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Chinese Husband Eager To Let Wife Be A Rich Man’s Mistress

Funny viral video: Chinese husband more than happy to let wife be a rich man's mistress.

Funny viral video: Chinese husband more than happy to let wife be a rich man's mistress.

The following video on popular Chinese video sharing service Youku is currently amongst the top 5 most viewed videos of the day, having been viewed over 850k times since it was uploaded two days ago as it spreads on Chinese social networks like RenRen and QQ.

From Youku:

Husband turns out to be “someone who eats soft rice”

A casual conversation between a loving couple, where the wife unexpectedly discovers that her husband is “someone who eats soft rice”.

See below for English translation and transcription of the Chinese dialogue.

A copy on YouTube with our translated English subtitles:

Can’t see the above video?

Our translated transcript of the dialogue in the video:

WIFE:
What are you doing?

HUSBAND:
A fine leg.

Wife, how about we play a fire truck game?

WIFE:
Okay, how do you play?

HUSBAND:
My two fingers here is the fire truck.

This fire truck will travel on your leg.

If you want it to stop, all you have to do is yell “red light!”

WIFE:
Alright.

HUSBAND:
Alright.

A fire! The fire truck has been dispatched! Woooo~

WIFE:
Red light! Red light! Red light!

HUSBAND:
Fire trucks don’t stop for red lights.

WIFE:
I knew it. You’re such a dork. I’m getting ready to go out, stop wasting my time.

HUSBAND:
Where are you thinking of going making yourself so pretty?

WIFE:
Going to the beauty salon. Look at my skin, I need to take good care of it.

RADIO:
If skin color is reddish, and the fine hair on the face is soft, then it means the person is very healthy.

HUSBAND:
You hear, even the radio says [if the] skin is reddish, skin hair soft, then you’re very healthy.

RADIO:
Okay, listeners, our informational segment on raising pigs ends here.

WIFE:
SO you’re saying I’m a pig!

HUSBAND:
A wife should of course be raised like a pig, to be white and plump, how great that would be!

WIFE:
That’s what you think. You think raising [financially provide for] a wife is easy?

People say, an ugly wife is like a fan, saves both electricity and money.

But a pretty wife like me is like an air conditioner, uses a lot of electricity and money.

With the money you make in a month it isn’t even enough for me to go to the beauty salon, not enough to buy a piece of clothing, and you say you want to raise me.

HUSBAND:
Wife, you’re no longer an air conditioner.

WIFE:
Then what am I?

HUSBAND:
You’re central air conditioning.

WIFE:
Dork, what? You think I use too much electricity?

Did you know? Boss Zhang even says I save electricity.

HUSBAND:
His family runs a power plant?

WIFE:
No, he’s a client of mine.

Do you know? One day I said I wanted a car and the next day he brought me one.

HUSBAND:
What kind of car?

WIFE:
A mountain bike.

HUSBAND:
He bought such an expensive thing?

WIFE:
Do you know? I refused to accept it. He pursued me for many days.

HUSBAND:
Take it!

WIFE:
What? If I take it, what am I going to do in the future?

HUSBAND:
Take it and we can sell it! We can then spend the money from selling it!

WIFE:
And that’s okay? Please, he wants to spend money to keep me as his mistress, don’t you understand?

HUSBAND:
What?

WIFE:
Exactly.

HUSBAND:
That’s great!

WIFE:
What?

HUSBAND:
He can spend money to provide for you, and then you can spend money to provide for me!

WIFE:
What are trying to say? You want me to be with him?

You think I’m dirty now?

HUSBAND:
No, I’m just spreading it evenly.

WIFE:
Either way, I don’t want to separate from you.

HUSBAND:
We’re not going to separate

You be with him on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays you’ll be with me.

WIFE:
Then what about Sundays?

HUSBAND:
You take the day off.

Aiya!

A Chinese woman with long legs combing her hair.

A Chinese man admiring a beautiful leg.

The Chinese wife reacting with incredulity.

Comments from Youku:

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453054274:

All that talk about beauty care, having a car, being fully financially supported, just look at the morals and attitudes of our time.

valentinorossi:

Indeed very pretty, and her body is very nice too. Haha.

JJYY靉:

赞赞赞 Haha, fire truck, that was funny!!

8181881:

Central air conditioning for everyone to share~

itsok007:

Breasts are beautiful, legs also beautiful, face isn’t bad either, if I were to find [a girl/wife] of this standard, I’d be “playing” with her every day! 搞笑

上错岸:

搞笑 “Eating soft rice” is actually a technical job, not one anyone can do. If you’re ugly and you don’t have money nor house nor car nor personal charm, you can try and still not succeed! So, they can only enviously go criticize those who have the ability to do so! Hahahahaha!

慎敲键:

What a spoof/parody! This brother is such a genius, letting his wife be kept by another man, so he himself can make some money to go keep another woman [as a mistress]!

一碗干饭:

Genius.

恨死害我的牙医:

My old significant other was also someone who eats soft rice, refusing to work and make money himself, and we eventually broke up. He ultimately realized his dream, finding a rich girl. Even if she’s ugly, he’s said before that as long as the girl gives him money to spend and the girl has money, even if she has issues it isn’t a problem.

2312412515:

This woman has been in X-rated films before.

足フェティシスト:

The legs of the woman in the video are really beautiful, I really want to lick the woman in the video’s legs.

evan77: (responding to above)

…Can you not be so straightforward?

Many of the comments mention Gan Lulu, a minor internet celebrity, probably because the woman in this video also has a voluptuous bosom and is openly showing off her body on video.

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The eager Chinese husband.

Husband eats soft rice? Personals @ chinaSMACK.

Written by Fauna

Fauna is a mysterious young Shanghainese girl who lives in the only place a Shanghainese person would ever want to live: Shanghai. In mid-2008, she started chinaSMACK to combine her hobby of browsing Chinese internet forums with her goal of improving her English. Through her tireless translation of popular Chinese internet news and phenomenon, her English has apparently gotten dramatically better. At least, reading and writing-wise. Unfortunately, she's still not confident enough to have written this bio, about herself, by herself.

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