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Chinese Joking About the News, and Themselves

Chinese university dorm

Fudan University student poisons roommate to death. Nanjing University of Aeronautics and Astronautics student stabs roommate to death because of quarrel. Nanchang Aviation University dormitory discovers decomposed body. Jiangsu University of Science and Technology Zhangjiagang Campus stabbing. Universities are becoming more and more like training centers for killers. Now that I think about it, you truly can provoke just about anyone but a roommate! I sincerely thank all my former classmates, thank you guys for not killing me…

Chinese university dorm

angry Once again you tell us not to eat chicken! Once again you tell us not to eat chicken! Every time something happens, you tell us not to eat chicken! Isn’t that humiliating for us people?! Isn’t that humiliating for the chickens! Just how are ducks supposed to look at chickens now? How are geese supposed to look at chickens? How are chickens supposed to survive [lift their heads up] in the poultry world now? Whenever there’s a flu, you have people take woad, woad, woad! Why not just feed woad directly to the chickens???

Chicken taking a bath

Why does North Korea dare to stand up against the United States? Because their money is not in the US, their wives are not in the US, and their children are not in the US…

kim-jong-un-north-korean-military-commanders-usa-targets

A foreign friend who wants to learn about Chinese history and culture consulted with me: Where’s the best place to learn? I thought for a while and then said to him: You don’t necessarily need to go to the mainland to learn about Chinese history and culture. If you want to learn about the Tang Dynasty you can go to Japan; if you want to learn about the Song Dynasty, you can go to South Korea; if you want to learn about the Yuan Dynasty, you can go to Mongolia; if you want to learn about the Ming Dynasty, you can go to Myanmar; if you want to learn about the Qing Dynasty, you can go to Hong Kong; if you want to learn about the Republic of China, you can go directly to Taiwan; and if you want to study the Cultural Revolution, see if you can go to North Korea.

Mongolians

What’s the simplest sentence to describe the difference between Chinese law and US law? Someone replied as follows: Chinese law.txt; US law.exe.

scale

United States: I hit whoever I want to hit. United Kingdom: I hit whoever the United States hits. France: I hit whoever hits me. Russia: I hit whoever scolds me. China: I scold whoever hits me.

angry girl

Q: Will I come across dishes cooked with gutter oil when I’m abroad?

A: Not really… If you want to eat it, you’ll have to bring some from China.

Gutter oil question

@每日一句西班牙语: Which countries discovered the various elements?

@Vickk: What’s the use of discovering them… Have you guys eaten all of them yet? #TheProudChinese#

Which countries discovered those elements

Every overseas movie poster has a Chinese enemy/doppelganger.

Chinese movie posters and foreign movie posters

Please stop attacking the wu mao! Wu mao are the only ones left that represent the people!

Chinese RMB

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Written by Rensi

A translator of trending Chinese Internet humor and Chinese pop music.

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