhere. But do we not all have the same trouble. I read here and elsewhere constantly about not lowering one’s self or poor people. Writing your true feelings, those kept hidden inside in a nameless blog is harmless at best. Why so much uproar because most of it is true. I am from Australia, live in Shanghai, work in Shanghai and play here. I hate nothing more than standing fifth in a line to suddenly have a dozen if not 50 bloody people push their way in front, but not just men girls also, more likely. But thats China and you take the good with the bad. I find this girls comments amazing where can I meet nice well educated Chinese girls? I only ever come apon girls looking for their next job or someone out to make a quick buck, all get turned away. I was working here on off met a girl and came to China looking to marry my love of several years, but one visit to the mother and it was all over, not Chinese not good enough. We all have a rating and a list of requirements, just most of us are tactfull about how we order from the menu. Give the girl a break.
I’d be interested to see what Chinese men think of foreign and Western women. Anyone got any thoughts? Keep it civil please!
@ fcuk da lu ren:
Uh, how would I know if Fauna would help you with a post?
@ Chinamerican:
I’m not sure who you’re referring to when you say “all the men” but I do most of the people who have criticized the Jiaotong girl for writing this are criticizing her stunning ignorance and blind worship of all-things-western (if not contempt for all-things-Chinese). Many of them grant her and everyone’s right to pursue their own dreams and make their own decisions in life about whom to love and what to aspire to. But, they do rightfully and reasonably take issue with her possibly wholesale denigrating her own kind.
Of course, we can safely say she’s merely highlighting the worst and generalizing, fully aware that not ALL Chinese men/people are as she has lambasted, but I think the combination of her ignorance of the West/Westerns combined with her seemingly elitist/arrogant attitude is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Being angry at her doesn’t mean one doesn’t want a better China, better living conditions, or more “genteel” Chinese men like she does.
This might give some balance to a part of the debate. http://www.thecrimson.com/article.aspx?ref=505720
Harvard Med School research indicating that Western men are more obsessed with muscular images than Taiwanese men.
“American, Austrian, and French men thought women would prefer men who were 20 to 30 pounds more muscular than average. Taiwanese men described an ideal man who was only 10 pounds more muscular than average.”
“If you think back to the Olympics, Greek or Roman sculptures, or about Norse gods, Western culture has traditionally associated muscularity with masculinity,” said Yang. “In China, Confucius—when he wrote about the ideal gentleman—placed more value on literary ability and cultural attainment.”
Leads to body image issues and steroid abuse, problems which don’t exist much outside the West. Just food for thought.
Yes. The modern conception of what is beautiful and sexy is heavily influenced or dominated by the West. Given the West’s still dominant global status, they indeed get to make the rules. Therein, however, lies the implicit fact that things have, can, and likely will change over time as different civilizations, cultures, and societies wax and wane in their might, whether it be militarily, politically, economically, or culturally. The world may buy into Hollywood movies but they also buy into Japanese animation.
I think, historically, a good physique and cultural refinement both conveyed means of providing for one’s family. A good physique can imply both an ability to work and health. Cultural refinement can imply intelligence, wealth, and status. All of these things are attractive to women, perhaps in different proportions depending on social-economic caste. Now that we live in an age where earning money intelligently has long surpassed hard labor, a good physique is presented as a representation of having the means for leisure and self-fulfillment…and sure, a nice body is still physically stimulating and understandably separate from whatever might intellectually stimulate a woman.
I think people need to be careful about viewing these things as a function of race rather than socio-economics. Had Chinese society underwent the Industrial Revolution first or otherwise bothered to span the globe with their ambitions, what we think as being “hot” today may be very different. However, they didn’t…but you never know when the paradigm shifts.
@Josh
You also should consider that the average in different societies is significantly different. In North America, for example, I fit in with a relatively fit but quite average body in terms of size – 6′1 185, athletic build, but here, it’s relatively huge.
@Kai
I think the important factor here is that neither is more important than the other, and all women have different tastes. The misunderstanding of which is more important is subjective and usually more on the “what I don’t have” from the perspective of men – with physical being the more desired trait, being that the physical but dumb may not be intellectual enough to consider their need for intellect. The fact is people are almost always attracted to something abnormal. Western men *in* China are not normal, they might be seen as a prize, a change from the norm. The moment something is rare, it is seen as having more value…including humans and human traits or abilities, and that is often sought after with or without conscious desire.
@ Rick in China:
I reiterate that what is commonly perceived as “attractive” or “desirable” is a function of socio-economic status (both by what is observed and by the observer) rather than race.
With regards to your comments, rarity alone does not seem to account for why Asian men are less sought after by Western women than Asian women are sought after by Western men. Relationships between Asian men with Western women are rarer, right? But I don’t think anyone sees that as having more “value,” except perhaps for Asian males who feel they’re underdogs and such a “conquest” defies modern global trends.
I also think “people are always attracted to something abnormal” is a bit too bold of a statement but I think I understand your intent. Anyway, I do agree that different people have different tastes but I don’t think it is wrong to acknowledge that there are trends. What I’ve said before certainly qualifies as legitimate sociological phenomenon. The important thing is to not just sit around being upset about it, but to grow up and learn to live with it or even change it (whining does not constitute change).
stupid ignorant woman, there are too many in the world. There is another 500million woman in china and she think she should be treated any different? Get a life slut
I am a chinese girl who lives in the US since I was 17…Now I am 26. I feel so sad to read this post. Admittly, there are things in her message that are true, like guys spitting in public. When I see those things, I feel disgusted, and I want to leave asap. And often, I wonder, how I can enjoy my life in China if one day I do go back there….and can I find a husband in China?
China is my country…and when I see things I don’t like in my own country…my first instinct is ..how do we improve the situation. I don’t know how this ’smart’ girl, who can see that so many things are wrong with China….and yet, she doesn’t have the slightest sense of responsibility to change it. Maybe things she sees are true, however, she never thought about the reasons behind it…the poverty in China, the history of china’s suffering…people’s emotions being surpressed for the longest time….all of these, accompanied with fast economic development made who China is today…
I have dated American, European and Chinese. They are all good guys with differences…however, I’d like to think that these differences are not country specific…they are simply different human beings..
She presented herself as an ignorant girl in this post. I don’t blame her….she is part of the China phenomenon..and she is brave enough to tell the truth..
Every society has it’s own problems, as Chinese…we don’t have to like the problems but we should love our country and its people.
More importantly-Make a difference.
@ Kai
I don’t see her so much arrogant as she is naive. It sounds like this girl has never been outside of China and that everything she gets is from popular, sanitized media. Seeing that she is only a university student, I take her tone as more weary and fearful of the future, rather than attacking Chinese men and society out of sheer malice.
As always, one should never tear down another person’s culture to elevate another’s and I think that is what she did here. However, I think that her situation does need to be put into context and that it needs to be approached with understanding rather than the characteristic knee-jerk nationalism that is so prevalent.
Muscular men is a new phoenomenon from posters selling fitness gyms, swim wear and Hollywood. Let’s go back to the not so distant past and look at some Hollywood icons, James Dean, Frank Sinatra, James Cagney, Henry Fonda were all modest size men good enough to be labled sexy. The 60’s singer Simon & Garfunkel and the Bettles were of slight and skinny built. In fact the hippie generation men were all very skinny. Size was not the determinant of masculinity now or ever. Neither is it the all time cultural standard of desirable male physique in the West.
As for interracial marriages, while there are more Asian women marry out, lately there are more Asian men marrying out as well. I believe partly it is because that women are more adaptable to change and willing to live by the new culture along with the old. Asian men generally seek wives who support and boast his ego and identity, either through the woman’s beauty or woman who lets him be the decider. Asian men have traditionally been more powerful a partner in marriage. Given the fact that Western women are more empowered, traditional Asian men are less attractive as marriage partner. With more educated second generation Asians living in U.S., more Asian men are crossing the boundary and marrying out. It is really a matter of finding commonality in interest and outlook on life between men and women. Physical attraction plays only a very small part and it does not last. A sad outcome of this kind of union is of the War brides from Japan and Korea. Very few marriage lasted once they comes home to U.S. with their G.I. husbands. The Opera about Madame Butterfly and Pinkerton is not too far from real life.
but what about the small chinese penis, white girl have big hole
LOL. I picture her in my head perfectly… 4.0 GPA. Pre-med.. Student “politician”.. wait cheerleader… *shrugs*
In other word… ONE STUCK-UP BITCH!
Let this stuck-up bitch get what she wants… They always do… Let her be some dude’s trophy wife…
What I’m trying to say is.. She’s nothing special.. Just another stuck-up girl.
LOL… Yeah. This is typical Chinese thinking…The west if paved in gold…
I hope the U.S. embassy will read this and be moved and let her emigrate to the States… I then I can finally find myself a hot wife, for cheap. She can marry a Mexican dishwasher.
Haha… not to make it sound like I even remotely care about this, but…
We need to pump more feminism into girls like her. (At the same time balance the extreme feminists with some of her) Don’t expect everything from the men, do it yourself if you want it that badly.
Yes… I’m talking like we can engineer the female or something… Wouldn’t that be great?
i am a foreigner living in china for the last 3 years.
1)does this girl know america and other european countries have the highest rates of divorces and wife beating!!!
2)though i am a foreigner i love my chinese gf to be independent thats y she does her own work/business everyday and so do i
3) we both travel in buses and walk when we dont have money
4) we both have skipped meals before so that our dog could get his vaccination !!
5) NOW DO U KNOW HOW FOREIGNERS ARE LIKE HAHAHA
not that im a bad man,, i love a girl and she loves me,,, is that more valuable than wine/wealth
This blog is mostly from guys who get their fix from attacking a dreamy young woman to boost their own self-esteem, calling her the worst degrading names, the equivalent of which I would not considering using on men). While her idealistic West is not the complete picture of Western society, it is at least more than half true. I supoose Chinese guys can never tolerate a liberated woman. This is nothing new in Chinese society, is it? It is no wonder more educated Chinese women prefer to stay unmarried. At the rates are going in China where boys are favored over girls, many of the men will find themselves without wifes. May be they will to change their tune and their attitude.
I am writing as a disgusted, liberated Chinese woman living in the West.
Liberated my ass. Damn girl still believes in finding a guy to provide these things. Maybe she should consider creating the lifestyle she dreams for herself.
Male chauvinists are terrible, and so are over-zealous feminists.
don’t act so high and mighty china! why would you put a plastic derivative (melamine) in baby formula and paint a toy w/ lead based paints? you know that lead based paints affects children in an adverse way. mixing a plastic w/ baby formula for human consumption is a despicable thing to do. the answer is greed , stupidity and callousness of you idiots . shut the fuck up china ! first of all, i would not want this stupid and materialistic CUNT of a girl . she would be best served as a WHORE. chinese girls are always about marrying into money. how about working hard and earning your own success for a change. immigration visa denied for U.S. entry . fucking whore !
@ Chinamerican:
We may differ on how we felt she came across, or how we interpreted her tone of voice. To me, she sounded very “imploring” and “dreamy,” amongst other things, including “arrogant.” The “I’m so much better than this and I deserve so much better than the rest of you” comes from the parts where she rhetorically asks if they would want her to lower herself to riding the bus or participating in a career fair.
We can call her “naive” if that’s an euphemism for “ignorant.” For someone who is in Jiaotong University, veritably one of China’s better higher institutions of learning veritably populated by some of China’s brightest and someone who is adept enough at lurking on the internet, there’s very little excuse for her to not have SOME inkling of the West not being so rosy for her to at least have qualified or balanced her essay of “the West is perfect.” My point here is that there is a point where one’s stupidity DESERVES contempt and ridicule. She crossed that line.
Again, in saying so, I am not begrudging her for wanting something better for herself or for her very legitimate observations of Chinese society’s present shortcomings. It is fully reasonable for me and others to criticize her for what she ought to be criticized for. She has judged others and she has come out to allow herself to be judged. Given that judgment by peers is something of an inescapable fact of life, I think it is fair for all of us reasonable people to accept this. I agree she isn’t saying these things out of sheer malice, but I do think there’s a good case to suggest she does so out of a unfair amount of disdain.
I’m not so sure she’s “weary and fearful of the future.” Maybe for HER future, yes, but there’s precious little in her rant to suggest she’s making an effort to encourage Chinese men and society to improve, unless you think parents belittling their kids in comparison to their classmates is a healthy and sure-fire way of boosting your child’s self-esteem and subsequent behavior.
I do feel her piece was written more out of self-interest than any altruistic notion of improving Chinese men and society. There is nothing wrong with her preferring Western men over Chinese men if that’s what tickles her pickle. What was wrong was how she expressed that sentiment. And if there was a crime for abject stupidity, she’s guilty of that too.
@ Ann:
Yes, there are some guys attacking her to boost their own self-esteem. But I don’t think you’re being very fair here or representative. The Jiaotong girl “boosted” her own self esteem and propped up her own self-worth by writing a long essay laughing at her classmates for becoming “dark-skinned grannies,” for riding the bus, for marrying Chinese men who might one day go out whoring and gambling. She, on the other hand, is so much more enlightened and intrinsically better than that, right?
She is not just “dreamy,” Ann. She’s deluded and woefully disrespectful of others. Being upset enough to criticize her audacity and shameless display of ignorance and disdain does not mean one is just “getting a fix” to “boost” their own self-esteem. Criticizing her for these things furthermore does NOT mean anyone is suggesting she NOT be a liberated woman.
I’m not sure if you’re doing this intentionally but you’re now trying to reframe this issue as some battle for women’s liberation in Chinese society. Shame on you. This has nothing to do with it, especially when so many people have clearly acknowledged her right to pursue her dreams. No one is trying to shackle her down or prevent her from going after the men she prefers. They’re giving her a reality check and reacting to what they interpret as her self-righteous arrogance. You’re being too sympathetic and you’re now using her as some poster child for women’s liberation?
Are you serious?
@ Ann:
Size was not the determinant of masculinity now or ever. Neither is it the all time cultural standard of desirable male physique in the West.
Correct, size is not the “all-time” cultural standard. However, it is incorrect to say that size was never a determinant of masculinity. Size VERY MUCH (and is) a determinant of masculinity for both men and women throughout history in many socio-economic strata. You saying “now or ever” is a bit too absolute there.
Oh jeebus, there’s more….
Asian men generally seek wives who support and boast his ego and identity, either through the woman’s beauty or woman who lets him be the decider. Asian men have traditionally been more powerful a partner in marriage.
You’re kidding me, right? How can this NOT also be applied to Western men, or more accurately, ALL HUMANITY much less just MEN in general? Haven’t Western men been traditionally the more powerful partner in marriage also?
Yes, we know the West underwent the women’s liberation over the past 50 years or so but even to this day, and God knows I studied a lot of women’s studies courses back in university but you highlighting Asian men here is a bit ridiculous, ESPECIALLY given the context of Western/white men often being attracted to Asian women (and men) for the stereotypical conception that Asian women are more passive, submissive, and deferential.
That’s not boosting their ego and identity?
I think your generalization of Asian men is not incorrect, but I respectfully take issue with leaving out the very true phenomenon of yellow-fever and the dynamics of Western-male-Asian-female attraction.
With more educated second generation Asians living in U.S., more Asian men are crossing the boundary and marrying out.
You’re overplaying this one. Yes, more second-generation Asian men in the U.S. may desire to marry out but that doesn’t mean they are meeting the same amount of success as their female counterparts. I personally don’t care either way, but I do care about you using statistical “exceptions to the rule” to bolster your position here.
Also, I believe physical attraction has A LOT to do with it. It is, far more often than not, the initial catalyst for interaction, long before both sides have the opportunity to discover their mutual “commonality in interest and outlook in life.” In this matter, documented sociological studies evidence that much of society currently regards “white” male as the ideal male object of attraction. Again, this is because of the current Western socio-economic and cultural dominance. Of course, I’m not saying ALL women will ALWAYS prefer a “white” male over a male of any other race but this IS a documented sociological trend mutually influenced and reinforced by mainstream society and media.
Ann,
What? So expressing my opinions that she is stuck up makes me what? Look up the definition of stuck-up. Which part does not apply to her?
I DO NOT get off on “attacking” her. I’m simply describing her using the best description that I know of her attributes. Jeez. Why are you so anti-everything? Negative much? I would say the same to anyone similar to her. Note, this is not because my inadequacies due to her preference of western men. It’s not that. I believe in the right of everyone to love the person they choose. Rather, what I’m pissed off about is her whole: “I’m fucking better than you,” to paraphrase, – attitude. I think that is sick… A very sick attitude. Nothing sexy, or liberating, about that. So you either want independent from the male, which is fine with me, but you cannot have your cake and eat too! That is, wanting independence yet make the accusation of inadequate provision.
Anyone can be my guest and take her. Good luck with your marriage.
Didn’t this appear on the 88s blog about a year ago? He translated this into English, but I don’t think you copied his translation, since he is/was? a native English speaker. No one knows what became of his blog, afaik.
Good afternoon to anything and everything that moves. I am back.
Why are brothers fighting with brothers? I shall not go back to Adam and Eve, the beginning of the history of mankind. Suffice to say, we are all descendents of Noah and those others who survived the Flood.
So, do you challenge your brother who is a head shorter than you to a fight, to land your gorilla fist in his mouth? Do you despise your brother and sister because he or she grew up in poverty and had much lesser access to an education that tries to guide men on how to live and what to live for, while all of us know that life on earth and in this world is temporal and will come to an end.
Smarter men and women than we see here have we known , but look at where they are now…and what they are now. Nothing. Just some names on the pages of history books. But more importantly is where they – and we – will be after that?
You fools! See ye first the Kingdom of God…forget about your vanity and your lusts and your pride, friends.
Instead of taking swipes at your brethren, read the words of Christ when He said: whoever feeds anyone of these (ie. the poor) whoever gives clothes to anyone of these….he has done unto ME.
This world is indeed evil.
…over to you.
@Eric
Your rant is meaningless. I’m surprised you weren’t one of the 4 arrested here:
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKTRE49L1DN20081022
Sexual immorality – all manners of it – was a reason for the Flood
@Eric
“I shall not go back to Adam and Eve, the beginning of the history of mankind. Suffice to say, we are all descendents of Noah and those others who survived the Flood.”
No we’re not. We’re all descendants of the monkeys that came down from the trees and the first humans that orginated in Africa or thereabouts.
How about that? Seemless transition from culture battle to sex battle to evolution battle! :)
Women’s Lib is nothing about ‘liberation’ or ‘equality’. It is about seeking and getting a higher postion or superiority. Don’t fool yourselves. Any man that supports what women’s lib really is just a wannabe. This feminism has totally screwed up many women in the west. They have no idea what they want to be. Oh sure you can find examples of “strong” women and “successful” women but I’d bet huge odds they are NOT fulfilled inside. Feminist have created a prison for women and the women eat it up.
Fuller: you are very naughty. How dare you call your grandparents’ grandparents’ grandparents….MONKEYS?
As far as I know, mine were human beings, and MONKEYS along with cows, goats, dogs, cats and others were separately created.
But I believe evolution could have finally equipped some monkeys to learn how to use the internet. Evidence for this can be found on this site.
@dave RE: “They have no idea what they want to be.”
Do you think most men are so clear on what they want to be, and are so fulfilled inside? You’re way off on this one. Also, “women’s lib” means different things to different women – and like with many ideas the majority are good and good intentioned but some are extremist and can be dismissed.
Yes, I spoke in generality, assuming that we are talking about a trend and not specifics. Men with money, and power in old traditional cultures as the Middle East, Africa, South America and China generally look for women younger and with beauty. Women in Europe, North America are more empowered to seek partners of equal status instead of waiting to be seeked. Therefore, Chinese men with means would more than likely look for women who have less means or status. Western men would also do the same in some cases because it is not a zero and sum situations. In general marriages in Western societies are more between equals. This of course is the result of more women getting higher education. In fact more women are now in universities in the U.S. than there are men. The choice of marriage partner now is more a toss up between men and women. It has boiled down to commonality in interest, and values. As is not only are there many interracial marriages of all kinds, but also inter-faith marriages, older women marrying younger men, and women of means marrying men of lesser means. Finally, we have arrived at equality between men and women.
Post script: Let this young woman have her dream at 22. She will find that the grass is not always greener, sooner or later. It seems Chinese are quick to condemn and execute, government level as well as people.
@ Dave
Clearly, you know nothing about the feminism in it’s current form. It isn’t necessarily about “equality” in the sense that everything is split 50/50 – it has become more centered on “choice.” It has become about having the freedom to choose one’s path, whether it’s traditional (e.g. stay-at-home mom) or unconventional (e.g. business executive), and not to be judged for it.
The feminism of the 60s and 70s were different b/c the stakes were different and the paradigm has rightfully shifted with time. The message that was sent out back then had to be radical b/c they needed to break away from generations of existing in a patriarchal system but while the same system exists today, the message has been tempered by what women have been able to gain and it would be out of sync with the lifestyles of most women today.
@ Kai
I do agree w/ the fact that this piece was written out of self-interest rather than a reflection of many young Chinese. As you said, Jiatong is one of the better educational institutions of China and it just might be me but maybe by virtue of admission, she feels that she is the creme de la creme of youth and that she deserves better. Personally, I see plenty of kids like this at Stanford (I work here but I don’t really have any allegiances since I went to a UC :D) as well as other schools. At some point, you do tell yourself that “I am better than this,” mostly b/c of pride and/or fear but it is very immature to do it with rose-coloured glasses on.
I agree with Ann to some degree in that she does show some aspects of Chinese women’s lib by the way she is articulating certain desires but I would hardly call her a posterchild since she is far too green for that.
I think it is easier for men to be more fulfilled inside than women. But I can only judge by the people I know and talk to. It seems that men can just deal more with less.
Feminism, at its core, is the same in its current form as it was 40 years ago. There is no such thing as equality. One group will always want to dominate. That is human nature. Women included.
This lady knows what she likes. But what she likes may not necessarily be true. Her perceptions are her own not necessarily that of reality.
She’s observant in that a lot of Chinese men (not all) are rather less cultured in the finer arts of manner and etiquette. Now mind you it’s a generational issue rather than the country as a whole. Most of the children from parents of the Cultural Revolution have been brought up in a society void of social norms and expectations. A society that is void of rules of etiquette, proper public manners and other forms of behavior that seem (on the surface) to be very utopian to the average Chinese but ubiquitous in western society.
In the West, society reinforces chivalry and other values that respect the fairer sex. We can talk ad nauseam about the differences but she is very condescending in reference to all Chinese men when she clearly is limited to her microcosm of University life and social circles. There are clearly elegant Chinese men who are well-mannered, chivalrous, thoughtful, independent, respectful, educated, humorous, creative, generous and so on. However usually they tend to be older men. Older men who are worldly, who are cultured, who have traveled and who have been to the West and know differently.
This woman is clearly misguided and prejudiced against her fellow Chinese man. She aspires to things all people want and ,that is — to live a full and happy life. She just can’t seem to find it in Shanghai. She shouldn’t be scolded about her opinion. Pity might be a better choice.
Nevertheless, some Chinese men do like her type and in the end that’s good news for everyone. It raises the bar, lifts the standards so to speak. Men will change and seek the attentions of women like her. For what other reason do men exist in this crazy world of ours? We exist to chase women. That’s our “raison d’etre.” Without improvement and chasing higher ideals…we all become rather dull and ignorant.
@ Ann:
Before I respond to your recent comment, I want to preface by saying that I do indeed trust you’re a nice person and that the following is purely for the sake of discussion.
[Long list of exceptions to the rule and minority phenomenon.] Finally, we have arrived at equality between men and women.
No. To be sociologically rigorous, I would say that conclusion is a huge stretch. I think the West is close to “equality between men and women” in THEORY but far from being so in PRACTICE. To the extent that it is more so than other parts of the world, sure, I’m willing to agree, but that statement in of itself is not accurate nor even close to being arguable.
It is what we may hope for, what we may want, but it is NOT what IS.
Post script: Let this young woman have her dream at 22. She will find that the grass is not always greener, sooner or later. It seems Chinese are quick to condemn and execute, government level as well as people.
If you publish something on a discussion forum, you’ve accepted being judged. She did not write this in her diary and someone stole it. She posted this to make her points and her being condemned or executed for it is fully reasonable and ought to be expected. There is no argument for giving her a free pass. You singling out the Chinese for this is disappointing and unfortunately leads me to suspect it says something about your predisposition towards the Chinese. The fact is, go on any discussion forum, Chinese or Western, and this is par for the course. You speak, people listen, people respond. If you don’t want to hear what others have to say about what you said, then don’t say anything. That’s how speech works and that’s how the marketplace of ideas works.
Of course, you’re free to stand up for her (why, I don’t know), but we’re also free to say you’re fighting the wrong battle.
@ Chinamerican:
I’m still bitter Stanford has climbed up to #4 while my alma mater has fallen down to #21. At least we have a better mascot. :D …and an element!
I meant that some of the things Ann was saying made me feel like she was using the Jiaotong girl as her poster child for women’s liberation here on chinaSMACK. I honestly think there are BETTER candidates, if one needs one at all. Whether the Jiaotong girl is green or not has nothing to do with how others, such as Ann, may use her to advance an agenda/ideology.
By the way, I like your response on women’s liberation changing based upon the times, just as I like Rick’s explanation that women’s liberation/feminism means different things to different people, women included.
@ Kai
r u serios? When did you guys fall down to #21?! If it makes you feel any better, my alma mater was ranked one of the worst by RADAR (most “high”) and is consistently so in many national rankings. You guys have an element too?! Take that Stanford particle accelerator!
@ Dave
Men tend to be more taciturn so maybe talking isn’t the best gauge. The first thing that comes to mind is that while more women attempt suicide, men have a far higher success rate. I just heard on the news yesterday that middle-aged suicide is on the rise too.
I think many women today are content to accept that there won’t be “equality” as it is defined in material terms – it is very short sighted to be so preoccupied on who pays for what or who does the chores. We are not so hellbent on “dominating” men as we are interested in building a balanced life, with or without them. If it’s anything that we want control over, it’s our own bodies because we certainly don’t need a bunch of religious nuts telling us what we can and cannot do w/ our own uteri.
Firstly, I have no intention of making this young woman a poster child of woman’s lib. But Chinese society is still very much mired in the old tradtion of favoring boys, thus men. When women find themselves always at a disadvantage, they will either subcome to the system by taking on the role of the passive and submissive female plus a new social expectation of being a sex toy for men; or they can stand up on their own two feet with lesser expectation in material wants but greater self-pride and satisfaction. Additionally, because China has been poor for so long and with the present dynamic economic development and growth of consumerism in China, this sequence of social change makes for a very difficult choice for men and women in China. Should one be straight and honest or to get rich quick by hook or by crook? This young woman wishes for a quick easy glamorous life, while men wish for a get rich quick scheme. So, what’s the difference?
Is it a fair game to hurl such names on a young woman who simply expressed her desire for escape in the form of pointing out the negative social conditions in China?
What is more shocking is the vile insulting names she has been called by some bloggers. Even in name calling, society is biased in that the names used for women carry a much deeper insult intending to denigrate. Let’s try semantic here for a moment: whore equivalent for men is gigalo – whore implies immorality, down low in society; gigalo is just someone who gets supported by a rich woman and is somewhat of a playboy. Take bitch, it carries a sexual connotation of indiscriminate sexualality; stud – a powerfully sexual male. And then again, the names for female and male body parts also carry very different implied meanings.
I seem to remember this article, or one very similar being posted on Chinese BBSs a few years ago and kicking up a minor storm. It sounds like a parody to me, but it’s a good parody: there really are people who think this way. Of course Western men are quite happy that young attractive Chinese females have these sorts of romantic ideas about Westerners, they probably won’t try too hard to convince them that they are unrealistic!
If this girl really believes television so much she should watch more Chinese TV. Streets always look clean there too and young couples have big, tastefully decorated apartments which you don’t often see in real life.
@Eric
We all come from monkeys! Excuse me while I go eat my banana.
“If this girl really believes television so much she should watch more Chinese TV. Streets always look clean there too and young couples have big, tastefully decorated apartments which you don’t often see in real life.”
You’re assuming people believe everything they see on TV as being representative of society rather than your own interpretation of Chinese television.
I live abroad and I know at least one girl like who thought like that. Her goal was to marry a foreigner and she succeeded, but now they are divorced and she’s a single mom. Western men don’t expect to have to support women anymore.
I mean, seriously, this a society where splitting the bill for everything from restaurant meals to mortages to groceries is common. She’s deluded if she thinks a western man is her ticket to an easy life.
美国的条件比较好。至于中国男人，他们经常靠父母，对开放的女孩子来说这样的生活没有意思。 也许她应该找老外男朋友。
The living conditions are pretty good in the US. As far as the men in China are concerned, they seem to always relies on there parents for everything. I think that kind of lifestyle can turn off a lot of women. Maybe she SHOULD find a western boyfriend.
Most, not all, but most people DO want someone in their lives. Trying to build a life where one has to be convinced that “I am alright w/o a man” is bound to cause a lot of confusion and lack a security (not material security).
By all means what you do with YOUR own uteri is not my business. Is this the end all be all of your life, how you treat your ‘uteri’? Are you needing abortions on a regular basis? Just tell me it is legal murder and that you still support it and we will be done. If you are all comfortable with that then it is your choice. But it is what it is no matter the wording.
@ Ann:
Again, you’re fighting the wrong battle. Can you focus on the actual issues pertinent to this young lady instead of trying to drag in women’s liberation or “well, the Chinese men are like this yadda yadda?”
There is no difference between an ignorant, arrogant, offensive Chinese female and Chinese male. I don’t think anyone felt otherwise but it appears that you want someone to acknowledge that.
It is definitely reasonable and understandable to hurl names at a girl who hurled names at others. She could’ve pointed out the negative social conditions in China without insulting others by calling others dark-skinned grannies and implying that anyone who is as smart as she is ought to ditch China and seek a better life in the West with Western men.
Tangent: You’re using the term “bloggers” incorrectly. Fauna is a blogger, draq is a blogger. The majority of us commenting in this post are just, uh, “commenters.” It isn’t a big deal but I just thought you might want to correct that mistake since it is a little confusing sometimes. As far as I know, I don’t think Fauna or draq called her any shocking, vile names.
You have a hard time sticking to the topic, Ann. Now you’re going off on a rant against sexist derogatory terms. Please just focus on whether or not this girl is deserving of the backlash she got. Most people seem to think so, as explained previously. You apparently still want to fight for her, arguing that she should be given some sort of pass for being young, dreamy, or whatever. In doing so, you’ve also raised the women’s liberation banner and now are fighting to rid the world of inequitable semantics. Don’t you think you’re straying unreasonably far from the original discussion?
I’m wondering if you feel compelled to go to extremes in order to defend her at any cost to common sense simply because you somehow identify with her. Don’t answer that. It isn’t necessary. I just want to reiterate that you’re fighting the wrong battles. Since I’m repeating myself again, I’ll try to leave this issue with you at rest here.
It’s a pitty for china, but I have to admint that a small part of the population, the more educated one, want to leave the country to increase their life level. Chinise model doesn’t work more than the soviet one.
What a racist B*tch! Only because she thinks she is “Beautiful” she deserves better. I really don’t feel pity or sorry for her. She deserves to be treated as an animal. That’s how she wants to be taken.
All she wants is to have a master, a guy that will buy a cage of dreams and leave her inside.
China is really becaming 1st world. The country is already producing “Throphy Girl” wannabe.
Let me tell something girl. Your “beauty” will fade, and all that will remain is a very wicked old lady. With nothing in your mind.
People like you make me feel very angry with mankind.
Mankind really isn’t moving forward.
Kai:
It is called broading the topic to seek the motivation behind the messages. To go around and around condemning her post, is to look at it within a small circle, like looking at it through a telescope when every defect is founding, but no cause can be gathered. I am not defending her as much as explaining the background for this behavior which I suspect is not unique in China. She just happens to have 1) the education 2) the youth 3) the endowed looks to have the confidence to write such a controvertial message. I am not here to judge her character which is easily to do in a narrow and superficial way as has been shown by so many people posting on this blog.
I try to promote further examination of the issues behind the story and not just on the the superfical theme. I truly believe in traditional societies like China and others, women are still very much in the submissive position, the lesser social position, and in such case women tend to look for quick fixes and escapes. In other blogs about China, there appears to have a common strain of quick condemnation or call for executions instead of judicious examination. I am hoping for a change in this regard.
Mistypes:
corrections, broadening, which is easily done……
I think Kai has raised some of the more sensible points here.
Eric Wong, seriously, you are taking your own opinion as fact, and your bias is also very annoying.
@ Ann:
Sorry, I don’t think so. Your “broadening’ is done in what appears to be a desperate attempt to justify your defense of her as merely being “dreamy” and in no way invalidates, refutes, or legitimately criticizes reasonable, understandable, and justified criticisms of her ignorance, arrogance, and shameless display of the previous two.
I understand you don’t like people calling her names, but insofar as she disrespected others likewise, it is only fair that we allow her to be subject to the same vitriol she dealt out and thus has coming to her.
You have no cause to broaden in defense of her because no one is forbidding her to have her own dreams and preferences. Yet again, I reiterate to you that people are angry with her attitude. No one owes it to her to give her a free pass on not just being (again) WOEFULLY ignorant but also WOEFULLY arrogant and disrespectful to others.
We KNOW why she wrote her message. You do NOT need to educate us on such. NOTHING excuses her attitude. This is the real world and she is old enough to have a bit more tact and humility than she shows. No one OUGHT to or SHOULD be understanding. We COULD be, out of our own generosity, but that is for us to judge and decide. You are NOT “promoting further examination of the issues” nor is your characterization of others only seeing the “superficial” correct. What you are doing is RATIONALIZING her IDIOCY.
Idiocy does NOT need to be rationalized. Moreover, though I doubt she’s reading our comments, the mere juxtaposition of her arguments vis a vis our rebuttals and criticisms is a far more incisive examination of the RELEVANT issues than you repeatedly saying “oh, but she’s just a young, naive, beautiful, educated young woman who has DREAMS!”
She lives in a dream world, alright, and unfortunately the most effective way of popping out of that self-deluded bubble is to be confronted with harsh reality. That may not necessarily include calling her names but it DOES include being vocal about disagreeing with her and enumerating the countless errors of ignorance and faults of character she VOLUNTARILY put forth for judgment by her peers.
Changing what you consider to be “quick condemnation” or “calls for execution” SHOULD NOT involve defending and rationalizing her idiocy. This is PRECISELY what I meant about you fighting the WRONG battle. She is NOT worth your defense. There are FAR better girls out there that are pursuing a higher social position or self-image WITHOUT insulting everyone around them.
Ann, do you understand this?
So, please do not argue with me, or “broaden,” about anything else UNTIL you can give everyone a damn good reason why we should give her a pass AND put up with her denigrating and demeaning everyone she considers lower than her. NONE OF US are obligated to put up with her idiocy and ALL OF US are free to offer her feedback. Naturally, what she does with it is up to her. And please, for the love of that moral society you keep mentioning, stop defending this idiot.
What this about Chinese not having a sense of humor? That is exactly what I am trying to say. She has offered some very interesting points for examination as issues in the larger social context. She can easily be type cast as an anti-hero in a comedic TV episode, the dumb blond, naive, complaining but still lovable who reminds me of the famous Marilyn Monroe – “Diamond is a girl’s best friend”. I would not take every word she said so seriously. Afterall, even the pictures are supposed to be fake according to Fauna, people posting the pictures instead of the writer doing it herself. I am more shocked at the degrading names that has been hurled at her. I believe the writer has taken the liberty of an artist to write a very controversial piece to stoke some excitement. Unfortunately, all the men fell for her trick, got roused up to condermn her with pornographic language. It is an amazing show of hostility from most male “commentators” toward her who dares to criticize and lay it out the way she sees her world.
Dude…Ann…
…
This story is FAKE. I’v seen many versions of it. It’s becoming an urban legend type of thing….anyway, You guys lost the point here. Comments like ‘Foreigners have a better taste’ or ‘Foreigners are romantic’ are just BS. Just like those foreigners, most Chinese girls fvck white guys because they are exotic. It’s just as simple as that. ;)
@Ann
I’d like to correct your definition of bitch – I think you’ve mistaken it with whore or slut. A bitch is not normally related to being promiscuous, whore or slut is. Here’s a common definition (google define:)
Definitions of bitch on the Web:
* an unpleasant difficulty; “this problem is a real bitch”
* cunt: a person (usually but not necessarily a woman) who is thoroughly disliked; “she said her son thought Hillary was a bitch”
———-
That being said, I find your argument hypocritical. You go on to say “I would not take every word she said so seriously.” after finding details in *comments* by posters who are commenting in response posting knee-jerk or sometimes even just *poke poke* type reactions and critiquing them with vigor as if they were said about someone you know or even yourself. Review the posts and try to be objective, I’m sure you’ll quickly stop arguing with Kai, he just called you out on what it is.
if this article is even true….
then she’s in for a rude awaking.
Western boys are ALL excellent…. Western countries have better living conditions. Sure… am sure her Mcdonald’s worker boyfriend will make sure all those headlines are true.
Man where is she getting all these bunch of crock??? Wayyyyyy too many soccer balls to the head me thinks…!
The author of the article has only been impressed with the images shown on Television, western media. It is unfortunate she has not been to an foreign country like England, U.S., Canada…etc. The author has been misinformed.
Hollywood only projects the best and sugary images to the developing world. Television is not the reference guide one should be using to determine if Western men are better.
China is a developing country, it will take many more years for it to become a developed country. Then people’s behaviour such as spitting, littering and pushing in line with disappear. But the thing is China has a massive population of over 1 billion people. If all of Europe, US, Canada had billions more people, then people’s attitude will become worse, its a rats race to fight for resources, jobs, education, people will jump queue.
Gwailo and laowais are the worst offenders of divorces, de facto relationships, prostitutes addicted. They insult and degrade women in developing country by procuring prostitution and getting their dicks wet. The only thing they have is a western Passport and exit strategy for Oriental women. They lack in intelligence and morality.
The western world is declining, low birth rates, low marriage rates, single parent families, dysfunctional nuclear families.
The best comment Ive heard on this subject was from chinadaily.com
“their big dicks will hurt you”
LOL
Well, so many sexually pornographic words used by men on this blog! The majority of the commentators are men whose egos have been crushed by the yound woman’s rejection. It’s no wonder this blog has the most number of sexual degrading words used ever.
Diamonds are the girls best friend – Marilyn Monroe.
Material Girl – Modonna
Live it up, girls!!!
Ariel Levy would describe this as female chauvinism.
@Ann
Diamonds cannot warm up during cold and lonely nights.
Nah! A couple of shots of voka and you won’t even notice.
@Ann
What a sad, sad girl are you. Sad, sad, sad. You sound like citizen of USSR. They ate caviar, drink vodka and drove Lada.
Vodkas are sold all over the world, including U.S.. Will it make you feel better if I subsitute vodka with brandy? I love vodka in different flavors and brandy straight. I am a material girl in U.S. of A. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend especially when she buys it herself with her own money.
See, now that’s a good attitude.
@Ann
Ann, Ann, Ann,…. I’m very glad you are independent, self-confident woman. If you are. Are you happy? Do you have content life? When you go to bed, do you have that little smile of inner happiness? If you have shitty day, do you talk with your diamonds? Do you have small talks with diamonds?
krdr:
Happiness is having a dog
Happiness is having a white gigolo
Happiness is having my own fat bank account
Happiness is buying my own diamonds
Happiness is driving a Lambragini
Happiness is owning a McMansion
I am the material girl!
In the name of family honour, Chinese people want face. So, even if they don’t marry happily or richly (to a foreigner) , it is a great shame (or loss of face) to return to China “empty-handed”
It is natural to conjure up some material “achievements” to show for it. This is called “denial”
Many Chinese women regret their marriage to the white man, but they have to deceive others, even, sad to say, deceive themselves, till death free them from the life that is not to be. Many of them are beaten up by their white husbands, whose punches and kicks are, well, more painful than a Chinese man’s.
Kai I love the way you write. All of you chinese write with such breath taking eloquence, however, you Kai…you, your words make me feel something that I have never felt while reading anything, ever. How can I become a good writer like you? I’m human like you. I cry when I’m sad, laugh when I’m happy, and bleed when I’m pricked. Does it matter where I was born and raised?
About the young lady who wrote the post. -Forbes quote-”The most accurate study of mankind is man” Don’t believe everything you see on t.v. Television in the USA is and has always be onesided. I wish you all the best.
@Smickno
RE: “Many Chinese women regret their marriage to the white man”
“the white man”…HAHAHAHAHA. “whose punches and kicks are, well, more powerful than a Chinese man’s.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
I’ve never seen shit transparent but yours certainly is.
“”Many Chinese women regret their marriage to the white man, but they have to deceive others, even, sad to say, deceive themselves, till death free them from the life that is not to be. Many of them are beaten up by their white husbands……” – Smickno.
Yes, those Chinese women who marry white men might have their fate worked out that way if they found their husbands on internet dating ads. Russian beauties and other women from poor countries also may face the same fate.
Chinese women marrying white men based on shared interest and out look on life do not get divorced more often than white to white, or Chinese men married to white women.
Smickno’s assertion is a generalization with misinformation.
@Ann
Are you father owner of coal-mine in Shaanxi? I have strong feeling that you are not what you say you are. You are in USA? How many years? 1,2,5?
This one is good: “Happiness is having a white gigolo.” Do you know it is forbidden?
The problem with young Chinese people that they don’t read Confucius or Zen Maters. They are like “fine gentlemen” from Taoist stories.
Ann, wish you happy and content life. You don’t have that.
Wow I’m speechless. It’s sad how she draws all her opinions from the media, where everything is airbrushed and manufactured. I live in Canada, and its funny how many guys spit, litter, and do a lot the things she claims that only Chinese men do. Behaviors doesn’t have anything to do with a persons race , rather it is based upon the individual. Many of the things she claims that only happen in China, surprisingly, are found here too. An example would be tainted food. Although we don’t have poison laced milk, we have ecoli infected spinach, meats that cause meningitis and etc. Reading her article, it seems that she is more interested in materialistic goods; rather than love. She needs to stop wearing her ass on her head and get a clue.
as long as (certain) women continue to mistake materialistic ‘girl power’ for real empowerment, they will never get respect from men.
After all, you are just a transaction away from my bed.
@~~~
In Beijing I saw all kinds of western men doing more despicable things than Chinese.
Apparently it seems she has never lived in a western country before. All her opinions were based off of what she has seen from the media. Well, in every country; there are both good and bad men.
In America, most men you meet are as bad as the ones in Asia. They may be a bit more tolerant, but still do the same things. The average American man would definitely not fit in her ideas of how an American man would be like. Not all of them have manners, not all are respectful to others, and not all act like the ways you would see from the media.
Also, in most American marriages, couples separate their wealth from one another. When they go out to dinner, most of the time, they pay separately. Even though American people make a lot of money, and when that sum is converted to RMB, it seems a lot. Well, they aren’t as rich as they seem to be.
Over half the American population do not live luxurious lives in big, fancy, comfortable houses.
The children in America would be just as bad as the children born in Asia. They have more things they don’t need to work for. American children are more spoiled, more demanding, and can be just as bad as kids of any other country there is.
I have met an Asian women lucky enough to marry a decent American man. Her life is pretty good. Her home is in a nice neighborhood. Her closet is filled with designer brands. She can go shopping every weekend. But, she works for her own money that she sends home to her parents in China.
And there aren’t enough of those men to go around. It seems that nowadays, the population of decent men and/or women are dramatically decreasing.
Good luck on a fairy tale life.
ANN!!! YOU ARE SHANXI COAL MINE CHICK!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!
http://www.sextour.com.au/shanghai_sex_tour.htm
This girl’s picture is at the top of the page for a Shanghai sex tour.
Could it be, that she’s an escort? Haha!
Here’s the picture of her.
http://www.sextour.com.au/images/shanghai_sex_tour.jpg
dear chinese girl
Firts of all you are a racist “those dirty migrant workers” and this not at all a high valued quality in a well off accultured western man’s mind.
Second you are greedy and this is also not depicting you nicely, but you are forgiven as this is a characterial part of your co-nationals.
For one statement you are fully right: “Furthermore, some Chinese men lack a sense of independence, only knowing how to revolve around girls, living like a super nanny. ….No thoughts, no temper, my god, I would be afraid of the son I have with this man being like his father, a model citizen so obviously cultivated by an authoritarian country. What girl does not like a man with personality and courage?
Western men were all raised in an environment of independence. They have independent thinking, not like Chinese men, who are parrots”.
I wish you one day will meet a fat cat who brings you oversee and you finally will be faced with your co-national “dirty migrants” in US or EU.
Screw the West! They robbed, raped, plundered the weak countries and enjoyed our blood and sweat. The West have very low morality. Look at the global crisis, all caused by the West. For all those Chinese women who married or thinking of marry a foreigner, you are a betrayer of your people! Their culture sucks big time. Why I know? I spent half my life there. ANd for you all Chinese men out there, treat your ladies with dignity otherwise all you have is “Mrs. Smith and her 4 daughters”. If you dont understand what I said here, I would be glad to explain it to you.
@justme
RE: “racist “those dirty migrant workers””
Distaste for migrant workers isn’t really racism, it’s more like caste elitism, and I don’t imagine there are many people who think the majority of migrant workers (regardless of racial/minority background) are clean and sophisticated. Do you?
Such overly simplified and degrading statements about China and Chinese leave a disgusting after taste in my mouth. In essence, she equals the value of people to what men can provide for her, and I have a major problem with that.
“Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do with your country.” Obviously our “highly educated” cheerleader has little concern over her country — or am I asking too much from her? She seems to have sadly mistaken getting a degree from a “good” school as education.
Min Chan,
Spent half 1/3 of my life in China. Nothing different here except less personal ethics on a far greater scale. But of course everything is the fault of the west! The following is said with all respect and kindness. You’re an idiot. BTW change your socks more than once a week.
Raye made this false statement, “Also, in most American marriages, couples separate their wealth from one another. When they go out to dinner, most of the time, they pay separately.” What a bunch of bologna.
BTW, Chinese only pay to try to give themselves face and not for anything so glorious as generosity. Don’t kid yourself. When you see the middle age men pretending to fight to pay the bill do you think they really want to pay? It is just a shallow image.
We can play tit for tat all day.
krdr said, “In Beijing I saw all kinds of western men doing more despicable things than Chinese.”
These are empty words, examples would be nice.
Max,
You SIR are an ignoramus. But at least your’e funny! Saying the West is bad yet using a Western name.
Also, considering China’s “5000 years of history” I imagine China’s done some robbing, raping, and pillaging in its time, don’t you? In your infinite wisdom and experience you are able to group all the West together in one giant monolithic culture and judge it based on…. what? You lived in the US or Canada? That gives you the knowledge to judge “the West”? That sounds just as ignorant as some American lumping all Asians together, say judging all East Asians as if they were Japanese, or thinking a Punjabi Sikh is an Arab Muslim. Ignoramus!
Max Chan, those are one of the most ignorant statements I have ever heard. You have made blind assumptions; just like the author of this article. Since Western culture “sucks” so much, I don’t understand why you are using a computer; a piece of technology that came out of the West. Next time you should think twice before entering an automobile, or using a ball-point pen.
While highly delusional about the “Heaven” in western countries and just naive overall, she does have some valid points about the utter lack of refinement on the part of your *average* Chinese man. Keep in mind that China has a LOT of people, most of them extremely poor and uneducated (which is not fault of their own but of the failure of communism and madness of Mao).
To those Chinese who, in being offended by this girl’s article, start bashing foreigners, you are demonstrating the very lack of education and nuance that this girl is complaining about.
In any case, I as a westerner, would never want to get with this girl. I just fear her expectations and demands would be more than any typical western man could bare. Good luck learning about life sweetheart.
@Mike RE: “judging all East Asians as if they were Japanese”
Quite frankly, that’s insulting the Japanese. ;)
@Dave
Empty words? Let’s start from easy things, like west people doing same things (sleeping, spitting and urinating on the street) as Chinese. To many times I saw westerns that treats Chinese girls as whores. Once I saw an English, mid-aged man, in German restaurant, talking to waitress they shall meet in 8 o’clock that evening, for more than half an hour. Poor girl didn’t understand what he talking.
Drunk bashing, fighting, vomiting, drug dealing… List is to long. It seems that Britons are same in Greece, Serbia and China.
I saw a French guy pissing in Ho Hai. Germans farting in Pauliners brewery in Kempinski Hotel. American diplomats drunk at British ambassador’s party…
@krdr
Your list of specifics is pretty mild to say the least. Farting at a BREWERY? Drunk fighting…at or outside a bar? Almost all you list is what happens at every club or bar in the world. Puking, drinking, vomiting, drugs………can you be a little more specific to foreigners and their bad habits which don’t include activities at places where it is a norm to drink a copious amount of alcohol in order to prove your point?
Seeing kids being held up by their parents to shit in the bush on the side of the road or ran out of a restaurant in mid-day to urinate at 4 years old while they’re suspended over a curb is a little different than two drunken brits arguing outside a club or pissing in an alley in an area with no public facilities but lots of beer for sale.
Ever thought that some foreigners treat many locals as whores because most foreign-frequented place has a massive abundance of them?
@Rick
Germans always thought about Slavic people as barbarians, but Slavic people doesn’t fart in brewery (at least me).
I do not think that pissing and vomiting out of toilet is normal.
I saw a parent holding his kid to piss in ash tray in Carfour. It is gross to me as pissing in Ho Hai (Saturday evening).
Treating waitress as whore is normal, too? Misbehavior is misbehavior.
Some of Chinese bad habits are part of heritage (or culture), but none said: Hey they spit on streets, b/c they do not want to keep poisons in their body. But we saying: it is normal to piss out of bar.
The hypocrisy here is unbearable.
“@Dave
Empty words? Let’s start from easy things, like west people doing same things (sleeping, spitting and urinating on the street) as Chinese. To many times I saw westerns that treats Chinese girls as whores. Once I saw an English, mid-aged man, in German restaurant, talking to waitress they shall meet in 8 o’clock that evening, for more than half an hour. Poor girl didn’t understand what he talking.
Drunk bashing, fighting, vomiting, drug dealing… List is to long. It seems that Britons are same in Greece, Serbia and China.
I saw a French guy pissing in Ho Hai. Germans farting in Pauliners brewery in Kempinski Hotel. American diplomats drunk at British ambassador’s party…”
It seems you hang around these people often. So you go ask these people where they are from and take notes? “French guy pissing”, “German man Farting” “American Drunk”. I believe these things can happen but quit making stuff up.
Yes, ALL Chinese girls are pure as the driven snow. Chinesemen never treat girls as whores. No, no!
@Dave
Yes, ALL Chinese girls are pure as the driven snow. Chinesemen never treat girls as whores. No, no!
I didn’t said that.
It seems you hang around these people often
I have eyes.
So you go ask these people where they are from and take notes?
and ears, and brain capable of memorizing.
It seems you hang around these people often.
No. I hang around with my wife often. There’s a situation when people wants to drink german beer with his wife, and decide to visit St. Pauliners brewery. Then, the couple take a place near bunch of Germans gentleman. In suits. With ties. After half an hour, they start farting. They found it funny, so they kept farting.
Pauliners brewery is situated in Kempinski Hotel, were German chancellor stays during visits to China.
When I said that saw western man doing despicable things, it was just a note on ~~~~ comment. Believe or not, there’s a westerns that do despicable things. In Canada, Germany, USA, even Serbia, but also in China. Not all laowais are “pure as a snow”.
Now, we can spent 44 post who is right (me, who claims that some westerns do some bad things sometimes , somwhere, or you, who claims that all westerns, all the time are nothing but a an angels).
I think too many people give this author too much heat for seeming to be all about money. It’s far more likely that she’s just trying to state that it would be nice if one wouldn’t have to WORRY about money, and that it would actually be ok to spend it on something frivolous every once in awhile.
That said, I do agree that the ideas she has about westerners are mostly untrue. Not all are fantastic looking (America being the most obese country in the world…), and certainly, not all are of acceptable status and behaviors.
In the end, humans are humans, whether on one side of the globe or on the other. You’ll find both types of humans, good and bad, on both sides. It’s really that simple
I do not see a problem with her comments at all. She seems to be very well educated and just seems to want a man who is prince charming. (Dosn’t every woman). Although she may have been informed with some aspects of western culture that arn’t true I myself would be happy to correct her.
@krdr
I think you are cherry picking your exceptions. Certainly there are many people who fart in bars in every country. Certainly there are many people who puke outside a club after drinking way too much liquor – or even inside a club – in every country. That’s not what we’re pointing at..we’re pointing at a cultural norm in common every day life where people snort, snort, haaccckkk, spit. Where a majority pick their nose, look at it, wrinkle it between their fingers and flick it away. Where as soon as you’re done with something, you throw the remainder on the ground assuming someone else will clean it up. It’s these type of things – not bar-time bodily functions like burping farting or getting drunk, which many people find disgusting.
@krdr (I forgot to mention) RE: “In Canada, Germany, USA, even Serbia”
EVEN Serbia? You don’t say!
I can’t understand how you choose the words despicable to describe being drunk and farting in a bar. DRUNK AND FARTING? MY GOD! The Horror, the horror. Come on man. And some drunken fat dude from wherever treating a waitress like a bar – maybe someone should shut him up, but he’s a rarity, most foreigners would knock a dude out who went way out of line with a waitress…at least the ones I hang out with. I don’t see many locals standing up for women put in precarious situations that aren’t part of their ‘group’, though, which is unfortunate. “Stick out like a nail and get hammered down” is something that will hopefully change over time here.
Nobody is claiming western people are ‘angels’ as you say, nor chinese are all ‘bad’, of course not. It’s also not “bad” to hork up a big gob of lung butter and smack it out on the pavement, it’s just disgusting…there’s a difference. It’s also very unhygienic – you’ll take note that virus spreads quickly through things like spit which is why this all came to issue in China initially – during SARS – spitting and coughing out without covering your mouth was a major reason this and many other diseases have spread so quickly in high population density areas.
And some drunken fat dude from wherever treating a waitress like a bar
I was a noon, in restaurant, and guy wasn’t drunk at all. Even French guy wasn’t drunk. Being drunk is not a justification for acts committed (well, maybe in Japan).
That’s not what we’re pointing at..we’re pointing at a cultural norm in common every day life where people snort, snort, haaccckkk, spit.
and I’m pointing the fact that some foreigners behaves differently in their homeland and China.
Nor I denied:
It’s also very unhygienic – you’ll take note that virus spreads quickly through things like spit which is why this all came to issue in China initially – during SARS – spitting and coughing out without covering your mouth was a major reason this and many other diseases have spread so quickly in high population density areas.
I just cannot get it, why you and Dave got pissed b/c I said that some western people misbehave? Why you protecting them? Justifies them. Yes. I do “cherry picking” thing, but I’m not trying to generalize on whole population.
Hahaha!
This blog is a joke.
There are no stupid Chinese women like this in China.
For foreigners, this woman would only qualify for being “toilet paper” – used once and then flushed.
Hahaha! This blog was a good joke.
ALLHAILAMERICA said, “Not all are fantastic looking (America being the most obese country in the world…)”
I believe this record now belongs to Australia.
Krdr,
When did I say they were angels?
@krdr
I’m not mad you say “some foreigners” behave badly, lots behave badly, but in living in foreign countries, and living here, I don’t see why you think the same disgusting habits are less, or even equal here…that’s the point. Actually, it doesn’t even matter.
@dave
Where I said that all Chinese girls are nothing but a snowballs?
@Rick
I didn’t understood sentence before last.
Anyway, I’d like to made little resume:
1) ~~~ said that western men does despicable things on west
2) then I said that western men does despicable things in China. I forgot to say “some western men”
3) Then I noted that some westerns behave different aboard and home.
“I am an excellent girl in every aspect.”
No way, ’cause you think no end of yourself. A cultivated women is not so overweening. You are yourself a part of what you criticize.
I don’t even want to read the whole article . She is so shallow, so lost. people are different , I just watched Tyra show today -a American girl want to sell her virginity for big money to support her education expense. People are free to speak up and choose their life , maybe their will get payoff for their choice later.
But I show no respect to those gals who abuse their youth and beauty, never think about being an independent women. Being a chinese woman who married to a foreigner for five years, my advice is- as a chinese girl, you probably need to be even more stronger and indepent to marry to westerner. In lot way, chinese man are much more caring and take more financial responsiblities of the family. However, I do enjoy the my relationship, my husband respect who I am and my independence.
so what she’s just a chic. tons of them here already and much better to. plus u aint got to spend a dime because they’re already here. but what man wants a chic around all the time anyway? girlymen do. i’d rather eat a pile of dog shit than put up with the drama a women can only bring.
Ah, she is so disillusioned with all these tvs and movies. I live in Australia, its not like that at all. We dont always have clean street etc, it all depends on where you live. In terms of income, i mean seriously, getting 1000 USD will not allow that poor block a means to live the way you want.
No point telling you all these, you will not believe me anyway. DO what you think is right, perhaps one day you will realise its not about the materials you got around you, its about how that one person that you love is treating you, how he tries to make your life better etc.
If you are aiming for rich men who will care and love you at the same time then you need to think about going overseas to study. Best chance to find one is during those time, even then there is no gurantee you wont meet a player.
Funny. I am a Singapore girl and I don’t have strong opinion about Singapore men although I know a lot of Chinese girls like to come to Singapore for our men.
Like you I think Western men are generous and thoughtful
This is a ridiculous post. She says she wants “love,” yet all her stipulations on love involve materialistic things. Sorry, it’s the same story everywhere… you’d just be jumping into another country’s frying pan. Money corrupts individuals just the same as anywhere else. Western men with money visit prostitutes, go drink, go gambling, treat women like crap, just like the rest of them. My advice: LOOK FOR LOVE, NOT MONEY. Money is temporary, and good men with money know this. They’re not looking to invest in a liquidated asset (a woman who wont love them if the money is gone). They’re looking for someone who will stay no matter what (OR, they’re looking for arm candy which will turn into the flavor of the week).
Western men are more generous than others maybe, because our culture values generosity. BUT, they are the same in marriage as everyone else. You aren’t going to get anything different.
Could you prove you are better than Chinese men?
Chinese will be together–even if their wife or their husband is paralysed. They will take the responsibility for their soul mate. If your wife is paralysed, will you always accompany her and take care of her without complaint? I know a girl who married an American, she earned money to support their life. Yet the guy rude to her parents when they came to America to see her.ªThat ¡s very terrible! Chinese precious their parents just like God. Once that girl and her husband enjoy their vacation in Hawaii, she dead in an accident. Her husband find a cheapest funeral and interment company, deal with her worse than a dead cat. He sues the travel agency, get $2 million and soon marry an American woman. How horrible! That guy must the most heartless guy and cold blood person I¡¯ve ever seen. Chinese won¡¯t take their wife like that! ¢ÙTreat her parents rudely. ¢ÚDeal with her body as throw away a powerless battery. Funeral is one of the biggest thing to Chinese! ¢ÛMarry another woman so soon. Obviously, he used his wife! Are Chinese women slavers? Are they deserved to be treating like that?
Yes, we are traditional, faithful women. What we want just a warm family, a trusty husband, love his wife deeply. Is it so hard? Love is a very simple thing. It isn¡¯t business, politics! Love needs wisdom, patient and virtue.
Hey, girl:
I rang the University of Jiaotong, they told me they don’t have any formal or even unformal soccer/football cheer team. So… I wonder if you are real cheer leader of that uni.
Sorry, I am from a magazine, we want to get an interview with you, so I call the university. If ok, would you pls leave me a message or send me an email:
emmachi@asia-city.com.cn
Thanks!
@Singapore Girl
Funny. I am a Singapore girl and I don’t have strong opinion about Singapore men although I know a lot of Chinese girls like to come to Singapore for our men.
I am amused at someone who comes from Singapore, but doesn’t know it should be “Singaporean girl” and not ‘Singapore girl’…while the use of the adjective ‘strong’ in ‘strong opinion’ is absolutely meaningless. Anyway, when I was in Singapore, I’ve heard them ending most of what they say with ‘what’ and ‘lah’, using a brand of English only understood by a mere 3 million people.
It is true that Singaporean men prefer Chinese girls to Singaporean girls. Based on what I’ve been told, Singaporean women expect men to carry their handbags, open doors for them and the like, while expecting equality, whatever that means. It is an absolute contradiction. Singaporean women want to prove that they are independent, strong, and clever (too clever by half, though) while expecting the men to treat them like the weaker sex, when it is to their benefit. Interestingly, Singaporean girls treat American/European man like their ancestors, almost as if they are with God.
Singaporean men also prefer Chinese girls because they are more family-oriented. They are much more able to bring warmth and love to the family, unlike the chauvinistic Singaporean women who are selfish, self-centred and egoistic.
It is no wonder that the international community working and residing in China are attracted to the Chinese women, and not to the large number of Singaporean women there for the picking. Sad sad. They aren’t desirable both at home and abroad. No wonder, for half a dime, they offer themselves to the ‘western men’ lah.
Now, I have seen not a few marriages between American/European men and Singaporean women ending up in divorce in the most acrimonious way. So, like that fictitious Chinese girl, I’d say to Singaporean women who are dreaming, to dream on. Your saying that ‘western men are generous and thoughtful’ betrays your ignorance about the west, not far off that of the fictitious Chinese girl here.
hi there, pretty girl! i am the perfect man for you! i am a westerner (new york) and i live in a huge, huge penthouse in a high-rise building overlooking the central park. i have lots of money, enough so we don’t have to work our whole lives. instead, we can just chill in my huge bath-tub, or read books, watch dvds and have sex all the time. warning though, i have a little, teeny-weeny fetish in lovemaking. what i do is i usually defecate on the face of my partner, before and after sex. and while making love, i cannot stop shitting. so it will be messy (really messy). and after all that greasy lovemaking, i urinate in the mouth of my partner and i want you to swallow all that piss. but im sure you don’t mind, right? a trashy girl like you, and a rich, nasty-ass westerner like me, what a perfect world for both of us.
All the shit and pee….. good for singapore girl
I’m a Canadian citizen currently attending university on the West Coast. I immigrated nine years ago.
This girl has a very idealized image of Western life. What she has seen and heard in movies and commercials represent less than one fraction of North American culture. If she comes here, she’ll be just like the thousands of others bright young Chinese students who have stellar grades, good socioeconomic conditions, and a so-called wonderful personally. What makes her think she will be special?! If she didn’t write that post in English, then what makes her think a Canadian/American guy will pursue her? Absolutely shameless.
I would call myself a Chinese Canadian, but I have no preferences when it comes to dating. Racial differences between Asians and Caucasians don’t factor into my consideration when I “check out” guys. I’m currently happily single =D
What a shame to the chinese ethnicity. She may go to Jiaotong University but her ways if thinking is nothing better than S.H. I. T.
I live in America and there are tons of useless and stupid here as much as there are in china. Men everywhere are the same. You can only find the perfect one if you take the effort to find your match.
This girl can be categorized as a hater of her own people which I am ashame to acknowledge her as chinese.
LOL!!! This is a hilarious post! I met lots of empty shallow girls like her in Shanghai, who are dazzled by the bright lights of shows like Sex & the City who don’t have a clue as to how life in other international regions is. While in Shanghai, I met lots of taxi drivers who are like 40-something yr old guys who can’t make enough money to bring enough food home! I chatted with a guy who was 45 and I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he responded that he can’t hope for ever finding a girl because he doesn’t have any time after driving for freakin 16 hours a day in his dilapidated old cab, trying to make enough money to even have a freakin decent meal with his parents.
Nothing is ever easy. But this girl is hot, so she would be able to attract lots of foreign guys. I would go for her if I met her. Not sure how long it’d last though. You know what they say: hot girls are usually for fun, not for marriage. My advice to her is, do the best in your situation for now, and don’t dream too big. Maybe someone will rescue you from the dumps, or maybe not. You never know.
One of those dumb clucks who thinks the grass is greener on the other side when it is not.
@pug_ster
Yeah, when the duck finally gets across to the other side, someone will be looking down at it with a double barrelled shot gun lol and says… “JackPot!”
Both of you are fags.
Had he known you were like this, your dad should have held back three seconds so he could ejaculate onto the wall instead, to save me from being pissed off today because of you, wasting my time to replying to this post.
This is quite probably the most fun statement I’ve ever read.
haha, illusion of grandeur.
I kind of doubt the authenticity of this article, I don’t think any one who has received at least a bit of higher education would be as naive as she is.
I mean, she just submitted her imagination to one stereotype after another one. Thinking every bald burger flipper named Earl is a prospective clark gable, who also owns a BWM and a greek revival maison by the bay.
Now this is almost as absurd as people in the states thinking every asian is a kungfu master in disguise.
Does she like Madonna songs?
You’re a hot girl now so make use of your body while you have it, and learn to save your money.
You know very well that as a hot girl, you will always be choosy and picky, never be able to settle down with a guy because your mind, like other hot girls, will always be thinking that “the grass is greener on the other side” with a different guy.
Rather than wasting your time chasing western guys, you would be richer if you use that time to extract money from them. Keep this in mind: Western guys are walking ATMs.
Hell, why not take it one step further, go straight for the ATM!!! Oh yeahhhhh, I picture it in my head perfectly now, hot steamy robotic machine sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx… OH KINK AND PERVERTED… Public sex with robots!
4 chan here I come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love exists only for a few priviledged which fate determines, so you have no control regarding meeting the love of your life. In the mean time, nothing’s wrong with making money while you wait for the right one. Many hot chinese girls are capitalizing on their assets (hot bodies). This girl should also, while she still has a hot body.
…on living in the US on $1000/month (USD)
Only thing about this little money in the US, it is low enough for a citizen to qualify for food stamps, cash and energy assistance (for help paying utilities), and health care. They could also get some housing assistance, and be able to afford a small not-so-good apartment or trailer after a very long wait for one to open up.
They would have some food to eat, heat in the winter. Air conditioners are cheap here, so they would probably be able to afford one in the window to cool one room with sheets or curtains over the doorways to keep it in.
They would not be sick or untreated mentally. Any children would go to local schools for free.
There is a gap, though, which many Americans fall through. These people make too much money to qualify for assistance, but not enough to really live well. Even these people, they get health insurance for their children, schools and good lunches for their children while attending.
It is also not true that western men are more cultivated or independent.
Growing up I was taught not to spit, to use a toilet when required by nature, to hold doors and chairs for women, and to stand in line and wait my turn, speaking quietly in public. These are not inherent to my Western character, they are merely lessons which any could apply. Those so taught, behave so.
I’ll address our independence next.
The freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom to swim without Chinese farmers olging are not necessarily suitable for all of Earth
I am free, regardless of the rules that surround me, because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.
Many are in the habit of saying that no people ought to be free until they are fit to use their freedom. That idea is like those who would not go into the water until after they’ve learned to swim.
Most men, after a little freedom, prefer to surrender back to authority with its consoling assurances, rather than accepting the effort which freedom requires.
For the tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Please forgive me for paraphrasing.
She talks about clean streets and air. In USA? LA, SF, NY
My hometown, Pittsburgh, has “replaced LA as the most polluted city in the US” this year. http://www.citymayors.com/environment/polluted_uscities.html
Like LA, the air around Pittsburgh suffers from an effect known as atmospheric inversion, or temperature inversion, when you have an higher layer of warm air acting as a cap on particles trapped in cooler air below. (This is also known to happen above Beijing.) This increases short term particle buildup from car exhaust.
Ironically, for 2008, Pittsburgh is also ranked “America’s Most Livable City” by Places Rated Almanac. It is a prestigious acknowledgment that is selected for one American city each year. The last time Pittsburgh was #1 was in 1985.
Even though we call our pollution bad, on most days our skies are blue, with puffy white clouds clinging near the mountain tops. Or our skies are grey, as rain or snow or thunder take over.
Mostly it’s just this haze in the sky during rush hour, as all the office workers head home for the day.
I live about 25km from downtown. As for the streets around my home, if you look closely you will see cigarette butts and small pieces of paper… perhaps one small piece of debris every 10 meters. It is not uncommon to see neighbors sweeping their sidewalks, and a machine comes through every week or so to clean and vacuum the streets.
Also once a week everyone places their trash neatly inside cans at the curb, and other trucks come by to collect it. Recyclable things like glass bottles or tin cans are rinsed out and placed in a plastic bin beside the trash.
The closer you get to downtown, or around developments of subsidized housing for the poor like I mentioned way up there, the more litter you will see, and the larger and more obvious it becomes.
In the neighborhoods immediately surrounding the city, between 5-10km, commonly called the ghetto, you will see things like McDonald’s wrappers, crumpled receipts, and many cigarette butts.
On certain streets you will see sometimes dirty needles, or more often needle caps or rubber tourniquets. Empty little packets and baggies are also common in such places. Here you will see several pieces of litter, big and small, every meter.
Here when it’s time, bags are piled at the curbs, and sometimes boxes or bundles of newspapers go out with it. Many people still care enough to use their recycle bin, although not most, and it is frequent to see cans with sauce remaining inside.
Every now and then you will see someone in such a place who is taking pride in their area’s appearance. These buildings stick out quite a bit because of it, and you can tell that while it may not be much they’ve earned such a home.
(I know as well that drug use, messy habits, and a lack of pride also goes on in my neighborhood, and neighborhoods like it all over the country. But those sorts of buildings are much harder to notice from the outside.)
Finally you reach downtown, between 0-5km, which is cut through by two mostly litter-free rivers, one clear and one brown, which meet at a place called The Point. Here the rivers feed a fountain which shoots perhaps 12 meters into the air.
The streets themselves are old, 10+ years on average, paved asphalt over brick. Fairly frequent potholes wait to twist your ankle or swallow your tire, and sometimes the sidewalks are cracked. But shopkeepers and janitors at the offices sweep the sidewalks, and trucks again patrol the streets, but much more often than around my home.
Downtown Pittsburgh it is rare to see more than a few cigarette butts every 10 meters, and almost nothing larger than that.
This city was not always so nice to go downtown though. It only changed because there are now many campaigns, which are of course voluntary, but consist mainly of advertisements on posters and radio reminding people to be responsible and pick up their litter. There are trash cans on many street corners, which are emptied by city employees.
People downtown are generally in too much of a hurry to be very cordial. But if you stumble in the street someone will help you up. Crowds bunch up to get through doorways but there is no pushing. But don’t expect a lot of smiles and hellos.
Back in my neighborhood, though, being friendly is common. People walk their dogs, and wave to one another on the street. Sometimes they will stop to talk for a moment before moving on.
I am not rich, or even that well off by American standards. I stay in a house with my girlfriend (who I’ve been with for 18 years) and a male roommate. None of our neighbors think this is strange or inappropriate. We have a small yard (perhaps 3 or 4 meters square), and a dog, and a cat.
…what irritates me was when some people whom I presume are not Chinese tried to insult China and its people by comparing it with other countries…
I’m not a Chinese. I’m not even Chinese-American. And I’m not trying to insult China, or Chinese, or Chinese-Americans, either.
There are a lot of misconceptions about what life is really like in other parts of the world. I’m here because it’s pretty much the only uncensored view inside China I’ve ever found. (I love your website, Fauna.) I want to try to clear up some of my own misconceptions about China. I feel it is only fair to offer something in return, and the only thing I have is my perspective.
I’m not trying to sound arrogant, or act like I’m “bringing fire to the savages”. I don’t mind if you hate America, I don’t mind if you dislike me. But hate me for who and what I really am. Not because of a knee-jerk reaction or fairy tales.
China has no reason to feel inferior, and I would not want to make you feel so even if I could.
Oh, and I’m sorry my posts are so long.
Over half the American population do not live luxurious lives in big, fancy, comfortable houses.
Single-family, detached houses account for 63% of the total dwelling units in the United States. Average house size is ~700 square meters, and the average household size is 2.6 members.
Look at the global crisis, all caused by the West.
Yes, the “global credit crunch” or the “housing crisis”, which ever you want to call it, is pretty much all our fault. China played a role, but that was actually our fault, too.
I’m not being sarcastic, but it’s long and this post is already long enough, and I doubt you really care anyway.
Thanks for the insights.
jayman, your post is too long trying to rebut the physical aspects. The substance of this girl’s post was not meant to disparage the physical aspects of life in China. She was lamenting on the mental aspects, or the approach towards life, in China, where for example, people spit without thinking twice. It’s not the physical aspect of spitting, but the attitude towards spitting, and she loathes this attitude of “I don’t care if the streets are clean, I’m going to spit anyways because who cares?” This attitude is pervasive in chinese people. Yes, very selfish of them, but that’s the way they are.
My point is that rather than her wasting time chasing dreams of “the grass is greener on the other side,” this girl should be realistic and understand that she has a hot body, meaning she owns a potentially productive asset that can generate very high income in the short-run. She should put this asset to use. Her body will not be hot forever. Of course, the trick is to learn to save her money when the cash comes rolling in.
If you are well off, it is better to live in China than any western countries, and it will just get better as time pass. This idea of marrying a white man and move to the west will be a thing of the past if not already for the Chinese females as China gets richer.
Soon, westerners will all flock to China for jobs, just wait and see…
I forgot to include my email address…
davidtchang@gmail.com
if any of you want to respond to me personally, please do so, and if you are gay, I’m interested to get more acquainted.
@Jayman, well said. I think you brought a fair balance to the discussion. The physical condition in USA is a result of what John called the ‘mental aspect” of many an American.
Your are right about the living standard and the quality of life in the US which is far removed from the writer’s hollywood-would-have-you-believe dreams.
@Taiwan Boy, you are right. In fact, a lot of third grade westerners are already there because they can’t find a job in their home countries. Soon, maybe in my generation, we should see even the first grade workers migrating there.
For a long time, the USA has been admired because it was rich and powerful. The same may be said for some European countries too. The fulcrum of economic activity will continue to shift in large part to India and China, and to a smaller extent, the rest of Asia. We can expect to see significant decline in the awe which Asians previously had for the west. In time, the rarity of the presence of the white man will wear off, making him no longer as exotic as he used to appear to be to, for example, the Chinese, who not so long ago were prevented by their iron curtain from seeing that God also made human beings look some other way .
As western people flock to China by the thousands, there will be competition which will drive them to accept lower and eventually local wages, which will go up. This phenomenon is already seen in developed Asian countries like Singapore, where the phrase ‘expat terms’ is no longer current.
Don’t know whether this issue has been raised before – but the grass is greener syndrome is hardly the preserve of a materialistic young woman from Jiaotong University dreaming of a better life overseas, possible only if she was hitched to a rich, well mannered man from the West.
Here in Australia, there are probably just as many disillusioned men who rightly or wrongly, think that their relationship problems would be solved if they were partnered to a young, sexually compliant, East Asian woman. Of course, those in the know generally know better. East Asian women are not always compliant and they have their share of inconvenient headaches as well.
So what is the path to true happiness? Do people like these deserve each other? Is harsh reality the only effective way of popping these people out of their self-deluded bubbles? (to use Kai’s words)
I don’t know. I take the view however that people who see a glass of water as being half empty will always continue do so, no matter where they are or who they are married to. They will be blind to the opportunities around them in their never ending search for the full glass of sparkling water.
…the young woman, the old man, the white man, black man, yellow man, the common attribute, when all is said and done, is the folly of man. The lust of the eye, seeking material comforts which are temporal.
Naked we come to this world, naked we will leave it. We’re gonna leave behind our Harvard or Jiaotong degrees, our Swiss Bank accounts, our various possessions.
There is nothing wrong in wanting to make our lives a little more comfortable. All the inventions were intended for this, but mankind is never satiated. Making one’s life better for the common good is totally different from avarice, which is based on SELF. When greed rears its ugly head, it brings out the worst in us.
I wish for a kinder people, people with compassion and love for one another, regardless of race and national boundaries.
A Chinese whore should not to be condemned but loved. Let him who has not sinned be the first to throw the stone at her.
@Smickno
You called her a chinese whore?! Damn…. that is just plain nasty \(‘o’)/
And i dont agree with the phrase “Let him who has not sinned cast the first stone!” Its rediculous in a world where imperfection is humanity to make such a statement. If everyone adopts that kind of idea, our laws and morale will cease to exist. For example, if someone publicly grope your girl friend’s arse, you cant condemned him or do anything cause you are not without sin. So you should just let him do what he wants or let him go. So that statement is ludicrous at best. Besides we are not condemning her just telling her that we believe her desire may not turn out well or her impression of what she think was great may be just an illusion.
Please if you throw in the bible into this discussion, you are pathetic. Everyone knows whatever written in it is subject to interpretation. The bible was just portraying Jesus trying to tell the public not to condemn someone until all the story was heard, that is all. It was not a statement to tell everyone to not judge anyone. Otherwise there is no such thing is a good or bad in this world without judging.
@Ron. Cheating on taxes is punishable under the law. Render unto Caesar that which is due to him and to God that which is due to Him.
What is the difference between the woman who lusts after money and sells her body and another who gets it by marrying a man for his wealth, within the institution of marriage? There is no difference in the underlying motive, while the means appear to be different.
Woe to you, Ron. Your interpretation, as you call it, of the stone is well-noted. Only one Man on earth before, now and ever after has not sinned and He alone is fit to cast that stone.
Judge not…for we are not qualified to judge another’s morals whether enacted as crimes or not. HE will come back and judge. Amen.
Does anyone else here think that personality transcends culture? Wouldn’t she be an annoying in any culture?
That was my point man, and Ann kept on talking shit. She’s a stuck-up. I don’t care who she screws or whatever, but she’s a stuck-up from the way she presented herself.
@John
jayman, your post is too long trying to rebut the physical aspects
True, I didn’t mean for that part to become so big, or to dominate so much of the whole, but I felt it was important to describe the differences, even within a mere 25km, that exist inside America and mainly the condition of the streets in those areas. A tourist who only visited downtown might never know how ugly things are such a short distance away. Someone who only saw those ugly parts might not realize the opposite.
LZ may find a neighborhood just such as Wisteria Lane, but travel just 1km in any direction and she will find something completely different, perhaps unpleasant.
@Smickno
Thank you.
The physical condition in USA is a result of what John called the ‘mental aspect” of many an American.
The two are closely tied together, I agree, but not completely the same. I can not speak to the selfishness of Chinese, I do not know enough. But I can say that there are many selfish people here.
My room mate is such a person, where he often tells me that he does not have enough money to buy himself something, so I get something and share. Later he will buy something for himself, and not share with me.
And it is not his poverty which prevents this, for he makes more than me. It is simply his heart: he does not have concern for others. And this is very common in America. It’s like their empathy has been murdered.
RE: judge not
Criminals may be judged, but only by those empowered by the law to do so. It is not for the father to judge the molester, it is for the police to do so, regardless of the morality and worthiness of any individual police man.
Jesus was very sensitive to the issue of Roman or secular law, and was always very careful to avoid suggesting that it should ever be broken.
Here he is more referring to the idea that spending all your time worrying about the shortcomings of others is a very good excuse to ignore your own. As in, “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”
I do not say this directed at any person. I only use “you” as it was quoted.
@TahwYOJ
Great minds think alike, buddy. Too many princesses in any country these days. I blame Hello Kitty.
Dear Me,
Do you know what’s a fairy tale? Stuff you watch on the telly or movies isn’t real. I was trapped like many.
I married an American after my studies in the States. After two years, he dumped me for another girl. All the romance and “love you” whispers were phony; only good initially. The mystery of an Asian girl just vaporized like that when new ones come along.
I guess it’s the culture. A wife is just a shirt which most of the Western men changes when he grows tired of it.
“Love” is nothing more than “having sex”. You’ll be disappointed.
I’m coming home.
Fiona – Sorry to hear about your disaster. You probably deserved better, and I hope something better comes your way. Jiatong girl, if she is reading this, would probably benefit from your experience. But I can’t help wondering if the cause of your marriage break-up was more to do with mis-matched expectations and personalities rather than getting hitched to a Western man. Surely there must be just as many Asian men who are quite happy to start a mistress collection once they tire of the novelty of having a wife? Wouldn’t there be some truth to the refrain of disappointed women that “all men are the same”?
Go for it, girl! There is only one life – live it.
Your dream can be naive. But hey, most beginnings (albeit some bad ones) start with a dream. The Wright brothers dreamt to fly. The black dreamt to have a black American president.
These readers and commenters do want you to re-think it because often life do not turn out as you expected. You should open your eyes widely and not dreamily about the perfect Westerner.
But then if you never dream and hope, you’ll never know.
Wise proverb: To explore and see the horizon, first you have to leave the shore.
Have a good advice for you. You are one whole person looking for another whole person. Not two halfs trying to become one in a marriage. If you know how to enjoy your life without pinning for someone, you’ll be even more secure when you marry. Your spouse will respect you because you are not easily swayed.
Wishing you the best,
Kaffein
not event a tiny bit of shame! on this part, i worship so much of her unbelivable trash-dumped skull!
It took me quite a while to read through the comments. My conclusion is that 99% of the people offering opinions on here don’t really know what’s going on here. This article is quite obviously a planted viral article in the same vein as the viral videos (claiming that Chinese people born in the eighties were trash) that made the rounds a few months ago. Basically, the purpose is to induce furious and heated debate as well as some of the stronger reactions to be found on many of the local BBS. In the aforementioned video, she made a point of showing off her wealth, her ferrari and villas as something young people born in the eighties could never achieve due to their inherent inferiority. Anyway, this article is a hoax and it’s a hoax perpetrated by Chinese people for the purpose of stirring online debate and rouse the crowds to take a stance against something – in this case Chinese women dating Western men or looking at the West through rose-tinted glasses. You can say it’s Chinese anti-Western propaganda for the Internet age and from the looks of this post, it is working very damned well!
Anyway, this article is a hoax and it’s a hoax perpetrated by Chinese people for the purpose of stirring online debate –
~Exactly.
That was my first impression as well. But its been fun. Now I have to go live life, and shut off this machine.
this girl has hit the nail on the head. She is smart and doesn’t belong where she is regardless her idealistic view of the western world. The article should be read with a view to improve what is lacking in the current chinese society. Being under the communist regime for so long where being very different from others is not well received by fellow citizens China has become an empire with no character. People have great pride but not know what pride means. this is why they do what they do spit/rude and do not know what’s wrong in it. This girl knows it and takes it to the extreme to make her point. She only desires better china which no one can dispute. It will get there in 30 or 40 years as the new generation rids of old generation. She is just ahead of her time.
I’m a Black American Male who lived in Shanghai China, going to Fudan University to learn Chinese/Chinese culture as a study abroad student.
I understand what the story is about because I have many Chinese female friends and I’ve dated Chinese women before.
I have a theory that Chinese women who become more exposed to Western culture and more exposed to American/European foreigners will tend to feel this way because they see something different in us than they do in Chinese men.
it is undeniable that Western men are more likely to be chivalrous do to the different culture. Paying for dates, holding doors open for ladies, throwing away our own garbage and being polite are some of our common qualities – true.
But, I think alot of the expectations this materialist girl has from Chinese men are due to culture shock since she’s basically taking a liking to Western men. The Chinese men aren’t going to turn around and be like us overnight so, its up to Chinese women to demand more out of their men in order to change the culture to their liking. Or…they can just keep marrying foreign men. I personally think alot of China’s women who see western romance have decided that American romance and culture is the one worth having.
As a socilogist, I believe that this poster wants to be more like what she believes is the elite western culture. I personaly don’t believe any culture is better than another but, its hard to argue that women who see western women being treated as what they percieve is “better” will desire it too.
To Normgarry,
Really? I think it may be true in US since i have never been there but in AUstralia, its not the same. Most men in Australia go dutch and they dont open the door for girls. When they love them, they show it by getting intimate in the bed room. Its pretty sad. In regards to manner, i believe what you see may only be pervasive in China. I remember vividly when i was a student in Singapore that mostly guys would offer to pay etc and we dont spit on the street etc as well. So in a way you may be right about the habit in China being uncouth. I dont agree it as being called a culture, cause i am sure Westerner do not have these behaviour ingrained in their culture therefore it is something trained and accepted. I would call it common practise albeit not socially appealing.
well after all Wendy Murdoch did succeed. If she whores herself enough, i’m sure there’s gonna be some rich old dude who’s silly enough to take the bait.
Have fun!
I am a western man. I have a very good job, 2 cars, my own (large) home with a hot-tub, swimming pool and large rooms for entertaining. I am thought of as very attractive; fit, tall, blue eyes.
Reading the description of yourself, I thought you are someone I would love to get to know…fall in love with…but…
I soon realized that you are so material, that there is no way any man could ever please you unless they simply throw money at you all day. My mother was a beautiful woman, but my father was just average with a lousy job. She loved him anyway and were very happy for many years together. We never had such a large house or finer things…but we had what most rich people do not have: each other. If you cannot find “love” because they don’t have enough to give you, then you are just as bad, if not worse, that those men you reject.
I would be embarrassed to be with a little immature girl like you. I’d rather find someone half as pretty and love each other for who we are.
RON (reply)
I’ve never been to Australia but I am interested in visiting there, New Zealand and Palau.
American men typically hold the door open for whoever is behind them. Other men, or other women. It is a sign of curtesy. In fact, people get really pissed at you if you let doors slam in their face and it can start a fight.
When I lived in China, I saw chinese boys walk right through and let doors slam in their girl’s faces – big heavy GLASS doors, LOL. My friend and I watched and laughed at em.
MAX
Chinese women value beauty and because they are getting more and more acclimated to American culture, now they value lasting romances where they aren’t treated like houswives or slave girls. I think this is because they end up working equally in China in offices and careers to earn a living.
Alot of Chinese guys don’t marry women who are making just as much or more than they are because they perfer to have women depending on them. I have female friends in China right now that are sexy enough to marry but men don’t want them because they are highly educated and have careers. Men here do the same thing – they don’t want women they can’t control….women who are highly paid. That’s part of the reason American men prey on women from poor countries.
Personaly, I am not worried about how much a woman makes or what she has. I’m not a person who buys everything I see. The only thing I really enjoy is a good car. The only thing I desire from a woman is that she deeply in love with me. Not cause of what I’ve got. But for how I make her feel.
This poster above is more worried about becoming a dark skinned granny that being with a true love.
the girl very stupid , they know nothing about the western men. how to marry them.? naive chinese girl.she never knows how honest the chinese husband !
American men are so huge, i don’t think you’ll be able to handle them. And I’m not talking about their tool. I’m talking about their tummy. With the amount of fast food they eat, he’ll be at least a dozen times bigger than you. You’d suffocate to death the very first night that tub of lard tries to make love to you. Then, he’ll just bury you and move on to an American girl the next day who has a nicer face and figure than you and who won’t die on him while having sex. If you want an American man, make sure you can compete with the tons of American girls first. What makes you think they’ll choose you over them? You may seem to be on top of the world when you haven’t seen the rest of the world beyond your own, but rest assured young lady, the world is alot bigger and badder than the tiny world that lives in your head.
a really beautiful girl
wish I was younger and maybe I might have a chance
I live in Ireland
XENOS
Your comment is fkin stupid.
You should throw yourself off a bridge into a moat with crocodiles.
Hey Sista, you forgot to mention getting the KNOB! Every Chinese girlfriend that I had, never got pummeled so much before that in her life. And all the Chinese girls I know all like Westerners because we bang the hell out of them everyday. They want the COCK! HA
ugly lame guys who cant get laid go to china to find chinese wifes and girlfriend’s etc.. if someones excuse is that they like chinese girls then chinese are easy yo find everywhere in each country almost and if the guy gots game he can find a chinese woman easy and not having to go to china to try his luck with the desperate women there.
@ Dev
For you to say that “ugly, lamers” go to China to get wives cause they can’t score at home, is an ignorant, idiotic,stereotypical statement.
First of all, Chinese girls are pretty and they are friendly. Guys who travel to Asia on business or for school may meet someone and fall for them just because the chemistry was right.
All you are doing is sexualizing Chinese women and making it sound as if they are all desperate for foreign men.
The way I see it, if Chinese women are willing to break their culture norms and even date foreign men, then maybe the Chinese men aren’t doing enough to make them happy.
@CAED
I’d really like to say your being unfair by claiming Chinese women date western men just for better sex…but I can’t, cause I know its true. Western men (like myself) try to show women (especially foreign women) a good time in their home towns and when it comes to laying pipe, my foreign girlfriends have told me NO ONE does it better.
Years back, this Japanese author wrote a book about romance with an American Black guy and it was a best seller. All the sudden Black men became a fashion neccessity and we couldn’t even walk the streets of Tokyo without being propositioned. Its nice to be wanted !
@Fiona Xie
Ignorant, ignorant girl. Do you really think “Chinese men” and “Western men” differ? Men are men. It’s so, so common for Chinese guys with any affluence or wealth to have multiple girlfriends in addition to their stay-at-home missionary-only wife, as it is with some western men, but the difference is western guys may hide it or may be direct with their wives and end that relationship in divorce. Chinese relationships with their mistresses are public, it’s common to brag about them and flaunt their attractive young girlfriends at business meetings or hanging with friends, “This is my 3rd girlfriend, ho ho ho hooohhh.” Would you rather be a wife with a husband possibly cheating on you but hiding it, or a wife with a husband cheating on you in public view? Either way, you risk a significant chance of someone cheating in any relationship, regardless of race, and you’re ignorant to believe you’ll find some kind of purity in any country. Men are men. Just as women are women. Women aren’t all so loyal either, I’ve slept with my fair share of married women – some who haven’t let me know they’re married until afterwards, which promptly ends that arrangement. :)
recipe for aids and stds–better not to have sex with any chinese, unless virgin, and thats jail bait. They dont talk about sex or health and the STD problem in China is a lot bigger they the gov. lets on. When Chinese ask, ‘why do you see China as a threat’–isn’t it obvious.
I am an American woman married to a honest, respectful Chinese man that doesn’t spit, visit prostitutes, nor does he have any other undesirable habits. I think this girl, lovely as she is, lives in a “dream world” As an American woman I can truly say that her definition of “western” men is not at all accurate. I hate to bust her “dream bubble” but in reality the cultured and the yokels can be found in all countries, God knows, I’ve seen my share thereforeI thank God that I have found such a wonderful, honest man of Chinese heritage that has the best civil behaviours I have ever seen in an individual in any country.
you need to spend a week in America, this will encourage you to think of your thoughts
Hi there, first I have to admit I didn’t read ALL the comments in here since there are way too many…
After I read this post i just felt sad, I don’t think it’s something new to anyone, not to chinese people ( who I’m aware that usually discuss about this topic ) not to western people, who are usually affected by this ( I’m one of them ).
I think that this topic must be watched from different points of view.
From a Westerner’s view, I have to say that it’s scary to think that many girls in china feel the way this one ( even if it was a fake someone had to write it ), this means that when you meet a chinese girl you must never trust them the way you would trust a western one.
Chinese people are far more complicate on this things than we are, although I have been already quite a long time into ‘your’ world I have never completely understood why you make life so difficult.
I’m right now with a chinese girl, she is really an exception to all this, she will never ask me for money unless she is in some real trouble, I can even ask her, we live in a very poor house with 10 people in it and we are really happy.
But as I said she is an exception, I’ve met some other chinese girls since I started to study your culture, language and gone. All of them but my current partner really tried to trick me on a thousand ways just to get me in love with them.
But as someone have said before, we are not stupid ( some just do pretend to be ), the ones who could evenctually accomplish her dream will definately not be the ones that pretend to be stupid or that fall into their tricks. However the ‘a thousand tricks’ are not an exageration, and this makes me afraid and unwilling to trust to almost any one. My current partner after a year has gained my trust but it’s really been because of fortune.
From a chinese guy’s view, although I’m western I can speak by empathy, It must be anoying, disturbing and sad to hear someone say all this. It’s really unfair for them, I’ve met many many chinese guys, some have tricked me, some have shown me that they dont care about their couples and some have showed me that they are really good people, who could be amazing partners…
Just like westerners, some tick, some play arround and some are cool!
Western people are not better nor worse than chinese people, we might have had some fully open education and might have had the chance to travel and to be kids for longer since we didn’t have to stay the whole day and night in a school.
We are not that different!!!
Then I understand that chinese women have this kind of dreams, girls were alike a few decades ago, when we were at a similar economical situation as chinese are right now..
I believe it’s just because of education, lack of traveling and gossiping.
I hope that, the way that my girl learned how all this should be fair, other girls will evenctually learn about it.
This is not a westerner. Bursh up on your English.
i just read your article and all i can say is you’re a fucking moron. nowhere is perfect and i dont think you can consider yourself ‘worldly’ just because you watched a lot of tv growing up. i feel sorry for you and if you’re so smart, why dont you try to use that education to get you out of china and stop relying on a man. you claim to hate the chinese men because they revolve their lives around their girlfriends/wives, but isnt that pretty mcuh what *you* want to do? the way you just put down your people (and yes, they are *your* people) is incredibly disrespectful and childish. grow up, you’re pathetic!!!!
I didn’t read the comments but this story can’t surprise me, most of the post-80 or post 90 chinese girls are greedy whores who have no taste for genuine love, they are only interested in wealthy boss or white males, and they eagerly want to get out of china, however, I don’t blame them, 人往高处走，水往低处流，its always like that.
I just feel so lucky that my girl is loving me so much, and vice versa.
@Peteryang
RE: “greedy whores who have no taste for genuine love, they are only interested in wealthy boss or white males”
And guys (whatever skin color) are seedy whores, they are only interested in newer and younger pussy. What’s your point?
There are always exceptions, in fact, the exception in this case may be ‘the whores’ (both male and female)…that crowd just isn’t as loud and obvious.
What are you people? Support crew? Lmao@all these so called supporters who are no doubt all caucasian males.
There is a word for girls like this. Dont worry, its a English word.
We, over here, call girls like this “GOLDDIGGERS”.
hey smart guy–read the comments–nobody supports her, but they do have intelligent thigs to say–and many of those things were said by women–and people of all nationalities and races. Why does it have to be ‘white guys’? One comment I read even claimed to be African-American. Why are Chinese people so insecure and hateful, esp, of ‘white men’?
God… This girl is retarded!…
Well, I’m a Chinese-American, a proud Chinese-American who always gets discouraged, irritated, and extremely dissappointed after reading articles like this.
The female in particular is pretty ambitious for things to happen in her Life. That’s fine and all, but why did she have to go and insult Chinese men? What exactly did Chinese men do to her that makes her hate them so much? What is she going to gain out of insulting Chinese men? Why don’t she take responsibility and try to make her country better instead of fleeing to another country?
One important thing I learned in my Life is to never ever look down on anyone regardless of their physicality or their actions. Why? Simply because I’m not them, I don’t know them, and I don’t understand where they are coming from.
I went to a middle school that was in a Black neighborhood. The school was about 60% Black. Of course, I hated it at first. There were people cussing and getting violent with each other all the time. There are times when you can’t even make eye contact with people without them swearing and cussing at you. But, I got used to it and I adjusted. I got to know some of the people there, and once I got to know them. I understood where they were coming from, and in actuality, they were some of the coolest, nicest people I’ve ever met.
I could have easily dismissed them and saw them as uncivilized and uncultured monkeys (how Chinese males have been described in some comments and in her post)….but I didn’t want to that type of arrogant and negative thoughts in me. I wanted to understand. I don’t want to judge. I knew them as real people.
I think this is the main problem right here. A lot of judging and name-calling based on nothing but illogical hatred. Both sides, Chinese males and females are attacking each other without really understanding each other. And as a Chinese person, I’ve seen too much of this stuff.
I Never liked Chinese. They are monsters who destroy everything what they touch. I saw what they did to Mongolians and Manchurians, their culture and their land. I hope Chinese monster will wanish one day like a bad dream.
Well, I’m a Chinese-American, a proud Chinese-American who always gets discouraged, irritated, and extremely dissappointed after reading articles like this—
happy you are not an oversea chinese.. aside that you should fix your racism..
happy you are not an oversea chinese.. aside that you should fix your racism..
You make no sense–how is this blogger racist? Why do Chinses always tell other people ‘you should’ fix your behavior. Perhaps, you are the one who is racist. You don’t like Chinese-Americans claiming to be American do you. ‘The Chinese is one race’ No. You are a nationality. And Tiawan is not part of mainland China, either, and niether are Chinese-Americans.
怎一个“贱”了得。
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Dominick Fuccillo
Analyst
Mergers and Acquisitions – Americas
Deutsche Bank Securities Inc.
60 Wall Street
New York, NY 10005
China has become such a shit hole that I really can not imagine being male and surrounded by such female scum all day.
I am lucky to have left China when I was very young. While Chinese men are still faced with such Asian female scum in the USA, we can and are successful enough to ignore them and go after white girlfriends, latin girlfriends, and black beauties. Chinese men in China has no choice and because of political corrupted, they have no way out. I see a revolution coming…
@saba
dude that ad is ANCIENT
This can’t be written by a girl. I really do wish she will get her wish and marry the man of her dream. I hope he works as a dish washer at McD’s. LOL..
Obvious, this girl has been brainwashed by Hollywood. So funny.
This has to be a loser white guy trying to stroke his ego. This is what white people do.
I think its so funny how half the people are saying “this can’t be a chinese girl, its gotta be a white guy”, and the other half: “this girl is brainwashed watching to much American TV”
Nobody considers the possibility that its possible for someone to feel this way and be annoyed with their own people?
I believe this really is exactly who she says it is. I’ve got Chinese girl friends who feel this exact same way – although they may not neccesarily express their feelings as harshly.
NORMGARRY
People are annoyed with her because it is a stereotype; she is taking an attribute and applying it to the entire Chinese ethnicity. People are the same from any culture. There are as much rude men in China as there are in Canada.
Dear MM:
To give you context, I am a Chinese American. I have been an American Citizen for the past twenty-five years. I have a great education; I make over $10,000 USD a month; I own two houses and a BWM 750 automobile. I can kick your Western man’s ass any time of the day if the occasion calls for it: intellectually and physically.
However, I totally agree with your assessment of Chinese men. They are a bunch of losers without manners or any sense of self. It is a tragedy that this ancient civilization has become a heap of stinking excrement.
I do sympathize with your situation.
With that said, I have to educate and criticize you on your auto-racism, racism against the people of African descent, and your blind worship of anything with White skin.
AUTO-RACSIM & RACISM
While your criticism of the Chinese men’s behavior, their rudeness and crudeness, their mindlessness, and general lack of sophistication are right on, your attack on their physicality disgusted me. You make me physically sick.
You are an auto-racist. You wrote: “Then I look at the Chinese guys around me: their small eyes, lumpy noses, thick lips, and if their skin is tanned a bit, they look remarkably like Africans. Those who have been educated almost all look malnourished, making me worried whether they can protect me or not. Occasionally, there is a muscular man; but despite having grown a head, they did not grow a brain.”
Small, sharp, penetrating eyes that carry confidence and vigor is the mark of masculinity. Ever notice that when a tiger attacks, he narrows his eyes? We Asian men had been the most ferocious warrior in history. Our ancestors ruled more then half of the globe. Small eyes? You haven’t seen mine—how attractive and powerful they can be. Large, round eyes on a man only make him look weak and innocent—hardly the mark of power; furthermore, large, round eyes can look quite retarded.
Our lumpy noses? Your are blinded by your prejudice. Caucasian men has the most crocked, hooked, and disproportionately large noses. I would venture to say for most of them, their noses are their faces.
Have you kissed a man with thick lips? Thin, stretched lips? Any women that actually did would prepare a kisser with thicker lips—especially when it goes beyond the lips and below the panty line.
Your racism towards Black people is quite amazing. Your brain has been inundated with so much negative imagery of Black people (Asian people as well) that even Danzel Washington wouldn’t catch your racist eyes—I bet you don’t even know him, an Oscar winner, do you? You wrote as though you prefer manly men but haven’t you noticed that the world’s best athletes and fighters are Black? You are a sad human being.
Did your father know that you despise his eyes, his lumpy nose, and his well-earned tan from working to support your upbringing?
BLIND WHITE WORSHIP
You wrote: My greatest wish in life is to marry a Western man.
You wrote: What I value the most: I simply like Western men.
Your decision was made by the imagery from Hollywood. You, and the entire Chinese population, has been brainwashed to elevate the White race to the point of having White skin is equal to godliness.
How much more racist can you be against your own race.
How many Caucasian men have you met? Did you know that the Caucasians you see in the movies are one in a million? You think that an average American looks, dresses, and acts like that? You are a fool.
You expect a salary of a thousand USD a month to buy a house and a car in America? You can’t even afford a shoe box in Los Angeles with that income. I am not even going to address this stupidity.
You think that Western children have a strong sense of independence and they will not demand their mom to always clean up after them and cater to their every whim? You are an idiot. Americans are spoiled with a sense of entitlement. Not only will they expect their moms to clean up after them, they want their moms to buy them everything under the sky.
I hope you get your wish.
You, and the Chinese men in your writing, are a product of their environment, an environment of corrupt autocratic rule, lawlessness, and a failure of a once great people.
Yes, I can see that you’re well edubecated:
“Caucasian men has the most crocked….”
Rolling my eyes like cherries on a slot machine.
The only ass you’ve probably kicked is your own–around the block.
And enough with your demonization of Chinese social culture followed by feigned indignation at her supposed auto-racism. Tell me, is that anything like auto-eroticism? I think you might know.
@longducdong04
It’s funny how you condemn her for being an auto-racist, and then go on to make so many racist comments towards white people. Do you realize how ridiculous that is?
Fuller,
You are right. It was the heat of the moment. I should’ve qualified my comments.
By the way, she is an auto-racist, I am not. Do you know what an auto-racist is?
@ Fuller
This is an old thread which has been roundly read and/or criticised by people from both sides: the Chinese themselves as well as the other group, the non-Chinese, especially the West.
A number of commenters have finally come to the conclusion that this article is fake, just a piece of thesis written by a person using a fake character. But since the thesis superlatively contrasted Chinese with Americans, extolling the dubious virtues of America and the American people, it got a number of commenters who obviously are Americans feeling smug, self-righteous and holier-than-thou.
With by far the most comments, this thread is replete with instances where fair-minded commenters, eg Eric Wong tried to bring a fair balance to the interpretation of the American society and its people and western societies in general, got shot down, and only attracted much defensiveness from the very people who were supposedly sophisticated and, unlike Chinese, well-mannered.
The more that the truth about USA is revealed, the more would some trolls fight tooth and nail to shaft the LIE down the throats of others, while not willing or daring to allow the truth be brought out from the closet. I suppose this is to do with the EGO.
I would not say that those American commenters, who were obviously racist, were acting and behaving in an abnormal manner. After all, it is a trait, a universal trait, common to all of human existence, where communities tend to have localised loyalty, defend their territorial integrity, and suffer from frog-in-the-well syndrome.
I think longductong04 had been rather fair in his comments, and was bringing a quite balanced argument in. However, I think he is at risk of stirring the US racist nest.
Hi smickno, are you the same person as Eric Wong?
@longducdong04
Meh, it happens to everyone. This type of post is designed to elicit reactions like that out of it’s readers, there’s a lot in it to make anyone angry.
I have to admit I glossed over the “auto” part of the racist comment, and I’ll also admit to being too lazy to try to find it right now. Care to enlighten me?
@smickno
1) Eric Wong was a jackass. Everyone, white yellow black pink purple, could see that. Hope I’m not offending your alter-ego by saying that.
2) Trolls are trolls. I’m not about to sit here and defend the actions and words of people on the internet. 90% of what anyone in any country about any subject says on the internet is garbage and a waste of time. I find it funny how you try to make it seem as though all the garbage on this thread (and maybe others) is perpetrated by americans whose egos are so fragile they need to lie about everything that attacks their country.
Don’t bother responding Eric Wong / Smickno, I’ve read enough of your stuff to know it’s futile engaging in anything with you. Try to enjoy the differences in our two cultures a little more instead of getting all defensive and bent out of shape over them.
ahahaha smickno the ESL boy got caught out.
btw, why would trolls defend anything? trolls do it for the LULZ, foo. something which most chinatards fail to comprehend. hence they r so easy to troll. fail again ESL boy
sadly enough she isnt a single case, there are many of them in shanghai.
it is a fact that foreigners (even the dirty old man) are very easy find chinese girls.
are you attractive by these girls, of course finding sex with them is very easy, finding a true meaningful relationship is much more difficult unless you are the dirty old expert.
china is a new develop country, many of the young people watch the Hollywood movies when they grow up. admire western culture in their own way, it needs time.
racism..of course Chinese never had experience for black white war, never had apartheid, it happens so often people treat black like crime treat white like king. they are everywhere in the world.
funny enough a lot of the oversea chinese treat mainland chinese like shit…
money, culture, race it is all about the different. accept the different we all need to learn
Oh god, this nightmare of a comment thread resurfaces…with even more absurdity than before.
yes, indeed there are and will be more absurdities.
@Fauna
No idea why the computer is so slow now and just now, that’s why I gave up after writing that one-liner. Anyway, I had thought you were Eric Wong, since you could not in your position use your own name, in the interest of keeping yourself neutral in these posts. No, I am not Eric Wong but I could see where he was coming from and after listening to both sides, he versus the American trolls, I tend to agree with what he wrote.
@Samael
You are pitiable. I suppose English is your first language and probably the only language you are still struggling to learn. You seem to have problems with your punctuation, syntax and SPELLING. I doubt if you are capable of learning a second language. Try reading this: 你是大笨蛋。
If that is not the case, then I think you are seriously demented because you seem predisposed to yell “son” at anything which moves from across the street, and even half the globe.
@Fuller
You are obviously a racist with a huge ego which has precious little to justifiy it. From the way you wrote, you seem to have some semblance of a high school boy, enough to understand but not necessarily to face the truth. Your deliberate twisting of what I wrote is proof that you are a troll, albeit a retarded one.
You told me not to reply obviously because you were afraid to read what I will be exposing about you. Anyway, I am also aware that you are reading this here and now because you are actually dying to hear my words of wisdom, eh.
@trolls
Being a troll, I shall vanish from here but you can be sure I shall come back later on.
And smickno reaches…and reaches…AND REACHES…and…
OUCH…he fails.
Too bad. It was a valiant attempt at a graceful exit. I wonder what sock-puppet he’ll come back as next time.
@kai
I know you love me. The day I am gone, you will miss me. It’s your fault.
Smickno – 你是大笨蛋
You are a big Fool?
Wow, that’s a really nice thing to say to someone.
—-longducdong04
I’m a American Black guy, and I’ll admit that most of the White men I know are actually just like the nice guys in the movies. I don’t know why you’re hating on them so much. Just like ANY OTHER CULTURE, there are great White guys and there are losers. Fortunately, I live in NYC – the rich part of town, so I see the great ones.
As for her comments about Africans, Black men are 300X more likely to marry an Asian woman (from varying countries) than a Black woman – in fact, they are more likely to marry Asian than White or Black.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interracial_marriage#Asian_and_African
The way I see it, if she is desperate to give herself to a White man, more power to her. Its not wrong for people to discriminate sexualy. I personaly believe in survival of the fittest/ natural selection and a number of other science explained sexual behaviors so if that’s what she claims – fine. So what?
NORMGARRY,
I don’t hate White people. I hate Asians who worship White people.
Saying that because Black men inter-marry more with Asian women than Black women does with Asian men, and therefore, discrimination overall against Black/Asian marriages is insignificant is a Red Herring. In the overall inter-marriage statistics, the Black/Asian marriage rate is a blip in the radar screen.
I can not for the life of me understand how, as a Black American man, you see nothing wrong with the way she put down your race. Perhaps you are a citizen of the world and you have transcended race and that you have achieved racial equality in your reality. But I will have to say that not even Barack Obama, our new president-elect, would agree with you.
It is true that her choice to give herself to a White man is hers. However, since she made her decision public and at the same time spewed her disgusting worship of the White race while puttiing down her own race, as a member of the Asian male group, by your logic, my decision to criticize her is more power to me as well.
Of course it is not wrong for people to discriminate sexually, but on race alone and against your own race? Consult any historian and/or evolution biologist, they will tell you that this act is against the natural tendency of group affinity. By your argument then why do we outlaw discrimination on jobs, education, health care, etc., based on race?
From your post, I suspect that you are one sheltered Black youth and I question if you are truly a Black man as you claimed. In the decades I have lived in Los Angeles along side Black American men, I have not run into one Black man that would agree with you.
You wrote: “I personaly believe in survival of the fittest/natural selection and a number of other science explained sexual behaviors so if that’s what she claims – fine. So what?” I guess you also believe in the science that claims to have proven that Blacks are of lower intelligence than Whites and Asians, too.
Also, you have zero understanding of the concepts of survival of the fittest and/or natural selection. I do not have the patience to education you here.
Good luck.
@SMICHNO THE ESL BOY
hahaah
oh god, the fun just doesn’t stop with you does it.
as usual big on sweeping statements and lacking in detail. if my posts are so bad why don’t point out the specifics? on wait you cant, because theres nothing wrong with it. syntax, punctuation and spelling? son, the internet has produced an entire culture around wrong syntax, punctuation and spelling. how about u play by the rules as well? i doubt that all of ur posts are immune to ‘wrong syntax, punctuation and spelling’. in fact they are pretty terrible.
to show you how its done, let me now systematically destroy any last vestige of your self conjured superiority.
in the english language, calling someone ’son’ is not a derogatory term and does not instantly connotated family relations in fact as ur first reaction indicated. the fact that you got so annoyed at me calling you son, show that you have no idea about the english language and is stuck in ur own ethnocentric view of the world. so there goes my dementia. lol
also, the only sticking counter insult you have so far produced, the only thing even remotely referring to anything i said is when i compared myself as an idiot while putting you on the pinnacle of intelligence. well, the english has a knack for self-deflating comments and sarcasm and it is a large part of verbal banter.
see when you call a white man an idiot, he turns it around on you. when you call a chinaman (and in this case mr. ESL boy) an idiot, he goes bat shit insane! and thats why they r so awesome to troll.
the fact that you walking straight into a sarcastic comment and attempted to somehow exploit that to your own advantage showed again u have absolutely no grasp of the language or our culture.
see when i learn another language, i dont butcher it and diss the people who actually speak it. thats called RESPECT, son. learn it.
Finally as a Law/Asian Studies student (majoring in Chinese), i believe that a better term would be 你是个大笨蛋。
BOOM. hows that for cornball?
a troll? please, you give trolls a bad name.
Calling someone “son” is in fact a great insult in American culture. It is a fighting word in fact. Do that to a Black American to his face and see what happens.
Also, if anyone calls me a “chinaman” to my face, he will pay with his face totally destroyed. I promise.
ahahaha back so soon ESL boy? ill call you chinaman wherever i want, in your face, in front of your mother, or ur ancestors grave. hell ill call u chinaman three times a day and throw in a chink for free. chinaman. there i just made it four. you promise to smash my face in? haha, a chinaman’s promise is as good as a chinaman’s chance. look it up son.
respect to all the great Chinese friends ive met, you guys are awesome.
“my decision to criticize her is more power to me as well.”
not really, that shows how insecure you are. a proud Asian man would read this hoe’s post, then go out and score some poontang. just like any other man.
@ Samael:
Come on, you know better than to fall into the trap of being intentionally inflammatory. The detriment to benefit ratio of doing so to your position is not worth it. Trying to make an argument insisting that you can call Chinese “chinamen” and “chinks” is similar to smickno trying to explain away why he’s calling others “trolls” while being one himself. The rest of your position is largely fine, don’t handicap yourself.
@ longducdong04:
You’re right and wrong. Calling someone “son” has both negative and positive connotations depending on context. I’m sure you’ve never heard “son” used by non-relations in a positive, caring context between two people, especially in American culture.
In Samael’s case, we agree he’s using it dismissively against smickno, but at the same time, his willingness to go at length to entertain smickno suggests that his “son” is also used quite sarcastically and for humorous effect. Now, smickno’s free to get his panties in a twist over it, but as it has been pointed out, its something of a silly and inconsequential point to argue over. This is especially true when he’s simultaneously avoiding the more important points he started contending but seems to have retreated from.
The other seemingly harmless term that is used more often in a historically derogatory context towards African-Americans is “boy.”
i dont call Chinese chinamen, only smickno. besides, who said i wasn’t a troll? intentionally inflammatory comments may very well be my trade :P
@kai
Troll as you are, I knew you won’t be able to keep your hands away from your keyboard for long. I was right. Anyway, the rest of what that demented troll said is not ‘as largely fine’ as you gave him credit for. For troll’s sake, go read my below reply to him.
@Samael
as usual big on sweeping statements and lacking in detail?
I wanted to let you 检讨, instead of tiring myself with pointing out your numerous errors (not really worth my time to do that) Since you need a helping hand, I shall oblige you with ‘the specifics” which you are asking for.
1。 You are so demented that you not only mistook me for your son, but longducdong04 for me as well, and that’s within the space of a few minutes of writing one post after the other. Yes, demented people tend to remember in great detail how they sucked their mother’s toes but can’t remember anything that happened within the hour. Calm down, it’s alright, we understand.
2. Your saying that ‘the internet has produced an entire culture around wrong syntax, punctuation and spelling. how about u play by the rules as well?’ suggests that the rest of the trolls who wrote pretty good English were not playing by the rules, boy.
3. While smugly claiming that ’see when i learn another language, i dont butcher it and diss the people who actually speak it. thats called RESPECT, son. learn it.’ you went on to slap your own face, when you aren’t even capable of writing a single sentence in proper English…I shan’t give examples, everybody can see them all here.
4. Your awesome efforts to argue about a non-issue like ’son’ with me shows how stupid you really are. Everybody here can see that I was nothing but a troll, who had deliberately taken the word out of context, ascribing a familial meaning to it, but you were so gullible, naive and 笨蛋 that you lost sleep over that. Oh my god.
5. Your claim that a white idiot like you is capable of turning arguments around, while a ‘chinaman goes bat shit insane’ betrays your loneliness, assuming you are in China. You obviously don’t have Chinese friends to banter with in CHINESE. If you really are a Chinese major as you claim and have engaged the Chinese, you should know that you are not a match against them in THEIR language. Without even needing to resort to vulgarities, the Chinese language is very able to be even more sarcastic than English, insults and all. Ask Fauna or Kai, they are Chinese. You have a very long way to go in understanding the Chinese language, with all its wits and nuances.
6. You wrote ‘the fact that you walking straight into a sarcastic comment and attempted to somehow exploit that to your own advantage showed again u have absolutely no grasp of the language or our culture.’ The fact is that you were fooled by me. I judo-ed your sarcasm, but you got caught fish to hook.
7. You wrote ‘Finally as a Law/Asian Studies student (majoring in Chinese),’ I have serious doubts if you were telling the truth. Even a third class lawyer will not make so many errors of speech as you did for people to rebut. Your piece would have been out of any court of law in any country within 2 minutes.
8. Again, another shit from you: ‘i believe that a better term would be 你是个大笨蛋。’ 你是大笨蛋 is just as fine, it depends on how it is intended to be understood. Now, try reading this: 你是傻子。
9。 Finally, whew! You wrote ‘a troll? please, you give trolls a bad name.’ Ok, I shan’t call you a troll. You don’t qualify.
So Kai, you got it?
Yours truly
Dr Smickno Ph.D (Trollogy)
@ Samael:
Fair enough, you’re trolling the trolls. It’s a zero-sum game but hey, its your choice. But sometimes the best way to aggravate your adversary is to just ignore him. Smickno is desperate for the attention.
@ smickno:
LoL, alright, you win, buddy. I’m not particularly interested in your incessant need to see who has a smaller penis. I admit whole-heartedly that I’m simply not as capable of overcompensating as you are. Now, try not to forget my advice in the Kitten Killer thread: Take a breather. Oh, and happy holidays. :)
hey kai, do you think i should keep going with this tool? part of me says i should for the LULZ. the common sense in me says no. im conflicted brother, help me out.
i do have one objection though
“you aren’t even capable of writing a single sentence in proper English…I shan’t give examples, everybody can see them all here.”
i have asked you twice (or was it three time?) to point out a particular example of my poor english. u have yet to do so because apparently its so obvious. well if its so obvious then it shouldn’t be too hard to give me at least one example??
come on don’t be a tease. i just hope it won’t be something retarded like ‘u didn’t capitalise’ or ‘u did a typo’…lawl
@kai
When you see Samael wrestled down by me, you very much want to go to his rescue, but your hands, legs, penis and all felt weak. I can’t help you if you need to over-compensate your penis. But you are kind. At least, you offered that demented guy a way out of a battle which he has lost.
@Samael
There are thousands, and try as I did to not publicly shame you, you kept asking me for examples. Go back and read the kitten thread where you spelt ’site’ as ‘cite”.(Many many more) If in your demented state, you can’t find it, then look no further. Can you tell everyone here if it should be ‘troll’ or ‘tool” as you wrote up there.
If you need one more example, here’s it. You are ‘demented’ and not ‘conflicted’ as you dementedly wrote. Got it?
@ Samael:
Let him go. It was already over when Fauna called him out.
@kai
cheers mate. much wisdom in what you say :D
@smickno the ESL toolbag
sigh… i knew it was gonna be something lame like nit picking some minor spelling mistake. how long did u take to find that one? lol
and finally, an insult about penis size coming from a chinaman? LMAO!!! do you really want to go down that road son? do you??
no need to answer, since this will be my last word.
@kai @Samael
Too bad to see that both of you tripped all over yourselves and got your panties all twisted. Samael is a bad loser, trying to clutch at a straw, while kai.. well, he’s a sad case. The way he conducted himself has caused just about everyone here to lose whatever respect they might for him. Past comments are here for the discerning readers to see, so let them judge. Good luck, boys.
Any Chinese man that befriends any one who uses “chink” and “chinaman” in his vocabulary is one Chinese that has declared himself to be exactly as the other had implied him to be–a pathetic man of weak character and mind. Too bad there are too many “chinks” and “chinamen” in this world.
No Chinese should be ashamed of themselves to be lacking in their English skills. Do White people take shame to be illiterate of Chinese and mean it?
This kind of stupidity, calling a Chinese person a tool because he/sher lacks proper English usage or fluency and that Chinese person actually taking it as an INSULT, is another prime example of the level of self-degradaton and manifested White worship by the Chinese.
Has there been a worse historical period where this level of self inflicted humiliation was ENJOYED by the Chinese people?
@longducdong04
Just leave it will you? This world is unfair, and sometimes when you are insulted you just have to stop being a bitch and suck it up. Besides, this is the internet; and full of douchebag’s. Besides, if you go around trying to right everyone that had wronged you; your going to have a pretty miserable life. If you can’t stand being insulted once or twice then stay off the internet.
@~~~
I am not trying to right anything and I am not angry. I am pass that. Like you said, I would be a miserable man if that’s my goal.
I am getting a message out–CHINESE PEOPLE ARE SHEEP. The article and the resulting thread is just one of a billion on the Internet that shows how pathetic, clueless, and worthless China and the Chinese has become.
No one can nor have made me angry here. What’s the point since we are not face to face?
@ longducdong04
Wonderful, in your attempt to stand up for China; you have just insulted every single Chinese person. The Chinese are not “sheep”. This article says nothing to imply that the Chinese are “pathetic, clueless, and worthless”.
How does a self-professed Chinese person like longducdong04, who feels such contempt for auto-racists, say things like:
Is it me or did he just fit his own definition of auto-racism?
As a response to the charge of being a auto-racist, I want to point out a difference.
I critize to wait up the fools because these fools are not born fools. As for the auto-racist who write the first article, she wrote as if the Chinese are born inferior to the Whites.
That’s the difference.
Before any one start using the word “racism”, he/she should firdt learn what racism it.
Educating fools is very difficult indeed.
@ longducdong04
No I’m pretty sure you fit into the definition of an “auto-racist”. The fact that you’re trying to “wait [sic] up the fools” doesn’t change the fact that you made a racist comment. Your comment was basically the same as somebody saying “I’m not a racist, but…” followed by an equally racist comment. I think your starting to let racism turn you into a racist.
@ longducdong04:
Careful with your spelling and grammar. Smickno might get on your case for it.
This is racism:
Like the girl you were criticizing, you write about what they were born with with negative, racial connotations. Your words remind me of what many anti-Semites say about Jewish people.
@Kai
He actually apologized for that one already, see my similar comments twenty or so posts ago. Although, his subsequent posts do seem a little arrogant and verging once again on racism (especially the one that ~~~ took issue with), so I wonder how sorry he really is.
So, is auto-racism like when you say “Black cars are inferior to white ones”?
yea im wondering that myself, wtf is auto-racism?
the greek prefix auto = self.
so im assuming you guys are talking about self-hate?
this post brings so many questions, can she slice the tip of my monte christo with her twat? can i snort primo off her tits whilst shes standing, does she take it up the tail-pipe? can she deep-throat . oh and will she sign a pre-nup?
@kai
I know you love me. You are trying to lure me out from my hibernation. But with my ESL standard, I dun think I am able to correct anybody’s English.
@ Fuller
LoL, nice joke about the cars.
@ Samael:
Read his first post. I think his description of the girl saying things to indicate her loathing her own race was sufficient to explain that, yes, “auto-racism” means being racist against your own race. In the case of the original post, a Chinese girl being racist towards Chinese.
@trolls
Race and Nationality are 2 different words. There are lots of Chinese (by race) who are Americans, Europeans etc…
That girl was neither racist nor auto-racist. Since all of mankind are the same, you could argue that she was searching for something which just cannot be found in the human kingdom . She belongs either in the zoo or the less wild kingdom.
All this bickering about bickering over race and who is a racist, an auto-racist, who hates what kind of person for what, fuck…get over it. GET OVER IT.
Taking part in this kind of petty discussion at that level is for fools. The girl is a fool, simply because she’s defining people based on race as opposed to individuality. That being said – it’s perfectly acceptable for people to embrace their inclination to ‘prefer’ a certain type of person, whether they happen to be usually of a particular race, style, age, whatever…just because she has defined her ‘ideal’ man improperly (by saying “from X country”) doesn’t warrant this much of an irrelevant discussion about racism and hate. Some people “usually” prefer X race of people – even though many will be disgustingly ugly (most people in this world are fucking ugly, including most of you reading this), it just means from X person’s experience (even if it’s just TV/movie experiences) they have been attracted to (who cares why) Y defined person which happens to be of Z country and XYZ skin color. That’s not saying there are not *ANY* people who do not fit that exact description to be attracted to by that particular person, it’s a generality, and taking her words and criticisms so black and white as opposed to realizing there is often a LOT more flex in a person’s claims than ‘listed’ is straight up silly.
I’d love a nicely tanned thick booty dirty blond Brazilian dancer girl right now, unfortunately I’m in China so I live with my chopstix. Being able to criticize one’s own race, also, does not equate to auto-racism. You will notice the OP says “SOME” when describing the negatives of many Chinese men (she is referring to mainlanders, wuh wuh) and her ignorance only shines when referring to “ALL” in describing westerners, likely out of language during forum write up or whatever as opposed to actual belief.
wrong rick, im HAWT
Lol, and another desperate whiteboi troll strikes again!
All this is much ado about nothing. People have different views of the world, usually shaped by their personality and their upbringing (and environment). If you are an ambitious and adventurous girl brought up in socialist China, you might well believe that finding a white (white collar) expat is your ticket to a whole different life. If you are an Asian brought up in the US, you will have pre-defined stereotypes about race and believe all black people are a certain way.
Just look at the comments here. If that isn’t proof enough of the truth of what I am saying then I don’t know what is. Conclusion? People are entitled to their opinions – they can’t help themselves even when those opinions are patently wrong and make our blood boil.
I am a black guy from the UK who has lived in China for 16 years. I speak both Mandarin and Cantonese which means I can go anywhere in China and “connect” instantly with locals of all generations. That has been my experience. Yet if I bump into you in a club, I can’t blame you for stereotyping me if you grew up on rap videos and gangsta culture in LA or wherever. Or if your only knowledge of black people is based on the shit you see on CNN and the Western media. That’s your reality and if its limited, there is nothing I can do to change that. I don’t need to tell you that I went to a US$20,000 a year private bording school in ideallic Sussex or attended one of the top universities in the world or. That’s my reality and you ae welcome to yours. The Internet and the real world is full of people spreading hate and re-inforcing stereotypes. Grow up already!
Hello,
I’m Serbian, which means a foreigner but not a Westerner. I’m in love with a Chinese lady and I think that one can’t find a better woman in the West.
I understand the dissatisfaction with the current lifestyle of this young lady who wrote the article, but I think it is basically due to the rapid economic development. Simply, people’s psyche is not able to follow so fast the economic changes.
Still, watching people in China, and reading about modern and historical Chinese culture I come to conclude that collectivism is very important and that’s actually what people from the West have lost. Westerners are individualists and that’s not very healthy. Practically all people in the West suffer from some kind of depression, many are obese, growing number are taking drugs, homosexuality is promoted as a fashionable lifestyle, almost 40% of all marriages are failing, and all that is not good. It basically means that the people in essence are not happy.
The main problem here is that this desease (or a complex of diseases) is very contagious and the West is trying to spread this disease to many other nations – first through human rights, then individualism, and finally consumerism. In the end people are caught in an neverending circle of desire to posess something more.
Everybody should find his own destiny, just I wanted to say that a new society must come, a culture will emerge and I’m sure the best of Chinese values will parcicipate in making up this new culture.
Cheers to all
Good points Sasha. I think you give a realistic perspective to the issue starting from a critical look at western society. it is true that there are deseases often confused as “positive” modern achievments. I like you “down to earth” obiective viewpoint.
Sasha, very sensible post. You are right, it can’t go on like this. Sooner or late something has to change.
I’m glad you like to live on planet Desperate Housewives.
Myself? I’d like to live on planet Heroes with Hiro Nakamura’s powers over space time continuum but life is a bitch isn’t it? oh I’m sorry life ain’t a bitch.. you are.
Although I’m not a Chinese national, China has the earliest form of civilisation, and I’m sad that modern China has given a birth to a bunch Pinkerton syndrome victims. It’ll probably take a few years of real life living before it wears off, making them realise how good metropolitan cities in China really are.
Oh and by the way, America does NOT have universal healthcare. Go watch Michael Moore’s documentary Sicko before commenting any further.
Though your comments are very offensive, I think it does reflect some sentiments of pretty and modern girls in China. You know what? You should just pick the best guy that’s available to you, but not waste your youth seeking fulfillment of your romantic fantasies. I have seen good girls as you who live a good life with a decent (though not perfect) guy, and girls who keep seeking and end up defeated by an equally beautiful and confident successor.
So the young lady dislikes her fellow country men, because amazingly, (imagine the horror) they tend to look like africans.I would advice her to think carefully about going to the west, her next door neigbour might be black, the nurse in the dental chair might be black, her boss might be black, the man behind the counter at KFC might be black?Careful sister, with comments like that plus you displaying yourself on the web afther insulting half the population of the world, does not do justice to your “Better Education” claim of attending Shanghai Jiaotong University.
Was it not a wise old man who said that “All that glitters is not gold”Unfortuntely,As she does not want to tint or mar her beautiful self, she should stay where she is. Gold she is not
Be careful what you wish for. Western men are very independent and liberal. They take this independence to another level. When a western man gets tired of his wife, which he surely will because western men bore easily. The western man will take out life insurance and kill his wife. He will then find a new, better model. Someone said in a early post that you are a walking corpse, you sure are. Western men are selfish, feel that they are entitled, and will do what ever neccessary to get what they want. They have no culture, no traditon, and no standards. They are dangerous.
Very cleverly written by someone who kows to get a reaction. I like the style at least it makes one think and is entertaining.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
awesome
You are absolutely ridiculous. Suggesting that all successful Chinese men succeed not “due to their own effort, ability or honesty” and falsely claiming that they are all “corrupt” and “neither civilised, nor … have good bearing [sic]” while faithfully believing all Westerners are in some sort of godly league relative to everyone else is the very definition of ignorance and naiveté. It takes a mere google search, a quick visit to bbc.co.uk, or a little search on nearly any news feed to find evidence of corruption in Western cultures- to prove you wrong. Your constant false pretenses despite the ease of which they can be countered lead to what I can only describe as absurdity. Your zealous bias serves only to further you from reality. You are absolutely ridiculous and completely wrong.
This was obviously written by a WHITE GUY with an Asian fetish who’s just trying to make White guys who have nothing appear more attractive to Asian women. The sad part is, there are asian women out there who believe in this trash. I feel bad that China doesnt do more to improve the image of asian men. Jews and Hollywood definately are doing a good job brainwashing the world with their trash
She’s desperate, and she’s too young. Later she’ll find men are just men. But I agree with her that many many many Chinese men don’t take care of their appearances, which is really a big turn off.
She can choose to stay single, though.
I’m a Canadian, and my GF is a Chinese, she is four years younger to me and i am 27, last time when i visit China, she made me spend money on things which was good to my self only, like finding Chinese teaching classes and touring around China showing me Great places but to be honest, she never asked me to buy anything for her, she is doing a small job which pays her a little salary and she saved that to treat me when i go there and truly she did, she even had rent a apartment for me to stay, well, if you were my girl…. sad to say that i will leave you within like two hours time, if you ask me what makes me love my girl so crazy, because all she ever want from me to become success by working together, but you are a complete girl living in a stupid dream witch 75% going to end up been a single parent with whole bunch of troubles.
So, think a little and come down to earth from where ever you are now.
@ igi
Thank you for sharing your experience with a very sensible reflection. It makes more sense than many “up in the air” dreams of easy flashy life. How refreshing to hear that an intercultural relationship is based on simple but solid friendship. Thanks for sharing your story and… best of luck!
@americangirl
you sound like spoiled brat who is used to having/getting what you want. stop bashing the girl. it’s her life. besides, i bet you don’t have a clue on what’s going on in China right now.
I just think the girl who wrote this post is merely daydreaming. hahaha…it’s just entertaining to read for us, not to be taken so seriously.
This little girl must have forgotten her brain in a very, very dark place a long time ago… I am a foreigner and I would never, never have a relation with someone like this. I also find some manly habits are bad in China, it’s the same in every country, and anyway we should talk about it together if we want to improve things, instead of pouring silly words in an article like this. Girl, I think you will be used as a one-night stand by men for a long, long time, unless you grow up…
Is this article actually written by a lady who really meant what she wrote??? if so, i certify that she is a lunatic.
by the way i just broke up with my gf from Shanghai. I’m a foreigner working in Singapore. Does anybody still have a shanghainese gf? please share stories with me.
What is wrong with you? Western men are very diverse nowadays.
what are u trying to say@”ilovechinamen!”? u love chinamen or wetern men?
Being a western (american) man, I’m afraid I’d have to agree with her. I will be standing on the beach waiting for you my little college girl. How I will hold you in my arms under the stars and we will laugh as we whisper silly things in each others ears. Don’t make me wait, my arms grow weary waiting to hold you. But I cannot turn away, I can’t forget your words, your hope, your dreams.. I am waiting even in your dreams… waiting for you
just old asian fetish guys and ugly fob chinese girls think that the chinese girls prefer white guys over chinese guys, besides that most want to get a green card and live abroad
Spend like americans earn like africans??????
Excuse miss!! but yu earn 5K a month, a person without education in South africa Earns that much…with an education salaries start @ 12K…. because of that attitude you will not find a western guy, your simply toooo materialistic!!
Btw im from New York!
Lots of vanity, superficial ideas, wasted time and comments! You deserve what you work for honestly! Period.
This is pretty sad, this girl is just one of the many lost Chinese women.
No offense to this girl and her long long written efforts in justification for her own prejudice attitudes but maybe she wasn’t raised right. Her biases towards her own people is unjustified and only tells us all she is arrogance and materialistic.
She claims she is smart but I don’t think so.
She has a long way to go before she is considered smart just by reading her view she needs help.
Her perception on western men is all but a lie and a generalization, maybe it’s from watching too much Hollywood movies.
I live here in the west and I would have to ruin her little fantasy that this is not true at all and she would be disappointed in her ideal western man.
She needs to study more on ‘How to find good men’ in general and not be so shallow as to group western men vs eastern men.
Makes me wonder, I heard good things about China but why are the women sick with this?
@Tao… Excellent observation! I agree with you 100%. But I wonder if the article is really authentic or if it is a made up story in order to provoke people and get them to fight on the issue!? What kind of a girl would really think seriously and bluntly that way? It is a show of flashy and superficial lifestyle that doesn´t make for a good future.
I would bang her through the back door… but nothing else baby..
HAHA! This chick thinks you can buy a house on a dishwasher’s salary. Well, when the subprime thing was going on that may have been true, but that’s what has ruined the global economy…
In my country [US] an oft repeated theme is that we are becoming fat, lazy, and stupid while our Chinese friends are becoming a model for a successful society. After reading this I have my doubts. Could someone actually watch Desperate Housewives and believe that it’s an accurate representation of everyday life in America?
I do appreciate that this woman is able to say what she wants in life without fear of how materialistic she sounds. However, materialism is not a virtue to populations of an occidental persuasion.
Also, it should be noted that if this woman were to immigrate to the US she would find it hard to relate to Americans. She may find her fellow countrymen rude and uncultured but nothing will ever match the crassness of those in my country. Upon arrival to this country she would surely be seeking out expatriates who hail from her part of the world and never become a true American. She would do better to stay in her country and pursue a fulfilling life there. America will only give her isolation and ridicule.
And really, THERE ARE OVER 1 BILLION PEOPLE IN CHINE MOST OF WHOM ARE MEN. Settle down, lady, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence!
LOL. What a loooooooozer. She simply hasn’t a clue does she? Ironic she would complain about Chinese men visiting prostitutes when she herself is a simple whore — available to the highest bidder that can offer her the material things she desires. Her love and body for his wallet and skin color.
Oh, and let’s call a spade a spade. She’s NOT interested in Western men, she’s interested in White men. There’s a huge difference. I’d bet dollars to donuts she’d never consider marrying a Western man (one with all the qualities she purports to want) whose skin colour was anything other than White.
C’mon honey, say what you mean: “I LOVE WHITES!” Scream it at the top of your lungs, it’s theraputic…just let it out.
It’s hilarious that this girl bases her views of America on “Desperate Housewives”… she strives to be a whorish backstabbing suburban lunatic? I really hope someone this naive ends up in the real America.
China lady:
DON’T BE SO FOOLISH AND SHAMELESS!!
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? JUST A BUNCH OF BITCHES WHO JUST WANT MONEY FROM THE MAN (NO MATTER WHAT RACES as long as they have money!)RIGHT?
BY THE WAY DO U REALIZE HOW MANY OF YOUR COUNTRY WOMEN COME TO MY COUNTRY AND BECOME A PROSTITUTE? EVERYBODY WILL JUST LOOK DOWN AT YOU AND SHOWING YOU WITH A UNPLEASANT GESTURE!
FOOLISH CHINA GIRL,
DO NOT THINK THAT WESTERNERS ARE ALWAYS GOOD!
AND CAN ALL OF YOU STOP TO BECOMING A PROSTITUTE?
hahaha..as an overseas born chinese, i have to say that the article is very well said..that’s a very honest and objective sight of china and shanghai..i wouldn’t let my kids grow up in china, i just won’t be able to bear the sight of them spitting on the road, wearing pants purposely torn at the asses just so that it’s easier for them to shit and pee everywhere and save the money for buying Pampers, cutting the lines, etc..
for all other pro-china comments..1st of all please open your eyes and broaden your knowledge, read overseas news..don’t let urself be deprived of informations
Steve
As an overseas Chinese born in the USA, I hope you are not kidding yourself.
“i just won’t be able to bear the sight of them spitting on the road, wearing pants purposely torn at the asses just so that it’s easier for them to shit and pee everywhere and save the money for buying Pampers, cutting the lines, etc..” – I see loads of white people spitting all over the place. Most of the “pants” you refer to are copies of Western pants.
“for all other pro-china comments..1st of all please open your eyes and broaden your knowledge, read overseas news” – is reading overseas news the reason why your brain is so narrow?
wooo..dude..what’s with the offensive comments..thought u guys in the US and A(quoting Borat) were so proud of freedom of speech..
those were the copies of western pants?did u wear them on ur childhood?or why dont u let ur child wear them on the streets of manhattan,i’d love to see how pedestrians comments to that..
so i say what was on my mind n 2yrs personal exp. livin in china..where do u get da right to judge that i was narrowminded and all??oohh ic,the US and A double standard?lol
It is true what she says. I’ve met so many university educated Chinese girls who complain about not finding a good Chinese man. Is it their fault they can’t find someone dashing, romantic, and funny that can provide?
Most university-educated Chinese men come off as nerdy and socially awkward, and those that are not are usually playboys. And this is just the educated Chinese men. The good ones are rare indeed.
No university-educated Chinese girl would date a migrant worker from the country-side, or someone that never went to college even.
It’s sad that she has to complain about older Chinese business men trying to solicit her to be a mistress or g/f even because they have money. One thing many Chinese believe is that because you have money, you are classy. You see this in some of the younger Chinese also, from the 90’s generation. Their families have so much money they don’t spend time studying or thinking about going to college but instead play all day. Those that go to college tend to be playboys.
Lastly, because of China’s one child policy, many Chinese men (and women) don’t know how to be independent. Some don’t know how to wash their clothes, cook food, or dress themselves. No girl would find this type of guy attractive. Unfortunately, we live in a society that values independence in men more than women.
Add this all up, and you can understand the girl’s postings. I think the best thing for Chinese men to do is to take the criticisms to heart and work to make themselves better, not only in their studies but as better people overall- socially, morally, physically, etc.
Keep in mind “China” refers to mainland China.
Oh, and if those are her real pictures she is very beautiful.
Anyone know if they are?
Someone please tells her western men think pale white skin is unattractive, contrary to China, where pale white skin is regard as beautiful.
The girl thinks she knows about western countries, but she’s like a frog in a well who only sees small part of the sky.
Is she?
There are lots of westerners in Shanghai, especially at jiaoda. It seems like she has a lot of exposure to them. As well, her observations of China have to be considered as having some truth because well, SHE GREW UP IN CHINA. If she just visited China for a month or something it’s understandable, but she grew up there.
Reading the comments really has me discouraged.
It comes down to one thing really….how do you see people??
How do you see Chinese people？？
You see them as Human Beings??
Or not???
So a guy can’t cook, he can’t wash his clothes…so the hell what? He is less of a human being now?? Maybe he can do something that most other people can’t do.
What’s the point of even discussing this anyways…. you see someone a certain way. That’s what they will be no matter what they do.
If you think Chinese guys are just one-dimensional nerds or idiots….then it doesn’t matter what they do, then that’s what they are to you.
If you’re content thinking like this, then so be it. I will just make sure that I won’t ever run into someone like you in real life.
Yeah, she’s shallow, Probably as shallow as most western people are.
I mean, if given a choice for a girl in her circumstances, what would you do? I don’t think you’d be with some migrant worker from Anhui Province right?
There is a standard of living in the West that most Chinese will never experience and she wants to. She doesn’t want a guy that cheats on her, and she wants a guy that has manners and is educated (somewhat). Pretty low bar IMO.
That’s all there is to it.
WTF??
What would I do? I don’t know what I would do….but I know what I WON’T do. Which is putting down Chinese people, Chinese males like she’s doing.
You have a choice on how to see people, whether they’re a migrant worker or a student at QingHua university. Chinese people are all different.
You put 20 different Chinese guys in a room, and they all will be different, some of them will be athletes, some will be teachers, some might be a migrant worker….but so what?? I’ll still see them as who they are, see them for their strengths, see them all as individual human beings. What the hell is the difference what you do.
Exactly, you don’t know what you would do because the truth is, a majority of the guys you would not find attractive. I’m sure you’ve been to China, and to the universities. The selection of suitable guys is very small. I’m sure if you got 20 random Chinese guys that they would be “different” in their own ways, but more likely than not, not many of them would be guys a pretty girl from Qinghua would want to date. You can only see so many Chinese guys before you start realizing the selection is pretty slim.
The fact is the things that girls are generally attracted to you just don’t see much of in Chinese men, and the men that “have it” tend to be playboys that cheat on their girlfriends.
Well a person such as me obviously doesn’t have the expertise that you possess to find an entire race of people unattractive. You sure sound like an expert on Chinese people, you got all their lives figured out already huh….
And plus, you asking me what I would do in that situation is just ridiculous. First of all, she isn’t in some “crisis” Life situation here, she is just trapped in her own ignorant mindset and I guess she has to find somebody to blame. If I was her in her situation I wouldn’t do anything, simply because I’m proud individual and I can’t bring myself to put people down simply because their lifestyles are different from mine, or people of the West. A lot of things that she complains about is outside of everybody’s control. Chinese people can’t control their standard of living, it’s still a socialist country at its core, it’s given to them, they can’t control how much money they make, so how can she blame them for that?? And she also complains about physical attributes of Chinese people being weak or whatever. Ok, maybe Chinese people have smaller build, but how is this their fault again? We all know that High Schools in America have their own gym, their own weight room that students can go lift weights. They don’t have that luxury in China, and plus, if you’re in HS in China, you sure as HELL don’t have time to be goofing around and lifting weights, since you have prepare for the entrance exams in college, you don’t have time to other activities. She, growing up in China, should know these things better than ANYONE posting here.
And me, living in China, how many of my male friends can I describe as unatractive, weak, have poor manners, poor attire?? NONE, all of them are good people. But according to you, any person who attends Qinghua university will automatically dismiss the rest of the Chinese population. Come on, what a load of nonsense.
And yes I lived in America too and if your standard of living means having more money and big house, then it’s maybe true. But come on, living in the suburbs in America is pretty damn boring if you ask me. And plus, most of the things that is available in America can be found in China. But most of the things in China obviously cannot be found in America.
“There is a standard of living in the West that most Chinese will never experience” – I personally own a small business in Australia and earn over 250 000 a year in a country with GDP per capita of 40 000 USD.
I am living on the same standard of living as a Chinese with about 50 000RMB a year. China has cheaper food and supermarket products, housing, entertainment than what most Westerners can EVER dream of.
Hi all my chinese friends
This is my life story which I am about to share with you.I am an indian and was married to a white guy in Australai divorced and later on moved to India.
I studiedd in UTS and fell in love with a white guy and it appeared he was also in love with me
I fell in love with one of “affluent”, educated and well spooken guy.It seems that I was on cloud nine and was happy enjoying everything and every moment during the courtship period. The most unfortunate pasrt was that I decieved myself to believe him
I earned more than my husband and after marriage I was robbed of that extra I end up paying the mortgages and car and gas bills for him all this bullying along with the racial slurs at home
My husband was a drunkard and very soon I found out that he used to visit Prostitutes and used to drink heavily , money was always a problem and I was stripped of my hard earned money
I was ready to leave her as I wanted to have kids but could not decide for it as I found myself in hard sityuation
I felt like as I I was the comfort girl for my Ex and he didn’t care about the rest of the things
I regret marrying a westerner and came out of it with great difficulty
Don’t be fooled that you can ride on their money , in fact they screw you for every penny they spend on you coupled with racial slurs that can come along anytime
China and India both shares a great Culture which haS NO COMPARISON with the materialistic superficial natures of west . I would suggest that marrying an Asian men Who can be little hard is much better than a western guy
i like chinese girls, they are tighter
You are being very naive, if you really believe that the hollywood archtypal male circa 1950 still exists today. As an educated woman at the peak of her youth, I can see how important it is for you to want to NOT settle…. go as far as your dreams can take you. I fear, though, that your survivalist attitude will not take you far into the cultivated life you so desire. BTW, don’t forget that Gregory Peck could not even afford a plane ticket back to the states in Roman Holiday. Your attitude is a very old one; a dangerous one that will subject you to a world that will only chew you up and spit you out. I hope that in time, you will use your hard-earned education on more productive ways of living the dream.
i am french and i am working in china.
i have to say that you find the good word to describe Chinese men. not all chineses men because human life is not absolute.
i am really wory about the woman condition in china and the quality of work.
be careful the western countries are not paradise but it i truth the quality of life for the middle and poor class is better than the chinese one.
i hope you can find a good western men as i found a good asian woman. once again be careful not all western men are good, many are bad would abuse of your ideas.
to finish, i am agree chinese men are pig
byby
@French men
LMAO OMG !!!
You’re totally making the point of another post, also a fake story (http://www.chinasmack.com/stories/young-girl-argues-with-anti-chinese-french-on-airplane/) aiming at teasing French people by sounding arrogant, and stupid. You’re funny !
I bet you have a bad breath as well ? LOLOLOLOL
Another French guy in china
(nobody’s perfect…)
I will like to talk to you more
I would like to get to know you
Go watch a rap video. There’s your american life with your american husband. Mmmm Shanghai Princess of Prostitutes…
Haha! I like how she thinks all white men are rich. Let’s be honest, judging from her ignorance she clearly means white not western, I doubt she will go for a “dark-skinned” black American.
I wish Asian (I’m roping in the Japanese & Koreans etc. here as well) people would stop writing self-loathing garbage like this: it just strokes the white male ego – the last thing we need to do.
So when they go to China they think that the native women will be all over them. Which, unless you are genuinely sexy, won’t be the case.
Ah well, let’s hope she sees sense before she learns the hard way and ends up living with some fat old white guy in some dank council flat somewhere.
Anyway, the long and short of it: less whitey-arse licking & more pride.
im chinese/korean, live in bay area in sunny california
this girl… living in a dream world. like those kids who think they’re like harry potter or w/e.
yeah i know what you mean, my dad is hongkongnese and most of my fam is either in HK or Taiwan or Canada. there is some, unfavorable stereotypes of mainlanders.. but just because you’re of chinese ethnicity does not mean you were brainwashed by the CCP..
and i bet this girl cannot fathom the divorce rate, abuse, or so on.
oh yeah, movies arent everything. if so, Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan movies make me feel like China is the Utopia of the world. lol.
AHAHAHAHA.
All western men are tall, have good physiques and are handsome???
Wait till she gets the US and sees all the stinky porkers.
XD
That’s what an education gets you these days – an American dream. Speaking of which, I wonder if she’s seen the most recent version 3.0 of the American dream – walking flesh piles of fat waddling into the nearest Mcdonald & KFC near you – I think a petite girl like her would get crushed beneath the the Western dream.
Ah well, each to their own. But just a thought, perhaps if we balanced out our international offering of sexy female Asian starlets with more macho, handsome male actors in roles other than the evil ranting asian dude or the kungfu funny man; the Asian male would be in far superior position to charm and proposition our endearingly clueless, materialistic female counterparts (to say nothing of all those long legged, blonde and blue eyed Western goddesses who want to explore beyond the dim sum and fried noodles…). Someone get rid of fat Chow and that clown Jacky and clone a few more Jet Lis (hey haven’t you seen Romeo Must Die? even black chicks dig his kungfu).
Bruce Lee is in dire need of a replacement and makeover.
i’m a western male and i’m telling you that you sound ignorant, dumb & very low class.
I can’t talk for all other western men but I like asian women because they are pretty – not because they have been depicted as being “softer” or “weaker” than other women.
i m a foreigner man .handsome and brain .you looks childish .not good in bed, afraid of men in bed .
the university degrees only the ingeneer and doctor degree are worth .the others it s peoples that waste time learning things that have no pupose in the real live .
the girls they only have good marks at school to show ,but after they are not realy capable at work ,looking for making a baby so they have an excuse to stay at home doing nothing.
the girls they have a brain and they can go to school now and have positions at work .then they have to do like us make money alone ,by themselve .it s finnish in the modern country the lazy girls that want to find a rich men and doing nothing at home .over .you stop your stupid buisness university ,you go to an ingeneer school ,you learn how to construct a train or a ship and you will have money because you will do something usefull .
and if you are only a buiness university speaking english that s low level the people only buying and selling ,don t expect to mary a rich medical doctor or ingeneer .eh girl stop your show find you some boysfriends that show you the real live ,or you will be choked one day .you can t have half of my ingeneer income only whith a young fresh ass ,you need to heve the same salary and level than me. 6 years of real study maths phisics ,not the stupid youpies english study
It is very ironic to finish her essay by concluding her dream is more or less an american dream based on the television serie “desperate housewives” while not noticing it is a fact a… Satire of the american way of life.
I really wonder how would she react if she find all the qualities she looks for a man in a… Chinese american / european.
I’m curious of herself after buying her 100th pair of Dior shoes after a day of shopping and depressing about the emptiness of her life, as her beauty and age fade away year by year.
She’s pretty ignorant. Fatal contradiction: a McDonald’s worker cannot buy a house or a car in the western world. Maybe what she means to fantasize about is an upper-class western male; but there are many Chinese men who meet her standards as well. They are probably dating girls who are much more beautiful, inside and out. Why would anyone, western or Chinese, pay attention to a self-hating traitor like her? Someone who lacks loyalty to her country will surely lack loyalty to her husband, and cheat. I suspect this is not a real person at all, but some western male who wants to attack China.
Interesting article Fauna. Do you know about the great website http://www.netlingo.com? It’s the best on the Internet for learning all of the words/text message etc. used on the Internet by everyone. Learn the lingo and get the men!!!
What is all this blasphemy!! What do you mean by Desperate Housewives is not real?
Everyone knows that in the US you can be a freelance plumber and own a house in suburbia while still being able to afford a kid and a girlfriend who doesn’t work. What’s more, in the US, all the houses magically clean themselves up without needing a maid. If worse comes to worst, I can still write a book about traditional Chinese cooking and get voted businesswoman of the year.
Screw all your comments, I’m getting a one way ticket to the US and live the American dream!
Seriously how is this still the most commented article? There are always dumb good looking girls everywhere that think they can trade themselves for materials. But the most succinct summary comes from that 2007 NYC craigslist response to that woman that was looking for a man that made 500k U