A Girl’s Monologue: Three years of college, five painless abortions
My boyfriend treating me like this, what should I do???
I am a university student in Xi’an. This year I am a senior, and I am from Hubei Province.
When I was in my first year, my current boyfriend pursued me. At the time, he was very sincere and what more, I didn’t think find him annoying, so we started to date. Two months later, he rented an apartment outside of campus, and we began to live together. Not long later, I became pregnant. In order to let me have a painless abortion, he spent all of the money on his bank card meant for his living expenses and borrowed money from his schoolmates. At the time, he told me that he wanted me to worry about nothing. After the baby was aborted – maybe it was because of guilt – he cried, and so did I.
When I was in my second year, I had my second pregnancy, and again it was that hospital and a painless abortion but his attitude was obviously not good this time, because I didn’t listen to him and go to a clinic to get a drug abortion (which is cheaper). Compared to last time, he would not pay because I would not listen to him, so most of the medical expenses were paid by myself.
He is not willing to use condoms, saying they are uncomfortable. Because I am very dependent on him in my heart, so I usually listen to him. As a result, after a short vacation where I went home and everything was fine, I became pregnant yet again at the start of my second semester of my second year. Because the two of us really did not have much money at the time, I listened to him and went to a drug abortion at a clinic across from a big hospital. After the drug abortion, that doctor said part of the fetus was still there, so afterward I also had surgery. For the inflammation after the surgery, my boyfriend once again borrowed money, and I was also very touched (he seldom likes borrowing stuff from others, especially money).
In May this year, I was pregnant again. This time, we had enough money, and had a painless abortion. However, we had a fight in the end anyway. I asked him to buy me some sanitary napkins, and when he brought them back, I said they were not appropriate and I want the wider ones. He was not willing and said I was was being picky and wasteful. I was very hurt. In the end, I thought he was a boy who didn’t understand girl’s stuff and he came to sooth me, so I forgave him.
In September, I was pregnant again, painless abortion again~~~
In the following 2+ months, he is always trying to fight with me, unhappy with everything about me~~
The day before yesterday, we had a fight over a trifle, and he mentioned breaking up and even moved back to the dorms for the night, abandoning me alone in the Chengzhongcun apartment. What hurt me the most was during the fight he said this:
“You still think you are still the same as before. You look the same, but in fact you are already an incomplete woman. Whoever is with you will be unlucky, having had so many abortions yet still so arrogant. My family only has me as their only child and I certainly do not want to break the family line. You fu*king go be with whoever you should be with.”
I called him after he left, but he didn’t answer. These two days, I stayed alone in the apartment, did not go out, and also did not go to class. Finals are coming. What he said keeps playing in my mind over and over again and I cannot forget it. I am so scared, but I don’t know who I can talk to. I don’t know what I should do. I think I still have feelings for him, but what he said definitely deeply hurt me. What do I do if in the future I have habitual abortions and he again doesn’t want me anymore? I really would be an incomplete woman. My future husband will be extremely sad because I cannot give birth to a child, what am I going to do~~~! I am really like wood right now, my brain unable to think of anything else. Please, everyone, kindly help me. Any experienced sisters please tell me what I can do to make him change his mind and come back? By the way, he also told me that he purposely made me pregnant the first time, because he loved me and wanted to make our relationship more firm.
What should I do? Right now, my heart is so conflicted yet I do not know what I am conflicted about. I am begging you to help me, help give me some advice, okay? Please~~~!
The original poster, 孤鸿飞雪, also selected and posted several netizen responses.
Thank you to the following netizen responses:
[Netizen: hbxgck] I don’t get it. She knows clearly that this man is scum…but this protagonist still married him. Isn’t she asking for trouble for herself? There is an old saying: A woman fears marrying the wrong guy. You yourself chose this road, so please deal with the consequences yourself.
[Netizen: 老实的表哥] Your boyfriend simply is not a responsible person, so why are you still dating him? Hurry and break up, breaking up will be good/make your happy, and plan a better future for yoursel, haha…
[Netizen: yulouyue] Give up this relationship, don’t be so blind, he is not the only man in the world. Nowadays, not every guy is a virgin, so what right do they have to demand that their wives be virgins? Plus, now is not the old days. Leave him and you will find a better one.
[Netizen: Liqun8399] You do not know to use contraception for yourself? If you yourself do not value your own body, who else would care? This kind of man, and you still love him? You really need to think about it.
[Netizen: xueqiang0799] If you have another abortion, I bet you will no longer be able to have children. Eat more old hen to convalesce.
[Netizen: 心湖无涟漪] If you say the first and second time were because you were young and ignorant, we can say forget it. However, you instead made the same mistake five times in three years, it is you yourself who truly does not value your own body, who truly does not take care of your own body. If you are regretting it now, you have only yourself to hate.
[Netizen: cyq_cqu] It is okay to leave this scum! Woman, your own body is the most important thing! Study hard, take care of your body, and it would be best to stop being with this kind of person. Also, stop believing any lie he tells you (what he says when he wants to be satisfied)! Don’t always think of depending on others, you need to be independent!
Additional comments from NetEase:
It would be better for you to be a hooker than his girlfriend.
If what you said is true, you are just a stupid c*nt. If you do not respect yourself, do not blame others for not treating you like a person.
Your body is really strong body. I am looking forward to your sixth abortion.
What is you name? Tell me.
I just want to make sure I won’t meet you.
What a stupid c*nt woman, stop polluting the reputation of Chinese college student. Disgusting to the extreme. I don’t know why men and women are so sordid/contemptible nowadays.
Those who are pitiful must have a cause for having sunk to their lows.
Your experience makes people sympathetic at first, but, in the end it is still you who caused your problem~~~
Hurry and break up, there is no reason to be reluctant to leave such a man!!!
Speechless! Sexual ability very strong, man and woman!
Too careless. You need to know that if a girl has an abortion before marriage, that guy definitely not want her anymore. Men like new/fresh things too much. Men do not become lecherous after becoming rich, but rather they are lecherous by nature. Money only gives them more means.
Women, I no longer know what to say. Truly it is that saying: If a man is not bad, women won’t love him! The more bad he is, the more women love him. Who can you blame?
A woman should know to respect herself and protect herself. What you did (having five abortions for him, just because he thinks wearing condoms is uncomfortable), and while I admire this kind of woman’s endurance, you lost your self-respect by doing this. On the other hand, we can also say you are an unlucky person, having found a man who only wants to “play” with you. You were moved because he felt guilty the first time you got an abortion, but the second time was a burden to him, because you spent a lot of his money. Think about it, if you brought him such a big financial burden, would he still value you? This kind of man is truly vile, not knowing how to protect his own woman. I remind you: Wake up, find your dignity back. If you keep going like this, it will be odd if you guys do not break up, and the person who gets hurt will be you. Don’t rely on him for everything, learn to be independent, and make yourself happy. I hope you can change your current situation, Your’s sincerely.